Better Out Than In?  

TheQuietGuy2005 56M
3484 posts
8/2/2006 1:54 pm

Last Read:
12/11/2007 11:50 am

Better Out Than In?

Well, it's finally happened: after a mere eight months in the job, I feel as if I really belong.

Yes, I've now seen my first bizarre rectal insertion.

These are, of course, the stuff of legend verging at times on urban myth along with Richard Gere's hamster. Speak to any experienced radiographer, though, and they'll usually be perfectly happy to regale you with tales of familiar household objects and foodstuffs pushed into personal orifices beyond retrieval. At least beyond retrieval without surgical intervention!

Carrots, Heinz ketchup bottles (yes, the really wide ones), light bulbs, all manner of anti-perspirant dispensers, potatoes of a size that would have made a reasonable meal (before being used for this alternative purpose rather than afterwards), a particularly large coffee jar ... the list goes on and on. I've heard the stories, even seen pictures in books and on the Net.

And it's all been at a distance.

Until today. Through the technical wizardry that is Computed Radiography (and after full anonymisation to meet all the requirements of medical ethics and data protection) it is my great pleasure to share with you The One Wot I Found.

Click on the image top left to see a larger view. It’s an X-Ray of the pelvis of a young woman and the odd geometrical shape near the bottom is a mascara cylinder. You can even see the metal core of the brush!

Now none of this shocks me (though some of the stories make me wince) ‒ hey, if it’s what you fancy go for it. No one else is hurt by it, are they?

But I am left asking myself two questions:

1. Do the victims ever expect the explanations they concoct about how this object ended up deep in their back passage to be believed? Typically they’re of the “I was doing something in the nude when I fell/sat down. The object was right there below me and just popped in”. Really? I’m convinced that the doctors only ask to see how much they can make the patients squirm.

2. Why on earth do people get so carried away that they forget that what goes in may not easily come out again? Are we all so incapable of rational thought in such circumstances that we become incapable of remembering to hold on? Are we incapable of figuring out just how embarrassing this flirtation with ecstacy could become?

Still, at least it gives me something to write about!


SweetDarlinAngel 41F
2996 posts
8/2/2006 2:20 pm

If I ever get that desperate ... oh my ...


TheQuietGuy2005 replies on 8/2/2006 3:15 pm:
Just remember those three magic words: big flared base

hotandhorny107 60F

8/2/2006 4:03 pm

Working at a doctor's answering service, I too have heard my share of stories about objects meant for consumption or use in one way have inexplicably ended up lodged in another orifice. Imagine having to try to remain "straight" faced in light of these situations and not break into hysterical laughter while listening to the caller. Of course, after we hang up, they are the "butt" of everyone's jokes...

TheQuietGuy2005 replies on 8/3/2006 12:32 pm:
To be honest it amazes me how our radiographers keep a straight face in these circumstances ... especially given how thoroughly that professional facade crumbles behind closed doors!

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
8/2/2006 8:56 pm

Ouch. What is wrong with these people? Just visit a sex shop and get something designed for what you plan on doing. But as Susie pointed out, that's no guarantee either, especially if you're ignoring the fact that the body is pretty much vacuum packed.

Oh, the black hole jokes I'm resisting...

TheQuietGuy2005 replies on 8/3/2006 12:33 pm:
Oh, why resist?

freetime648 53F

8/2/2006 11:57 pm

Maybe she thought her eyes needed enhancement....the long way around! Who knows Quiet...who the hell knows!!! EWWWWWWWWWWW!

xx FREETIME648 xx

TheQuietGuy2005 replies on 8/3/2006 12:34 pm:
"EWWWWWWWWWWW!"? My job here is done!

helga_hansen 50F  
1987 posts
8/3/2006 12:25 am

I knew there was a good reason I don't often wear make-up!! I wonder if the mascara made the "lashes" on her arse look longer?


Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥

TheQuietGuy2005 replies on 8/3/2006 12:35 pm:
Oh, that's not a reason not to wear make-up ... it's just a very good reason to be careful where you leave your dispensers if you're going to be sitting down naked!

As for the "hairs" comment, I so nearly made some such myself. I'm so glad I didn't now!

Theflinkychick 107F

8/3/2006 5:20 am

Boy, I don't know about all those things you listed. Some of them seem like they would cause more pain than pleasure. What I don't understand the most is why would anyone think it would be ok to shove something breakable up there? The lightbulb one in particular freaks me out. Yikes!

Not all who wander are lost.

TheQuietGuy2005 replies on 8/3/2006 12:42 pm:
You've clearly been mixing with the wrong people!

I know what you mean about the lightbulb. Another one that boggled my mind was the coffee jar ... it really was VERY large. And the surgeon broke it as he was removing it {ouchie}.

Did I mention the fact that vegetables tend to rot quite quickly inside the body so by the time the (ab)users get up the nerve to go to the hospital, they're usually far into decomposition?

Theflinkychick 107F

8/3/2006 1:10 pm

I wasn't freaked out about the location, just the wisdom of thier chosen objects. ick... I don't even want to imagine the decompositions.

Not all who wander are lost.

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