SweetSouthrnGrl 45F
196 posts
10/26/2005 1:03 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


Just ran across a profile for a local man who obviously has a high disdain for women of any size other than a twig or if she turns sideways you lose her. Really pisses me off that some people have no tolerance for anyone who doesn't spend their life in a gym and/or has a naturally high metabolism. Sure we would all love to be the size we were at 18...but let's face it. Life happens, shit happens, children happen and our waists don't always go back to the "perfect" (whatever!!!!) size 10.

No wonder he is single!

You know what I say -- "bite me baby!"

rm_Kinjukinji 50M/40F
64 posts
10/26/2005 6:14 pm

I'm a man, and I don't mind a thinnish woman, but my life mate isn't too thin and it doesn''t bother me. She's still the hottest woman I've ever met. Ma'am, there are a ton of men who just love a little something extra to grab on to, because there are million of them out there.

let the poor guy chase his sticks in clothing while you find someone who loves you for yourself!

-- [blog Kinjukinji]

OnMyKnees05 44F

10/26/2005 6:26 pm

I'm FARRRRRRR from the "TWIG" here, and I agree w ya'... how sum ppl just cum off really pissy bout it BUT hey, they like what they like and certain types just don't turn em on...But, hey, there r way more men that like us thicker gals, that's 4 certain.

drnick20054 29M

10/26/2005 6:27 pm

i say "were"

rm_unlistedone 67M
2718 posts
10/26/2005 10:49 pm

I hope for his sake he doesn't try to hook up with you, girl. That could get ugly... very fast.

Okay, I'm going to go out on a limb here. Hope I don't fall off.

Each and every one of us here has their idea and expectations of what is perfect for them. That is okay. We all have that right. But the right becomes wrong if they belittle someone who doesn't fit into their perfect thoughts. Why even go there?

But how about someone that you know in real life; that just lets themselves go? You know, with a little work and taking a little pride in themselves, they can again look fantastic. And how do you tell that person, "Hey, I adore you. And I care about you. But could you do yourself a favor, and me, and do something about the way you've become? (I guess I just may have answered my own question.)

Is that a fair request to make of someone? I mean, to each his own, right? Or is that true, also? Afterall, if you are close to that person, doesn't their attitude affect your attitude and how you feel about them? Looks, thoughts, and a noncaring behavior about oneself can destroy a lot of things you might hold dear and close to you. And if it does... do you have a right to ask them to "please... get up off your butt, and do something about this?"

Questions that bring own more questions.

Sorry, ssg.... for venting on your vent. unlisted

CvilleM4U 57M
17 posts
10/31/2005 7:39 am

Hey...You know what I think, girl! Like GRITS!(Girls Raised In The South)...and I like them hot, steamy, and a little thick...

Jifry 54M

11/1/2005 7:23 pm

Dear SweetSouthrnGrl,

I may or may not be the man whose profile irritated you so in your blog Arrogant of the 26th. I do say in my profile that I prefer athletic women and that my partners match or exceed my fitness level. Let me say a few things from personal experience that may address your anger and hopefully assuage it, even if you don't agree.

I am 40something years of age and have enjoyed the company of many women from as many walks of life as an adult. I do not disdain women who are not athletic, from experience and variety I merely prefer women who are. While I guess I do enjoy women who spend their life in a gym - or on a bicycle, trail running, on a climbing wall, yoga mat, dance studio, dojo, or boxing ring - I know from experience that women with a naturally high metabolism are not satisfying to me. IME, they were pretty to look at in a generic sort of way, but were not able to keep up with me in or out of the sack because they had no power, no energy.

The popular, plastic standard of beauty that intimidates and diminishes women who don't fit it offends me, too. The semi-pro athletes I have been lucky to be with would also agree with you from their own painful experiences. Two of my most recent lovers stand out here: one was a boxer, the other a gymnast/choreographer/climber. I found both women stunning, but their broad shoulders, powerful forearms, strong backs and physiques so developed that they would stop menstruating while training did not earn them admiration from most men. One of the worst things about this was that they felt romantically shunned not for what they were, but for what they had spent years of their lives training and aspiring to be. Their pain from this was real, as much as a perhaps zaftig woman like yourself might find the notion absurd.

These women are like myself, we are not the same size we were when we were 18, all three of us are, in fact, faster than when we were 20 and stronger than when we were 30. We have chosen our way because we enjoy the discipline and its results. It is not always easy, but this is a priority in our lives and , the boxer I write of manages it with a three year old girl in tow. We are happy in our way, we do not mean to diminish you in yours. Please respect our choices and the burdens that come from our choices. We only wish everyone to be happy in their ways, too.

Sincerely, Jifry

SweetSouthrnGrl 45F

11/2/2005 7:49 am


Thank for your reply and the thoughtfulness behind it. It was not your profile that caused such a rush of venom (very unlike my normal easy-going self). I was offended by this member's total lack of compassion and loathing for someone he doesn't know. I can respect the fact that people have different tastes and desires, as I myself have them. I tend to enjoy men who built like a offensive know the kind...big shoulders, massive arms, strong hands, thick muscular legs and let's not forget the broad chest. However, I would never post in my profile something degrading and unkind to the guys of smaller stature. I guess some of us have more 'home-training' than others.

I have to say...the word you used 'zaftig' is one I haven't heard recently. There are two meanings...full and shapely figure or slightly fat. You can ask 100 different people their opinions on this subject and get 100 different answers. That is what makes life fun.

Again, thank you for your reply and I understand everyone has their personal preferences and wish all the most sincere sucess in finding what they are seeking. I just wish some would do it with just a little more tact than they do.

Jifry 54M

11/2/2005 11:55 am

Dear SweetSouthrnGrl,

Thank you for responding to my post, I am glad that I wasn't the offender who boiled your blood last month.

Do you remember the passage in question from the profile? I know I might be asking you to repeat a trauma to do this, but when you say the person's profile demonstrated "a lack of compassion and loathing for someone he doesn't know" it sounds to me like he is dancing near the edge of what's acceptable for the site adminstrators. I don't think AdultFriendFinder's minders tolerate homophobia or racism in profiles, if the author of crosses the line from expressing a preference to hatred, it should be stopped. We don't need that kind of garbage in this space and I would urge you to pass the trash for official consideration.

I thank you for indulging the ambiguity I intended with the Z word, which in Yiddish means "juicy." A very close friend uses this to describe herself, forgive me if I could only guess if it did or did not apply to you. My colleague's yoga practice, BTW, is much deeper than mine, it is always entertaining to watch a new class watch her unanticipated grace and dexterity in motion.

Thank you again for having this space open, your thoughtful contributions, and your indulgence of writers with a reckless thesaurus.

thick021 49M
1 post
1/7/2006 5:39 am

Just because he doesnt like larger women doesnt make him bad w all have our preferences and his is thin women no big deal. God made us all different for that very reason

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