An Open Letter to UPS  

SunneyOne 45F
2146 posts
3/6/2006 5:27 pm

Last Read:
3/16/2006 6:12 pm

An Open Letter to UPS


I am writing to thank you for your job requirements for drivers and your impeccable hiring of same. It never fails that your drivers are quite hunky, hot, cute and genuinely sweet. I’m not sure who leaked it, but I ran across your requirements for the driver position (he he he… I said “position”. Please correct me if I am wrong, but they are as follows:

Driver Requirements:
Generally male, though not necessarily so. For the purposes of this listing, male.
Between the ages of 25 to 45.
5’8” at least. Weight proportionate.
Conservative hair cut, though slightly trendy is acceptable.
Hot. Hot hot hot hot.
Friendly, sweet, and with a good memory for office staff names.
Amazing legs.
Ripped arms.
Strong shoulders.
Looks hot in brown.

You ask, what can Brown do for me. I’ll tell you what brown can do for me. You can start by making a Men of UPS calendar. There are at least 12 hot ones in every major city, so it shouldn’t be a problem to come up with 12 from the U.S. in general. Your drivers could sell them on their route to help keep the cost of packages down. (he he he, I said “packages”.) Please put the driver’s first name and route city along with some bit of pervy information.

If Brown wants to really do something for me, please send me an available (read: single) driver to be my own personal delivery man. I’ll take care of the package.

Thank you for your professional courtesy in this regard.

(Sent via UPS Red, just to see the driver)

CantonOhCouple 61M/61F
553 posts
3/6/2006 7:09 pm

You are SO right on this. Wonder how that works out. Does Fedex know?

hereforyou6217 44M
912 posts
3/6/2006 7:41 pm

Hm. I'm going to have to start digging around to see if I can get a hold of a UPS uniform.

Though I'm not 5'8"... hope that's not a problem.

As for the package? I'm very confident you'll be able to take care of it quite nicely.

rm_VoodooGuru1 50M
2053 posts
3/6/2006 8:26 pm

Well of course UPS is going to have their best delivery guys around their hometown.

SunneyOne 45F

3/7/2006 4:08 am

Canton - Uhm, no, I don't think FedEx has this one figured out yet. At least not in as sweeping a fashion as UPS does. Oh well.

Voodoo - I truly think it's everywhere. (nod nod)

hereforyou - heh... I can handle your package. Would that be overnight delivery?

hereforyou6217 44M
912 posts
3/7/2006 9:46 am

Heh-- that all depends on you. You know as well as I do I don't do express, so...

MyRealLoverOne 47M

3/8/2006 5:07 pm

want me to UPS you something???

SunneyOne 45F

3/8/2006 10:01 pm that's an idea... having people UPS me things over and over. Probably would get a bit silly, but..hmm....

MONA_14 31F

3/10/2006 11:31 am

I enjoyed reading your blog and wish to invite to be our Friends

Luv2Lick0466 51M

3/16/2006 6:46 am

What would the bears on bikes wearing their Jack Boots have to say about you an the UPS guy's? HUMMMM I won't tell them it'll be a secret
as always........ See Ya'

Become a member to create a blog