True Blue  

ThaRealLiv 44M
201 posts
5/28/2006 11:27 pm

Last Read:
5/29/2006 12:31 am

True Blue

When I was very very young Blue was my favorite color.

My teddy bears were blue.

My cars were blue.

My favorite car was a pontiac.

I remember how much I loved my little blue pontiac dinky car that my dad bought me.

I also loved America, but didn't know why.

Everytime something of American content came on tv,

My little blue eyes, would instantly dart over and stare.

But then, I didn't.

I remember something about new york, when I was a kid.

I don't know if anyone remembers a movie, where a child is picking fruit out of a fruit bin on a city street.

He is looking to his right and smiling, true to his colors, yet youthful.

On his right, he loks over to an older overweight man, who is also picking fruit from a bin, and encouraging the child's work ethic.

The two were sharing a wonderful bond.

I think there were banannas

For some reason, I associate the Show with New York.

Maybe it was mentioned somewhere in the movie.

I picture myself darting up instantly when I hear the word new york.

Maybe my mother had mentioned that my father was from new york, and I overheard.

I can't remember clearly, yet..

There was a special emotion attached to this movie.
There is an emotion that I associate with this movie, that I never got to know in my real life, I think.

The last thing I remember about the movie was the old man having a heart attack, and falling over.

AAAAAAAAH That's it memories are coming back!

The child looked over, concerned.

I felt the same thing that the child did.

I don't remember anything after that.

I talked to my dad I think.

I don't know if he understooooooooo


ThaRealLiv 44M

5/28/2006 11:42 pm

Did he understand?
That's it.
I picture him looking at me pitiful.
He was always concerned about how I felt, or would feel about not knowing my real father.

He used to have talks with me about the fact that he wasn't my real father. He always seemed to act apologetic.

Whatever he said, never registered with me.

I was too young to understand.

I guess I thought,..

What does THAT mean. I thought YOU were my father.

I was always confused.

Maybe I have been my whole life.

I was supposed to have been brought up in new york.

But my mother went with the wrong MAN!!

They played God.

They sought a father for me.

And then they let him leave.

I sense the love.

It's different.

I've never seen it before.

It came for a second and left.

It seemed larger than life.

But it's gone now.

I ponder.


ThaRealLiv 44M

5/29/2006 12:30 am

It seemed larger than life.
I saw my mothers eyes.
They were infinitely peculiar.
It was high.
It was real.
The world has never known it?
Maybe I've just never seen it?
She may know me too.
She may not even realize, that she never did, while at the same time realizing that she always did.
It was different.
peculiar.
real
It's gone now.


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