Life as a Hen  

Sweetpickles69 48F
4147 posts
9/1/2006 7:09 am

Last Read:
9/3/2006 6:52 pm

Life as a Hen

After a night of drinking, Brian crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed, wearing a long flowing white robe.

"Who the hell are you?" demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?".

The mysterious Man answered, "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter".

Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... You've got to send me back straight away".

St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."

Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.

"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen, How are you enjoy ing your first day here?"

"It's not so bad," replies Brian, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode".

"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before."

"Never," replies Brian.

"Well just relax and let it happen."

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.

An immense feeling of relief swept over him And his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood For the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had happened to him...ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting,

"Brian, wake up you drunken bastard, you're shitting in the bed!"



Peace,
Pickles


dasher121 37M

9/1/2006 7:48 am

good lord that was hilarious! hahaha, did not see that coming at all lol.


rm_cutechubby8 47F
3428 posts
9/1/2006 9:16 am



An old lady is rocking away the last years of her life on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when all of a sudden a fairy godmother appears in front of her and tells her that she will be granted three wishes.

"Well now,"says the lady,"I guess I would like to be really rich."

***POOF*** her rocking chair turns to solid gold."And, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young,beautiful princess."

***POOF*** she turns into a beautiful young woman. "Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them.

"Ooh, can you change him into a handsome prince?"she asks.

***POOF*** there before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear."Bet you're sorry you had me neutered!"


bustybettyboop 51F  
59326 posts
9/1/2006 9:44 pm

omg! that was the funniest thing i've read all day!!! lmao!!!

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marathonman45202 54M
6640 posts
9/3/2006 8:22 am



silverbreeze2 66F

9/3/2006 8:22 am

OMG

Too....Too....Funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


MrFun794u 44M
49 posts
9/3/2006 8:24 am

LMAO


sexymamma662003 32F

9/3/2006 9:59 am

oh my fucking god. that was hilarious

~sexy~


LONELY5207 49M
261 posts
9/3/2006 10:16 am

LMAO I HAD THE SAME DREAM LAST NIGHT!!!!!

LONELY5207
NOT REALLY


Sulabula 46F
12659 posts
9/3/2006 12:08 pm

Lmao...that was brilliant...so funny

Sula xxx

come visit my blog


justslim58 59M
15 posts
9/3/2006 1:41 pm

makes sense to me struggle half your life for your dream, then all you get is shit.


rm_The_joker62
315 posts
9/3/2006 5:50 pm


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