musings on this thing called love  

Straycatsetsuko 62F
96 posts
10/29/2005 6:00 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

musings on this thing called love


I went on this site looking for someone I could boink. A friend, someone I could talk to, and have sex with. I've never been the kind of woman to have a lot of men. I was looking for one. But I was counting on being *friends,* and got more than I bargained on.

It's so weird, I know 2 men, much alike, but very different. I get along with one, IM, at least, he'd be a friend, but the other....I got crept up on. I think he did, too. He's God knows where now, trying to make sense of it, and I'm sitting here, grabbing at the side of the cliff with my fingernails. Why the one man, and not the other? I wonder.

Is it all chemicals? Is it all synapse firings, and subliminal scents? Why does the day shift achiever fall in love with the night shift alcoholic?

And now, I contemplate the act of loving, and falling in love. I'm trying so hard to keep my wits about me, but I also just want to enjoy it. We have plenty of time for it to do what it's going to do. So, why not?

But it's so scary. I don't know that I can say the L word yet, even if that's what I'm feeling, but he means a lot to me. I miss his company.

One breath at a time. It's how I handled my divorce. One breath at a time, maybe I can do this.

lustmirror 64M
2897 posts
10/30/2005 12:55 am

whether its love, or love in the making, it probably should be a bit scary...like a roller coaster ride...if the ride doesn't take over a little, well...that would just be something else.
...wish I could remember it better, but there was a scene in the Steve Martin movie 'Parenthood', where his mother tells him about the roller coaster, as an analogy for life...it was my favorite part of the movie.


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