Love AND Independence?  

TheHungriestWolf 38M
61 posts
8/3/2006 11:37 pm

Last Read:
8/28/2006 3:44 pm

Love AND Independence?

Love is inherently selfless, so to love someone is to withhold your judgement and control over them.

It is like the Christian paradox that a "loving" God can create conscious beings in "His" likeness, only to cast them off to hell. It is an impossibility for a god of "love" to do this, just as it is an impossibility for two people to purely love each other and restrict each other from experiencing joy.

Some people may only receive joy from a monogamous relationship. And that is a wonderful thing! But all jealousies, fears and insecurities aside, most people yearn to express physical and emotional love to many people throughout the course of their life. And this is a positive thing!

I believe I will find a partner in my life, and I think that having that one person in your life is essential. You can't dedicate yourself to too many people because you only have so much energy and resources available to you. So you find that one person to "team up" with and in that union you find security.

From there you allow each other the freedom to love in your own unique ways and times and places. It is a gift greater than most we have grown accustom to giving in our society.

Anyone feel what I am saying?


8/6/2006 2:50 pm

I believe that monogamy is a choice and desire. Not a forced union based on jealousies and would not be party to the latter. I feel ya! {=}

BTW...are you sure you are the hungriest? I know of some pretty hungry wolves here on this site kidding

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

TheHungriestWolf 38M

8/6/2006 7:34 pm

I think monogamy is a beautiful choice for most people. I don't think open relationships are appropriate for most people. I don't think our species is quite ready to become completely open. But, for some people, there is no other way to live and I believe our lifestyle will be vindicated one day.

On another note...

If you were thrown to the wolves, I would be the one that emerged with your body between my teeth! Was that a crazy thing to say?

But yes, when it comes to life I believe I am the hungriest. Actually "Wolf" has many definitions beyond the animal. "One that is regarded as predatory, rapacious, and fierce."..."Subsisting on live prey."..."Lover of discordant music" amongst others

I am an overly consumptuous man who thrives off of the smells and tastes of a woman's body. It literally is what I think about most of my waking moments. That is probably true of most men, but I have internalized my fantasies into a way of living. I intend on leaving no stone unturned in my sexual journey.

Perhaps a cheap plane ticket to MO is what is needed to settle this debate! happym; happyf;

TheHungriestWolf 38M

8/7/2006 7:46 am

That last line is the hardest part, but the most important, letting the person go.

In my last relationship, it took a while to realize that we just didn't see this the same way. She had made promises, she had claimed to understand, and she had pretended to be interested. But in the end, she was doing that for me, not her!

But after I realized it, it became my RESPONSIBILITY to let her go. She wasn't going to realize it for herself and understand the inevitability of our relationships ending. And even if she did realize it, she would certainly deny it, because she was in love and she thought I would change.

The problem was, when I realized she did not feel the way I felt and had been pretending to, I instantly fell out of love! That was it...

But, like the beautiful woman above so forcefully, and wisely said, it was now up to me to let her go.

But I dragged it on. Why? Immaturity was certainly a factor. I just turned 27 and so sometimes I fall victim to the faults of youth. Another have trouble going without it, and she could could suck teh head right off my dick! Sorry...

But in the end, guilt won me over. I was so ashamed that I had allowed her to fall in love with me and I felt such a burden of responsibility for her heart and well-being. I knew the best thing for her in the long run was to be free from me, but I was so selfishly afraid of breaking her heart.

But as everyone knows, the longer it goes on the harder it gets! If I only had the balls to walk my talk at that point, she would be in a much better place today. But, you live in order to learn in order to live better.

So it's all good...

Thanks MZ

EvilEvilKitten1 63F

8/28/2006 9:50 am

The one essential thing that ALL persons MUST have is one, just one, person who GIVES A DAMN about them. Makes all the difference in the world and is why I have, and most people seek, that one primary relationship. If you are polyamorous then you have more than one, you have a group that gives a damn about you - and you about them. "You need have no pretence with me nor I with you."


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