Consultation with Billy Bob  

TammyDHU 46F  
972 posts
3/7/2006 8:15 pm

Last Read:
3/14/2006 1:30 am

Consultation with Billy Bob

When Smokin' Joe stopped by our business office he was toting an extra envelope underneath that arm.

"Say hun?" I hate it when people call me hun. Yet I like Smokin' Joe so I don't yell at him. "Will ya check this one out for a friend of mine? He think's he's gotta pay in and wants you to look at it."

How many times a year don't I get this. But since I like Smokin' Joe I agree, and take the envelope. I send Smokin' Joe home with his paperwork and sit down to run the numbers for whomever yahoo Dude it is hidden in this brown envelope I have in my lap.

Upon immediate scrutiny it's obvious there's something seriously wrong with his case. There's no federal witholding. None. Zippo. Something is deeply the matter. I grab the grease-stained (should I have even touched that???) piece of paper with Dude's phone number scribbled on it and leave the Dude a message he must come to the business office and sit down with me.

Dude shows up the next night.

TT (me): Your name is..

Dude: Billy Bob

TT: okay, do you mind if I call you just Bob?

Bob: sure

TT: okay Bob, I want you to explain why you made a fairly decent income but have no witholding?

Bob: uh....I'm not sure

TT: okay Bob, how many kids do you have?

Bob: uh....I had six. But then Marsha and I, well we just got another one last year.

TT: okay Bob. How many of these children can you claim?

Bob: uh....I got done told I could take a none of first three my wife takes and the other three my second wife takes.

TT: ok Bob, what about the child you have with Marsha?

Bob: well she still married you know...

TT: okay Bob. Tell me how many exemptions you claimed on your W4.

The next fifty minutes was spent explaining to our Billy Bob in preschool terms just exactly what form this was even though he had probably held over fifty jobs in all his umpteen years of life.


Bob (after a tremendously long pause): uh....I think twelve.

There is no way in the world to make Dude comprehend what he has done to himself. With all the valiant efforts I have within me, I know it would be a fruitless cause for me. It's a tax story alluding to the tragedy of Wuthering Heights.

I am trapped in Tax Accountant Hell for a poor lost soul and I must spend many months helping him out.

After this I am the one to get up and pour myself a very stiff one. I give Dude a beer and we go on. All the while I am imagining someone like Frank, or his brother Tom, driving up and knocking at the door. "Say hun," he says in my worst nightmare. "I got a friend named Dale...."

corvairguy 66M

3/8/2006 6:02 am

There are times that you have to learn to say, NO! You may be the bitch because of it but life is sometimes easier.

I hope I inspired you last night.

TammyDHU 46F  
246 posts
3/11/2006 12:54 am


In case you happen to read this...the lady friend who our Billy Bob had a baby with, I already had done taxes for...incidentally it's pretty hard to turn down the case, given those circumstances!

And yes hon, you DID inspire me!!!

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