How to Tell a Guy It's Over ...  

TheQuietGuy2005 55M
3484 posts
10/1/2005 6:22 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

How to Tell a Guy It's Over ...

Dear ________,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of other well-qualified candidates also failed to make the final cut.

I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available.

So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavours, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition.

Tick the reasons that apply:

[ ] Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

[ ] Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

[ ] The fact that our dining experiences to date have left my wallet a little lighter, and your trousers a lot tighter!

[ ] You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one about myself. And then it was "do you fuck on the first date?" ...

[ ] Your constant e-mailing shows me you have way too much time on your hands!

[ ] Your legs are skinnier than mine.

[ ] Your breasts are bigger than mine.

[ ] You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at school.

[ ] I find your inability to fix my car, put up shelves or, for that matter, to make me cum extraordinarily unappealing.

[ ] The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.

[ ] Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Alien Uniforms a little disconcerting.

[ ] Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker. The axe you habitually carry in the back of your car does nothing to reassure me.

[ ] Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long-term partner.

[ ] Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should, however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.

[ ] I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.

Sincerely,


MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
10/2/2005 2:03 am

I'm stealing this, changing a few of the check boxes and using it to write back to people on here who send me form letters. Thank you.


AlbertPrince 59M

10/2/2005 5:11 am

TQ - nice of you to even take the time to reply, so often I am merely ignored.


rm_EE407 42F
3903 posts
10/2/2005 11:51 am

TFF...

Dear ________,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of other well-qualified candidates also failed to make the final cut.

I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available.

So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavours, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition.

A. Your legs are skinnier than mine,
B. The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation,
C. Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Alien Uniforms a little disconcerting,
D. I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time

Thanks for playing... lol


IdealSmile 41M

10/2/2005 2:07 pm

I can fart the alphabet too if that helps.


TheQuietGuy2005 55M
2386 posts
10/4/2005 8:48 am

MissAnn ... Glad to have been of service

Al ... I would never ignore you!

EE ... Are you trying to tell me something? I don't do hints, remember? Oh, hang on ... I don't have any alien uniforms so that can't have been directed at me!

Ideal ... I'm sure you'll find someone that will love you for your talents!


rm_EE407 42F
3903 posts
10/4/2005 10:35 am

pml... You sure?? I think I saw some hidden in the basement!!!


TheQuietGuy2005 55M
2386 posts
10/7/2005 7:08 am

EE ... Oh, in the basement. First of all, I have to ask what you were doing in my basement? Secondly, I should point out that as I live in a third-storey flat (a penthouse without the class) the basement belongs to someone else ... be afraid ... be very afraid I know you're out of my league anyway!


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