Marriage Woes  

SweetNSideU 60M
13 posts
3/18/2005 8:04 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Marriage Woes

I'm sitting here thinking to myself "why am I doing this?", it could potentially ruin my marriage. I am so much more sexual than my wife, who has some big hang-ups but whom I love. We haven't had sex in months and masturbating is boring.
She thinks that sex is an invasion of her self, that males don't actually belong inside females. She thinks that all we want is sex, and some do.

But as for me it is as much a spirtiual thing as a carnal. The touching and the closeness, the intimacy and oneness of sex are so wonderful.
I love sex, I love seeing a woman pleased, I love tasting her, moving in her and her around me. I love to please a woman, it is so sensual.

Sex for me is a part of everyday life, it is one of the ways two people express intimacy and love for one another. Although now that I am on this website I am looking for a partner just for sex and if we become friends so much the better.

But I need the touch of a woman, it is ingrained in me, not some animal instinct that I must fulfill, but the love of the pleasure that two people can create together, which in today's world there is so little of.

There is my quandry, I love this woman but touching is not her, now I am a seeker trapped by love but needing more.

dcos 57M

3/18/2005 9:05 am

Birds of a feather..... In the same situation ...nothing is worse than teh feeeling that you just forced your wife to have sex when she really didnt want to ...... tantamount to in some states...... in teh same boat the emoptional need to be close is so overpowering that you have to gain some outlet..... I am almost to the point where so what if i get caught...she wont discuss the problem.... wont change the situation....... and the desire to feel a womans body responding to the pleasure you hope to give her is overwhelming.....

sportyfun56 107M

3/18/2005 9:19 am

wow, that almost sounds too familiar. My wife is not as turned off as your wife is to "male invasion" but she sure does have some ingrained hangups that prevent me from even suggesting anything more than the vanilla. I only get to give her oral about 3 or 4 times a year because of some of her hangups.
But like you I do love her and I know she loves me. I just want more from sex than I'm ever going to get. And like you I do believe sex is not just "getting your rocks off" but is an act of intimate communication between you and your lady. Hence, some of my frustration, because I rarely get to finish "saying" all I want to say to her during sex.

I don't know what to tell you short of, have you tried to get her to a sex counsellor? I have a feeling I know what you'd say. You can't even ask her that probably.
good luck, and I hope you/I find a satisfactory solution to our problem.

ReadyToTango46 59M
161 posts
3/18/2005 10:52 am

This sounds strikingly familiar. Except after over 5 years of being completely cut off from all intimate physical and emotional contact, I no longer love my wife. The situation that you are in is not a loving relationship, nor is it a marraige. What is there to ruin? I have my reasons for staying married, but what are yours?

You are in the "maybe there's still hope" phase. Give it a few years and see how you feel about it.

Sorry for the tone of this message, but your post hit a sore spot for me.

splinkee 33F

3/18/2005 1:13 pm

Does your wife know how you're feeling? Would things chage if she knew you're ready to look outside your marraige for sex??

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