Is there life out there?  

THEcowgirl37 35F
16 posts
1/16/2006 8:14 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Is there life out there?

Hmmm, I think I am in a venting mood, but I don't really know. I have a lot on my mind right now and I am not sure why. I ordinarily would post a blog like this on myspace, because it isn't gonna have much sexual context, but at the same time I know my husband can read that one, and I know he doesn't come on this website. Not that I have anything to hide from him, it's just some things are better left unsaid, or they start a fight. I don't know, maybe I should be more forward with my feelings about certain things, like people, then maybe he would understand why his complete lack of respect gets to me. I know, you have no idea what I am talking about. To be concise, I am being disrepectful because he is disrespectful. See he has this chick that he talks to online that has almost cost us our marriage a couple of times because he hid everything from me. I don't trust him in the least when it comes to her. But I won't leave, especially now with the baby, because as far as I know nothing has ever happened between them. Up until a few weeks ago she lived in VA and we live in Cali, but he did, however, tell her that he loved her. For some reason I can't get over that fact. Anyway, my problem is that I am a complete hypocrite because I have this old friend that Drew and I have fought about almost since we got married. He doesn't like me talking to or hanging out with this guy, even though I have known him for like a decade and Drew for aboput half that time. There is a tone of unfinished business underlying our friendship, but nothing I would ever act on as long as I am with Drew. 2 years ago at this time, he would have flipped out about me talking to him, now he has no right to complain, not unless he is going to stop talking to Gwyn. But I feel guilty! Especially since I am having a bad case of "What ifs," that I am notorious for if you ask any of my friends. It just amazes me how excited my friend gets when he does see me or talks to other people about me. Something that Drew only manages to do when it looks like I may actually leave him. There is a new song out by a guy named Jason Aldean (it's country for those who don't know) simply called, "Why?" For anyone who knows that song, listen to it and you will understand how I feel about my husband. That is how he is exactly. As for me, my song right now (aside from "Honky tonk Badonkadonk" by Trace Adkins) is Reba's "Is There Life Out There?" The song is self explanatory. Anyway, I guess I have rambled enough. . . if anyone can make sense of my ramblings, please comment, I would love some advice!

Cowboy_Deluxe 39M

1/16/2006 8:54 pm

If I was in your shoes? I'd be packing..thats just me though..but maybe your marriage is different than most? I don't know. I see that you are not completly happy..I enjoy being happy, and really love not venting about anything.
So my advice? Get happier and less venting..cause indeed it is ramblings. Yet you have a guy giving you advice? Take it for what it's worth then..

Deepthroat215 53M
328 posts
1/19/2006 8:07 pm

You make perfect sense. You need to find a way to bridge the gap in your marriage if you want to save it. I come online to escape a little so I don't find comfort in "friends" who you know you might end up in bed with. We have two kids and do love each other...we have problems, but hey, who doesn't

Good luck

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