Sometimes....  

SuzieQ4U60 62F
283 posts
7/31/2006 7:24 pm

Last Read:
8/9/2006 7:27 pm

Sometimes....


Sometimes we want
to fold up our dreams
and put them away.
Then from somewhere inside,
there comes a song of courage
and we know we can
never give up.


Ever felt like giving up? Ever felt like just packing it in and walking away, never to be seen or heard from again? God, I know I have. I sure as hell have.

I feel like that tonight.

I try to have faith, and hope.
I honestly do try.

I'm tired of crying.
I'm tired of feeling inadequate.
I'm tired of finding out someone thought something about me, and they just didn't wait long enough to find out the truth.
I'm tired of people assuming about me, and not even asking me about it, they just assume.

But still, I haven't given up.

Why, I have no earthly idea.

I am feeling very low tonight, and wonder why I am even here.

I needed, earlier, to hear the voice of someone that loves me. I called my dad. He does love me. And was really happy to hear from me. He worries about me. Wishes I was closer to him. Wishes he could do something to make things better for me. But at the same time, he knows I have to do all this on my own. He is in fair health, but I don't think I will have him much longer, and I will surely miss him. I remember when he was my age. And before I know it, I will be his.

One day... it will happen for me. One day.
One day, someone will look at me, and know in their hearts I am the one they have been looking for. They will just feel it. And know it.

Maybe thats what keeps me from giving up.


wistfuljester 65M

7/31/2006 7:42 pm

I hope so, Suz--for you and me both.

Reading about your dad reminded me how much mine was always there for me. He lived to be 80, and he died the night before 9/11. I miss him a lot.

I've often said that he was the only one who I ever felt actually loved me unconditionally (well, his parents did too, but they've been gone since 1970)


SuzieQ4U60 62F

8/1/2006 1:29 am

Wistful...

Thanks for your comment.......

Wish I could hug you right now. Hugs are so good for the soul.

Suz


amoldenough 71F
16436 posts
8/1/2006 4:59 pm

Suz-I want to give you a big hug so badly. I know what you are going through, I think. Some of it anyway. I have just made one of the most difficult decisions of my life. Even harder than deciding to leave my husband. The pain was unbearable. I felt like my heart was breaking. Please email me here if you would like a friend to talk to, and I will give you my home email. I am very sincere about this. Maddy

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."


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