You want to hang out with those 2 whores in TO BBW...fine.....I do not have time for games  

TechSteve 50M
1222 posts
8/12/2006 3:45 pm

Last Read:
9/1/2006 5:34 pm

You want to hang out with those 2 whores in TO BBW...fine.....I do not have time for games

A while back I wrote this----->>>>Close friends vs cyber pals or cyber buddies

I still stand by what I stated in that blog post.

A while back I participated in a certain group (TO BBW) that had a moderator that liked to be controlling. She got on my case because I made a comment in a persons blog. The blog member happened to be a member of the same group, but he was non participating, unlike me, who was a respected member. It was none of her business what I did outside the group. It is something on this site I never saw in the past. Most mods mind their own business.

She banned me and wrote me an e mail. She said she would reinstate me after 7 days. THAT WAS A LIE. She proceeded to slam me in the group while I was not allowed to defend myself. She would not reply to my replies stating my case that she was out of line.

I had a few people that liked me and they enjoyed my contributions to the group. One of them was a real time friend and because of that association, she got booted out of the group too. There were other people that sympathized with me, but they really did not say anything and they decided to stay in the group. I never asked them to leave the group.

It wasnt long before other people were abused. The moderator of the TO BBW group and her assistant moderator used their position as moderators to bully a few female members of the group. These moderators were jealous that these members got the attention of men that these moderators wanted for themselves.

These ladies, including one woman who was one of the top contributors to the group, were banned or they were asked to leave because they stood up to these two moderators.

A few people approached me and said they were leaving the group, but not right away. This was the beginning of July.

It is now the middle of August.

Why cant people be HONEST ????

Dont tell me you are pissed off that people were treated badly by these two bitches !

You people are still in the group contributing and acting like no wrongs were done to people.

I AM DONE !!!!!

When and if this moderator abuses you, you can whine and cry somewhere else.

I will continue to stand up to these two people with or without you.
Steve


TechSteve 50M

8/12/2006 4:50 pm

I am angry about that situation, but at the same time I am excited.

I am going to be doing some improvements to my house in the next few months, but it wont be for my benefit. I plan on selling this place in the spring.

In the afternoon, I shopped at a home improvement place looking for ideas.

I am also busy with work.

Some days I am going to be really bagged.

I have many people on my watched list. There will be times I am going to miss some of your material.

I hope everybody understands.

Steve


sexymamma662003 32F

8/12/2006 5:56 pm

i would think they cant be honest because either they just wanted info from you to give these other females or that they decided that they didn't want to leave.

just remember that there are other groups out there that can respect that there are just something that they need to butt out of.

in the group i moderate i don't take bullshit or sides in the group. just because 2 members may not like each other that is there problem. i don't want it in the group if they don't like it they can leave.

~sexy~


TechSteve 50M

8/12/2006 6:57 pm

    Quoting sexymamma662003:
    i would think they cant be honest because either they just wanted info from you to give these other females or that they decided that they didn't want to leave.

    just remember that there are other groups out there that can respect that there are just something that they need to butt out of.

    in the group i moderate i don't take bullshit or sides in the group. just because 2 members may not like each other that is there problem. i don't want it in the group if they don't like it they can leave.
I like the blogs better than the groups, even with the new announcements that were made by the CEO.

I think they decided they didnt want to leave the group.

Thank you for your comments.

Steve


lissi888888 53F
1401 posts
8/12/2006 7:09 pm

    Quoting TechSteve:
    I am angry about that situation, but at the same time I am excited.

    I am going to be doing some improvements to my house in the next few months, but it wont be for my benefit. I plan on selling this place in the spring.

    In the afternoon, I shopped at a home improvement place looking for ideas.

    I am also busy with work.

    Some days I am going to be really bagged.

    I have many people on my watched list. There will be times I am going to miss some of your material.

    I hope everybody understands.

    Steve
OMG...so you decided to make the move eh???? Come on...tell me tell me tell me...I sooo wanna know. You don't have to respond in here...I will be trackin you down LOL.

Lis

PS...the world is full of possibilities for those that just dare to make the dream a reality


header1979 38M
507 posts
8/12/2006 7:19 pm

I don't know why anyone would stay in a group with an abusive moderator. If I thought the moderator was abusive, I would just leave the group. I don't need that kind of shit in my life.


lissi888888 53F
1401 posts
8/12/2006 7:26 pm

OK...and now regarding the post above about the chickies promises.

Personally, I feel that what you are doing is best. People make decisions as they choose and as time goes on they re-assess what is best for them. Just because they may not like what is going on/has gone on...they may like other people in the group and be willing to put up with the shit because they are meeting people and making contacts that are near to them geographically. As you know...on here that's kinda important.

As their friend, standing back and letting whatever happens happen is the best move you could possibly make. We are all adults on here and trying to do what we can to be happy. Don't begrudge them that.

Lis


DIVISION77 40M
8337 posts
8/13/2006 12:45 am

Why would you ever entangle yourself in this kind of drama, Steven?

What is the point of being a "group" when you have the same type of politics and jealous that pervades any organization?

What were you getting out of it?

It appears that the females who said they were leaving re-assessed the situation and decided that it was best for them to stay given the circumstances.

It's obvious where their loyalties lie.

Fuck them, they probably weren't worth the friendship anyway.

I hope you have let them know where you stand on this.

People are so spineless, esp on the internet.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


EroticaXTC 51F

8/13/2006 2:02 am

It's usually at crunch time that people show their true colors. It sounds like the "moderator" isn't moderating at all but "controlling", which you recognized. Evidently those who stay would rather be led around by the nose. You are being true to yourself, which is ultimately all that matters. Good luck with the home improvements and I hope you're able to reap the full benefits come spring


rm_iwannatellu 46F
933 posts
8/13/2006 6:43 am

Hi Steve

It is a great pity, but I find that most people are not able to stand up in the face of difficult choices, specially if they have to choose sides that affect them directly.

I agree with DIV - in this case, they are probably not true friends. I could be wrong...


SolarPowered0 111M
8024 posts
8/13/2006 10:06 am

The Ad Lines! You can't get banned from them (except by AFFland.) And you can defend ANYTHING - at ANY TIME!

Solar...(on a wing, and a prayer)


SensuousWoman3 56F
3106 posts
8/13/2006 1:38 pm

I think it takes a great deal of decorum to moderate a group and the ability to abstain from abusing the authority that is inherent therein. It is not “their” group it is the “people’s” group. I can only imagine that being a group moderator is a huge responsibility. Clearly, not everybody is cut out for the job.


shooter0085 42M

8/14/2006 2:24 pm

Steve,

Wow! Thats too bad. I thought people here had no reason to lie. I guess I am naive. LOL Don't go yet...I was just getting warmed up to your blog. Nonetheless, I understand, we all do have lives. As far as the group again...You have to be pretty level-headed to head up a group. Leadership, and I mean real leadership, is a trait that has seemed to disappear recently. Why not start your own group once the remodel is done and the house is sold? All the best.


TechSteve 50M

8/14/2006 4:30 pm

    Quoting lissi888888:
    OMG...so you decided to make the move eh???? Come on...tell me tell me tell me...I sooo wanna know. You don't have to respond in here...I will be trackin you down LOL.

    Lis

    PS...the world is full of possibilities for those that just dare to make the dream a reality
It wont be till the spring.

It will probably be in the southwest of Toronto along the QEW towards Niagara Falls.

This area I live in is nice but for trucking, you cannot beat the GTA area.

I am sick of living a rural area. I want to live in a suburban area.

Steve


TechSteve 50M

8/14/2006 4:35 pm

    Quoting header1979:
    I don't know why anyone would stay in a group with an abusive moderator. If I thought the moderator was abusive, I would just leave the group. I don't need that kind of shit in my life.
I was handcuffed in that group.

The moderator wanted the people to be clones.

It is an artsy fartsy group.

There can never be a serious discussion in that group because people are too intimidated to say anything.

Steve


TechSteve 50M

8/14/2006 4:40 pm

    Quoting lissi888888:
    OK...and now regarding the post above about the chickies promises.

    Personally, I feel that what you are doing is best. People make decisions as they choose and as time goes on they re-assess what is best for them. Just because they may not like what is going on/has gone on...they may like other people in the group and be willing to put up with the shit because they are meeting people and making contacts that are near to them geographically. As you know...on here that's kinda important.

    As their friend, standing back and letting whatever happens happen is the best move you could possibly make. We are all adults on here and trying to do what we can to be happy. Don't begrudge them that.

    Lis
They can do what they want, but I choose not to associate with them in any way anymore.

That is not the only place to play on this site.

They can start a blog. They can start their own group.

Steve


TechSteve 50M

8/14/2006 4:45 pm

    Quoting DIVISION77:
    Why would you ever entangle yourself in this kind of drama, Steven?

    What is the point of being a "group" when you have the same type of politics and jealous that pervades any organization?

    What were you getting out of it?

    It appears that the females who said they were leaving re-assessed the situation and decided that it was best for them to stay given the circumstances.

    It's obvious where their loyalties lie.

    Fuck them, they probably weren't worth the friendship anyway.

    I hope you have let them know where you stand on this.

    People are so spineless, esp on the internet.

    DIV
I never told them and I wouldnt have gotten so upset except that a couple of them made a big deal of them leaving the group in the future.

They wanted to tell the moderator in person to stick it at a meet and greet. I guess they got cold feet.

I never met these ladies in real time, so I consider them to be cyber pals.

Steve


TechSteve 50M

8/14/2006 4:49 pm

    Quoting EroticaXTC:
    It's usually at crunch time that people show their true colors. It sounds like the "moderator" isn't moderating at all but "controlling", which you recognized. Evidently those who stay would rather be led around by the nose. You are being true to yourself, which is ultimately all that matters. Good luck with the home improvements and I hope you're able to reap the full benefits come spring
The people that stay in that group, just like in many groups, are people that like to be led.

I have suggested to a few people who participate in groups to start a blog and that is scary to them.

It sounds stupid, but many people in that group do not have blogs and they dont want responsibilities at all.

Steve


TechSteve 50M

8/14/2006 4:56 pm

    Quoting rm_iwannatellu:
    Hi Steve

    It is a great pity, but I find that most people are not able to stand up in the face of difficult choices, specially if they have to choose sides that affect them directly.

    I agree with DIV - in this case, they are probably not true friends. I could be wrong...
I think they are two faced.

They pretend to be everyones friend.

Were they manipulating me when they told me they thought those moderators were skanky HOs ??

I wonder what they are saying about me when they are talking to them ??

Steve


TechSteve 50M

8/14/2006 4:58 pm

    Quoting SolarPowered0:
    The Ad Lines! You can't get banned from them (except by AFFland.) And you can defend ANYTHING - at ANY TIME!

    Solar...(on a wing, and a prayer)
Whenever I go in there, I feel like I dont belong there.

I dont care to give any advice and so many people feed these trolls.

Steve


TechSteve 50M

8/14/2006 5:03 pm

    Quoting SensuousWoman3:
    I think it takes a great deal of decorum to moderate a group and the ability to abstain from abusing the authority that is inherent therein. It is not “their” group it is the “people’s” group. I can only imagine that being a group moderator is a huge responsibility. Clearly, not everybody is cut out for the job.
This moderator, although she may say the group is for everybody, made it an extension of her profile.

That is my opinion.

A few times she bitched and complained that she wasnt getting respect.

There were times I was disrespected, but she dismissed my concerns.

Steve


TechSteve 50M

8/14/2006 5:06 pm

    Quoting SexySensualSane:
    Hey You!!!!!

    Didn't I tell you already???? No Complaining in the blogs!!!!!

I got some blog ideas that are going to piss people off.

I noticed today that some phonies are comparing themselves to oppressed ladies in the middle east.

I have done my homework and there are women out there that have suffered real oppression.

Steve


TechSteve 50M

8/14/2006 5:09 pm

    Quoting shooter0085:
    Steve,

    Wow! Thats too bad. I thought people here had no reason to lie. I guess I am naive. LOL Don't go yet...I was just getting warmed up to your blog. Nonetheless, I understand, we all do have lives. As far as the group again...You have to be pretty level-headed to head up a group. Leadership, and I mean real leadership, is a trait that has seemed to disappear recently. Why not start your own group once the remodel is done and the house is sold? All the best.
I started a group, but it was really just a gathering spot for close friends.

The blogs are better than any groups.

There should be better material being written by me in the future.

I have things happening in the next week that are going to be blogable.

Steve


QueenofBitches69 47F

8/14/2006 9:59 pm

"She proceeded to slam me in the group while I was not allowed to defend myself."

Sorry hun, but I have been in the same boat, people have slammed me, and I was not allowed to defend myself, cause my friends told me to be more adult then the people slamming! BUT, if the people who really know you will not help by standing up for you, the people you call "FRIENDS" then what are your other choices but to stand up for yourself?
If I hear one more time "I know your in the right, but I don't want to get in the middle" I will scream! But they have no problems sending me E-mails telling me how wrong the others have been. They just won't speak up. And by my "FRIENDS" not speaking up, and I have to defend myself, then it looks like I am the ASS of the situation.
I am now a firm believer the only person you have to look out for you is YOU! And as long as you know the truth FUCK the rest!

Sorry I was rambling


TechSteve 50M

8/17/2006 4:26 pm

    Quoting QueenofBitches69:
    "She proceeded to slam me in the group while I was not allowed to defend myself."

    Sorry hun, but I have been in the same boat, people have slammed me, and I was not allowed to defend myself, cause my friends told me to be more adult then the people slamming! BUT, if the people who really know you will not help by standing up for you, the people you call "FRIENDS" then what are your other choices but to stand up for yourself?
    If I hear one more time "I know your in the right, but I don't want to get in the middle" I will scream! But they have no problems sending me E-mails telling me how wrong the others have been. They just won't speak up. And by my "FRIENDS" not speaking up, and I have to defend myself, then it looks like I am the ASS of the situation.
    I am now a firm believer the only person you have to look out for you is YOU! And as long as you know the truth FUCK the rest!

    Sorry I was rambling
Dont apologize.

I agree with your comments.

Some of these people I was talking about said some really harsh things about these moderators. They still feel the same way. Nothing has changed.

Yet they can joke and pal around in a group and meet in real time every month at meet and greets.

I can understand in a workplace people holding their nose or biting their tongue and making the best of it, but not in a group at AdultFriendFinder.

I dont know who is the more evil person.

The person who knows they have the power to have people be their friends or pals despite these pals disliking them or the people who pretend to be friends with somebody and then tell other people they hate them.

Steve


QueenofBitches69 47F

8/19/2006 12:16 pm

I have made a choice to walk away from a couple of friends who, so to speak, rode the fence on the drama against me, knowing it was wrong!
But hun, it is their lose!


tallnsexy5100 59F

8/19/2006 7:14 pm

Well steve if you ever spent any time in your chat room I would have not gone back .But everytime I go there's no one there.I'm sure that your blog was pointed towards me in general.I have missed you and have been away from the computer and the TO bbw group too.I'm sorry you fell this way but if you continue to be an asshole you will get shit on you.


sherrie74 66F
112 posts
8/19/2006 8:12 pm

As Lissi and Tall have said Steve.... I am still in other group for the people in the group, I enjoy talking to many of them. And.... agree with Tall also....you are never in your room and you know I have come in many times and left you messages. Not saying anymore.


TechSteve 50M

9/1/2006 5:34 pm

    Quoting lissi888888:
    OK...and now regarding the post above about the chickies promises.

    Personally, I feel that what you are doing is best. People make decisions as they choose and as time goes on they re-assess what is best for them. Just because they may not like what is going on/has gone on...they may like other people in the group and be willing to put up with the shit because they are meeting people and making contacts that are near to them geographically. As you know...on here that's kinda important.

    As their friend, standing back and letting whatever happens happen is the best move you could possibly make. We are all adults on here and trying to do what we can to be happy. Don't begrudge them that.

    Lis
Lissi, I dont care who reads what I am going to say here.

I noticed in your blog, you have been very friendly with some dubious people.

These people are guilty of comment whoring, but more seriously, they are guilty of being phoney or supporting phoneys on the site.

I am talking about Mr todd and spunkface.

That is a serious problem on this site.

I cannot associate with people who are friends of people who are out to play serious games with people on this site.

Steve


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