Real World Moment ...  

SweetDarlinAngel 41F
2088 posts
4/14/2006 1:07 pm

Last Read:
5/5/2006 9:03 am

Real World Moment ...

Life has hit me full force right in the nose. I think it hit hard enough to leave me with a nose bleed this time around, but I've managed to shake it off and square my shoulders and smile right back. Perhaps it is my ever abundant need to stay optimistic, or perhaps, it is just my way of saying "Bring it on! You call this a storm?" Either way, I'm glad that I can still log onto the internet, find my way back to the site and rest in comfort knowing that even for it's drama, ups and downs, and nasty little spats, nothing really changes here. I can still open up and be myself, vent a little or a lot, and in the end someone out there will drop a word or two sometimes even a sentence of encouragement. Now, to all of those who have wondered where I went for two months, those who thought me to be completely rude and even those who really didn't / don't give a shit, I feel I owe an explanation of my absence. So here goes ...

The end of January came with a wonderful little gift of a computer virus and massive construction on my block that threw out my internet, home phone line and cable TV. Never fear, for all those boob-toobers out there, TV was restored intermittently as a priority over internet and phone service. Heaven forbid anyone miss the Thursday night line-up. Needless to say, by the time a couple of weeks had rolled by with no internet connection, I was less a month away from my wedding to Alice, my house was in the midst of refinancing, a friend was flying in from out of the country to meet me in less than two weeks and I was still woefully unemployed. At that point, internet troubles were the least of my worries.

I spent my mornings making phone calls and setting appointments for the wedding, rehersal, and refinance issues and my afternoons trying to juggle my appointments and my 4 children. Meanwhile, I was trying desperately to find the time to look for a job, let alone interview for one. By the time my friend got to town, I was then juggling the refinance, wedding planning, children, rehersal planning, upcoming trip to see my Goddess, and of course still worried about that job when Alice finally said "Honey, why don't you just wait until after the wedding to look for a job. I think that will put less stress on you." THANK GOD!!! At least something was able to give way!

By the time my friend left to go back home, he felt that he had been dragged through a whirlwind version of American life on fast-forward. Poor guy! I was breathless, and still had a trip to Kentucky, my wedding in two weeks, a honeymoon to plan, a family vacation to plan immediately afterward, and travel arragements for my bridemaid to make, not mention the last minute details of my wedding and the plans for the rehersal dinner. So breathing deeply ... I dive back into my life wondering why my stove is collecting dust. Oh yeah, I haven't used it in almost a month. My family has lived off of fast food and dining out for almost every meal for 3 weeks. I may not even fit into my dress by the time I get married. I think my house is still located somewhere under all of the laundry that I haven't done in 2 weeks, and if I could just manage to stay home for more than 15 minutes after I wake up and before I go to bed, I might actually get a chance to relax.

My children cry because they miss playing with thier hamsters and dogs. I think we spend an average of 4 hours each night in the truck after we pick them up at 6PM from day care. Stumble them through thier showers, and bedtime rituals and off to sleep they go. My 9 year old is using recess to nap because he is so tired all the time. My 2 and 3 year olds are sleeping for 4-5 hours after lunch and my 4 year sends himself to bed after he's done eating lunch and dinner because he needs rest. Everyone is excited about the wedding and getting married and then going to Disneyland, but the cost of getting through it is tremendous. I haven't had sex regularly for a month because we don't have time. We'd love to find some time for it, but by the time we are home and in bed we are both so exhausted and wiped out we are asleep before either one of us can even mention the word.

Finally, chaos erupts, the house refinance almost falls through, I have to cancel my trip to KY just to get my bridemaid here for the wedding, the girls dresses aren't being tailored properly, my father keeps flaking out on me for the rehersal dinner, the picture times, fittings, I am about to loose my mind!!!!!! When my Goddess steps out of the airline tunnel like an angel of divine mercy. I hugged her so tightly I almost knocked her down, practically jumped for joy at the sight of her, and couldn't stop smiling when she was near me. All was going to be okay now. Mandy would fix everything.

She did. She calmed me, handled Alice's demands and told her when to leave me alone, took care of all the little things, snapped people into place, took the phone away when I got to frazzled and just seemed to make it all better. Ahhhhhh...
My Goddess, my wonderful worship worthy Goddess. I was married on Saturday March 11th, 2006. My wedding was beautiful, I could have stopped traffic, my girls were breath-taking, the men all looked like studs right from GQ magazine. It rained like mad for my wedding, but that is okay, it is supposed to be good luck. We danced, we laughed, we had great fun. Mandy saved my wedding and my sanity. My kids were absolutely adorable, they fell in love with her while she was here, and ask about her all the time. We all miss her. I can't wait to see her again. I miss her already.

After the wedding, we went on our honeymoon. Three days in Las Vegas! That was fun, a whirlwind honeymoon that was all about us. The first time Alice and I have ever spent alone, just the two of us. Then we flew home and two hours later loaded up the kids into the truck, threw all the luggage in the back and headed toward L.A. and the wonderful land of Disney. We spent 5 days there with all 4 of the kids. It was great fun, exhausting, expensive, but fun. When we got back it was already March 19th. So here I was back home, exhausted with only the day to recover. Then it was time to clean up the mess. I spent the next week cleaning up my house and going through the wedding gifts and sending out thank you cards, trying to get my house to look like my house again. But good grief I was feeling sick. I went to the doctor that Wednesday, March 26th and found out I was pregnant. WTF!

So, I schedule an appointment to have my IUD taken out, since that obviously didn't do it's job! Now I am forced to figure out how the hell I am going to explain to my lesbian partner (that I just married two weeks ago) that I am knocked up. She knows I have an IUD, she knows I also have the 5 year norplant implant that prevents pregnancy. So considering that we would have to have both of these things removed to have the children she wanted, she is going to be a little confused. My mother calls, "Guess what!?! Your brother finally got terminal leave, he's comin' home this weekend for good. He's done with the Marine Corp." I should be estatic, my brother, my best friend is coming home. Instead, I am wondering how to break the news to my new spouse and my brother. I better start thinking fast. Maybe I should just change my views on abortion. After some serious contemplation, a little hesistation I decided to break the news to my brother first. Let him help me decide what to do. Together we came up with a plan that would keep me sane, let Alice maintain her dignity, and not destroy my marriage, and that we could all live with.

So, on April 1st (great day to tell your lesbian spouse your pregnant by the way) I told Alice I was pregnant. That I had gone down to a fertilation clinic in late January had my IUD and norplant removed, then was inseminated on February 13th. I chose these dates because they were dates I could get away with being away from her and not needing an explanation of my whereabouts. I did it as a surprise for her, I chose a donor with similar features to her family heritage, light eyes, brown hair, high IQ. The donor was a Computer Technician. She was thrilled. I almost fainted. I couldn't believe it worked. I had an affair, got pregnant, lied about the conception, and my spouse ate up every word of it and is thrilled. Since then, we have been purchasing baby furniture, books, toys and anything else we possibly can before knowing the sex of the baby. She is so excited she keeps "slipping" the secret to friends and family. We were going to keep it to ourselves until the third month. Yeah good luck with that.

Now, I am 11 weeks pregnant according to my OB appointment yesterday. No one would know I was pregnant to look at me, and I am not saying a word. At least not after this post. I am still me. Horny, sexy, provocative, erotic ... just a little different.


digdug41 50M

4/14/2006 4:34 pm

hey darlin we talk and i am surprised that you posted this I am also happy that you got it out of your system I hope that all this works out for you, you know I love ya you. hang in there and do the best you can with everything and I am here if you need to talk you got my digits call me, have a good weekend and happy easter dont binge on the kids candy now or else peeps will be able to tell sooner than you wanted them to know lol cya later

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

SweetDarlinAngel replies on 4/17/2006 5:05 pm:
Binge on candy? c'mon now that was plan all along! Blame the Easter candy! lol j/k I thank you for all of the times you have been there for me to talk to and vent to and all the near melt downs you have steered me through. You are a true friend, a knight to my distress and I owe so much of my sanity to you.

thank you

warmandsexy52 66M
13164 posts
4/14/2006 8:25 pm

Angel, what a whirlwind! I'm so glad the wedding was wonderful and that you are both so pleased preparing for the arrival of your baby. Wishing you calmer waters ahead and much happiness.

warm xx

SweetDarlinAngel replies on 4/17/2006 5:06 pm:
it's my "reality on tilt" right? my own sense of excitement. thank you for the warm wishes.

bedroomice2003 45M

4/14/2006 11:06 pm

The Angel has an angel of her own watching over her, it seems. I hope things begin to settle down for you and I'm watching out for you, as any friend should.

Both an IUD and a Norplant and you still get pregnant? That boy must have super sperm!

SweetDarlinAngel replies on 4/17/2006 5:12 pm:
Super Sperm! Able to conquer any form of medical nonsense put in it's path. Super Sperm! Able to swim against all odds. Super Sperm! Able to control the mind of the man it embodies. Super Sperm! Causes obsession in the women it enters. Super Sperm!

Caution: Super Sperm may be harmful to senior citizens and small animals. Use with extreme caution.

Why yes, I think it was "Super Sperm"!

How did you know?

beewulf9 39M

4/15/2006 9:40 am


SweetDarlinAngel replies on 4/17/2006 5:12 pm:
thank you, as always you are more kind to me than I deserve.

gypsy1629 42F

4/17/2006 10:50 am

Almost through the whole post I was feeling sorry for you yet joyful cause of all the good things to come from all your hard work...and then at the end you say you cheated and then lied cause when you cheated you got pregnant....I, myself, could not live a lie such as that...what of the child?....will you ever tell him/her they have a father out there that you actually met?...Does the man resemble your partner at all?...will she catch on?...will the father ever know of his child?...all those would weigh me down.....I mean no offense towards you and your decision...I just figured I would be honest with you....I will look at you no differently...I will still read your blog....good luck and yes, congratulations on the wedding.


SweetDarlinAngel replies on 4/17/2006 5:20 pm:
Beleive me gypsy, I have never been one to hide my indescretions to my fiance (now spouse) since joining AdultFriendFinder. I have always tried to at least be diplomatic. Don't do anything that would ever get back to her. Never jeopardize my relationship with her, above all make sure anything I develop on here is clearly a friends with benefits only relationship. I don't ever want to come across as someone who needs to be viewed as pitied for the events that got myself into. I know I stepped right from my somewhat sticky lifestyle right into a whole entire lake of glue. I just can't believe that I was so profoundly loved and lucky enough to be with some who would beleive the story that my brother and I came up with regarding the pregnancy. I was dumbfounded. Not proud by any means. I didn't intend to come across that way. I suppose it was more, how could I be so unlucky and lucky at the same time. Maybe the baby was meant to be. But those thoughts were far too deep for a quick and dirty update on the reality of my life. So I just skimmed and skimped and tried to give my glimpse as best I could. Thank you for being so honest in your reply. I appreciate that. I respect it. It makes me feel like there are real people out there just like me, not every one is out to try and make one another feel good, but to actually be real. I like that. So thanks, and I hope you do it more often.

GleesFlakyShawl 51M
1620 posts
4/17/2006 12:55 pm

well, congratulations, hope everything goes well.....

and u said "I couldn't believe it worked. I had an affair, got pregnant, lied about the conception, and my spouse ate up every word of it and is thrilled" ... i was sure this only happened with men.... i keep on learning things.....

second pregnancy in blogland in less than one month....whats going on?

SweetDarlinAngel replies on 4/17/2006 5:23 pm:
haven't you learned by now that I have no idea what goes on in blogland unless you keep updated? So I'm not the only one huh? Well if I was trying to maintain a trend, this would be the bandwagon I would jump on I can tell you that much! lol.

I'm glad you stopped by to give your opinion, maybe you question it a little more in the tattler, there may be something to this, a fugitive on the loose, knocking up the cute, erotic girls on the site. Well, maybe not ...

rm_FreeLove999 48F
16127 posts
4/19/2006 7:48 am

whew! well, i must admit i'm glad, cos i'm not so lonely here anymore. Congratulations and hope everything goes well! what's your due date? i'm 14 weeks pregnant.

[blog freelove999]

SweetDarlinAngel replies on 4/19/2006 9:30 am:
November 8th according to the doctor those fall babies!

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