40 Things You'd Love to Say Out Loud at Work  

TheQuietGuy2005 56M
3484 posts
8/3/2006 12:19 pm

Last Read:
8/5/2006 2:01 pm

40 Things You'd Love to Say Out Loud at Work

This, I'm afraid, isn't my original work. In fact, I've got a sneaking suspicion it's been uploaded by someone onto a blog at some time or another ... but I don't think it was mine so that's okay.

I received it at work today, though, and it made me laugh like a drain - so many of them I could just see me using with some of the people I have to work with - so I thought I'd share it with you guys.

I know it's rather long. Forgive me?


40 Things You'd Love to Say Out Loud at Work

  1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.

  2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

  3. How about never? Is never good for you?

  4. I see you've set aside this special time to publicly humiliate yourself.

  5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

  6. Who lit your fuse ?

  7. I'm out of my mind at the moment, but feel free to leave a message.

  8. I don't work here - I'm a consultant.

  9. It sounds like English, but I don't understand a damn word you're saying.

  10. Ahhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

  11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

  12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

  13. I have plenty of talent and vision - I just don't give a damn.

  14. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.

  15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

  16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

  17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

  18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

  19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

  20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

  21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.

  22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

  23. And your cry-baby whiny assed opinion would be?

  24. Do I look like a f..king people person to you?

  25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

  26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

  27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

  28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

  29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

  30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

  31. Oh, I get it. Like humour. Only different.

  32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door.

  33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

  34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

  35. Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?

  36. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is finally done.

  37. How do I set a laser printer to stun.

  38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

  39. I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

  40. Wait a minute - I'm just trying to imagine you with a personality.

PrincessKarma 45F
6188 posts
8/3/2006 1:09 pm

Oooh, I want to be able to say #8 for real!

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

Theflinkychick 107F

8/3/2006 1:15 pm

I love #37...

Not all who wander are lost.

SweetDarlinAngel 40F
2996 posts
8/3/2006 3:30 pm

38. I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

I love that one, it so true and so very me!



hotandhorny107 60F

8/3/2006 9:59 pm

Being in my line of work, I personally love 27, 11 and 14 for some of my co-workers, and 10 really would have worked tonight when the connections for about 1000 doctors went down due to weather related problems...

Actually loved all of them, almost spewed tea on my monitor

Love ya Q good to have you back

helga_hansen 50F
1987 posts
8/4/2006 12:16 am

7. I'm out of my mind at the moment, but feel free to leave a message. I think I'm going to use that for the answering machine at work!!!


Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
8/4/2006 5:05 pm

I love number 14.

HotDev1l 46M
1360 posts
8/5/2006 2:55 am

I confess I have used #3, #8, #20 and #39. Strange thing is....some people are just too stupid to get it!!!

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