Things Your Girlfriend Will Never Say...  

SweetLoadInKC 47M
1971 posts
8/12/2006 5:32 am

Last Read:
8/15/2006 4:22 am

Things Your Girlfriend Will Never Say...


You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper, too! I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one!

While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

Bar food again!? Kick ass.

I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?

It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

Honey come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass!

My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, you big silly guy!

You are so much smarter than my father.

If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

You're so sexy when you're hung over.

I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

Let's subscribe to Hustler, my treat.

I'll be out painting the house.

I love it when you ride your muscle car; I just wish you had more time to ride.

Honey, our new neighbor's 18-year-old daughter is sunbathing in the nude again, come see!

No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

Your mother is way better than mine.

Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you take time off to relax?

You need your sleep, you big silly guy, now stop getting up for the baby's night feedings.

Look! My ass is fatter than yours!

rm_iwannatellu 46F
933 posts
8/12/2006 6:08 am

ROTFLMAO!


angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
8/12/2006 6:18 am

You are right! lol


big_brown_eyes4 46F  
154 posts
8/12/2006 3:22 pm

Love it!


JuicyBBW1001 56F

8/12/2006 6:09 pm

this girlfriend thinks you need to get laid soon.

Juicy


SweetLoadInKC 47M

8/12/2006 8:00 pm

Talk to the person above you.... she's the one I'm actively pursuing.


JuicyBBW1001 56F

8/13/2006 5:04 am

Ok I will big brown eyes please meet Sweet he is a good man with a naughty side thrown in for good measure. I think once you work out the kinks in his armour he might make a good friend with benefits. Yes sweet you have kinks in your armour but nothing that can't be fixed with a little patience and understanding.

Juicy


SweetLoadInKC 47M

8/13/2006 7:49 am

Never claimed to be perfect darlin'

Actually we met this morning after my bike ride..... didn't get to "meet" but maybe sometime soon.


JuicyBBW1001 56F

8/14/2006 5:40 pm

Well slow and steady wins the race grasshopper just be patient and when the time is right you will get your wishes.

Juicy


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