The One Time  

SunneyOne 45F
2146 posts
11/13/2005 12:14 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The One Time

The one time I go to the grocery store without getting cute first, it backfires. Drat. For those unaware, the grocery store is a prime place to meet singles over 30. Don’t ask me why, I’m not sure. Everyone’s got to get groceries, and you can tell a lot about someone by what they’ve got in their cart. Plus, it’s easy to strike up a conversation over some produce. Because of this, I am usually careful to go to the store after work, while still in cute clothes, hair brushed, makeup on. I am not one of those who run in all sweaty with my hair a mess looking like I just had to have something right that second.


Today, I am hungry. I want some sushi and some mint chocolate chip ice cream. Noooo, not together, that’s nasty. Anyway, it’s Sunday afternoon, so it won’t hurt to make a quick dash.

I’ve showered, at least. But my hair is in a ponytail and knotted, no make up, and I don’t even bother to put cute shorts on. I go with the navy Disney shorts and old Pooh t-shirt, with the little hole in one sleeve. Nice.

So of COURSE this is the day, the ONE TIME, when someone cute actually ends up in line next to me. He’s got great calves, amazing hands, and freckles over his nose that knock me out. On top of that, he has interesting groceries. Tomatoes, ground beef, capers, onion, olive oil, olives, mushrooms, heavy cream and manly beer. For godsakes!! I can make a conversation out of that! I can invite myself to dinner practically. But noooo, not today, ‘cause I look like I had to have my mint chocolate chip.

I’m hiding my face, trying not to stare at his nice legs, when of all days, this is the ONE TIME that said cute man in line speaks to me, instead of the other way around. “Hey, that sushi looks good. What’s in it?” I’m so all talk. I’m so full of bravado and swagger. When it comes down to it, I stutter. “Uhm, it’s got this white creamy sauce that’s spicy. Don’t know what it is, but it’s spicy but not mayonnaise. And orange spicy stuff, with crunchy almonds in it, and stuff, avocadoes, tuna, sushi stuff. Spicy.”

(banging head on hand) Could I have said “spicy” one more time? Still, said male persists. “But what’s in the sushi? Is it a Cali roll? I love sushi.” Of all the catchy things I could have said, I mustered a “I don’t know really, but it’s good, spicy.” Meanwhile, I’m giving myself a sound mental beating, trying to force something intelligent out of my mouth, but nothing happens. Still, very cute nice-legged male tries one last time. “Oh, and you got the seaweed salad. That’s good stuff too.”

“Right, I like it. Spicy.”

For the love of God. I slunk out of there like a whipped dog, trying to hide as fast as possible in my car. My spicy car. All of this because today is the one time I go unprepared, not on my “game”. Never again, grocery store man. Next time I will have my lip gloss on and be ready to describe my sushi as something other than spicy. Drat.

(And just so we know... these words I WOULD HAVE used are not in the mood description: spicy, foolish, ignorant, verklempt, stupid, unprepared or idiotic. So I'm protesting and not picking a mood.)

(Juan S)
2642 posts
11/14/2005 12:39 am

...and I thought it was just me, that couldn't think of anything to say on those off days when I'm just simply not prepared or awestruck...

rm_TWAdam 54M
35 posts
11/14/2005 7:09 am

That reminds me of a day about three weeks ago. I'm at the grocery store, shorts, tank top and a hat on, not looking my best. I turn the corner of an aisle and nearly slam my cart into a very hot looking woman. It's the detergent aisle and I am trying to think of something witty to say. What comes out of my mouth? "Excuse me, what's the difference between the store brand bleach and Clorox?"...Dumb...I couldn't have waited until we were near the meat section where I could've asked her opinion of what might go good with a pork roast or something. I felt like an idiot, but she was nice and explained that bleach is bleach (which of course I know) and then told me I could get a better bargain on bleach at Big

SunneyOne 45F

11/14/2005 9:14 am

At least you didn't say it's spicy.

rm_TWAdam 54M
35 posts
11/14/2005 10:24 am

That's true. But that actually would have been funny. Especially since I was asking about

SassyBoyBlue 67M

11/14/2005 1:04 pm

I'm going for a head of lettuce and a dozen tropical fruit this evenning.....after hours.......

Greenguy96 44M

11/14/2005 6:27 pm

but ummm the super market, I always run in get what I want and try to fight all the soccer moms cutting me off the check out like. I'll have to start to look out for cute girls.......So, where do you go shopping

SunneyOne 45F

11/15/2005 3:52 am

Greenguy... if you do that lil pose, you can shop in my refrigerator.

OMGnoHandlesLeft 43M
2 posts
11/15/2005 11:35 pm

Sorry, I just had to respond to your thread.

I love to view women stripped down, (i.e. without makeup) it allows me to see their true beauty.

Allow me to break down the way I would have analized you at the store.

Disney clothing --- sheds light on your chilhood your still attached to.
Whole in shirt --- tells me you are confident with yourself enough to wear a holy shirt in public and perhaps a carefree attitude may accompany your personality too.
Sushi --- you are almost certainly a meat eater.
Chocolate chip mint ice cream --- as long as it wasn't "sugarfree" it would add credence to my carefree assumption about your appearence.
And by the way, I love love when women pull their hair back in a pony-tail. (natural is ALWAYS better)

I understand my assumptions about you are obviously incorrect but this is the data I would upload if I had seen you at that particular visit to the store, which to me is very hot.

Parting shot, Mr. Calves didn't stray away from your appearence, you did.

SunneyOne 45F

11/16/2005 5:44 am

OMG - Actually, you're pretty much right in your assumptions. Sugar free ice cream? What's the point of that? Ew. It isn't so much a matter of straying from my appearance as it is that I talk a big game, but when actually face to face with someone I am terribly attracted to, I'm a stumbling fool. So much for my smooth and suave facade.

CaboWaboVHnut 57M
637 posts
11/20/2005 7:19 pm

Why is it that we always know what to say before, or after, meeting someone, but at the actual moment.........ddduuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh, we sound like the bashful buzzard in an old Looney Tune ???!!!

Duh, nope,nope,nope,nope, not gonna do it, yu can't make me talk right, yu just can't do it !!! Ah, such is life !!! Enjoy !!! Cabo-duh.....not gonna say Ablo !!! Nope, nope, nope, yu can't make me do it, nope, nope !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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