When I got married  

SpaceRangerNJ 56M
2357 posts
1/25/2006 11:39 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

When I got married

A post by LonelyWoman56, The eyes, started me thinking about how I decided to get married.

I am the analytical type. I believe I made the analytical choice when I married my wife.

There was a relationship there but I don't think it was true love. I was to naieve to know that at the time.

I was so happy that someone loved / cared for me just for me. She didn't need me to support her, to be her counselor, her finacial advisor, her social coordinator or be anything but just me. It was a first. I was always playing some role with other girlfriends. Once they no longer needed me for that purpose out I went like so much garbage.

Our engagement was a discussion, an agreement. Her situation demanded that she be able to plan for the future. It was all about her daughter. And so it has been ever since to a fault. But that is a different story.

So it was either commit or move on. I hadn't really thought about asking her to marry me. It was just the conclusion I came to when we discussed the future. Everything seemed to be in order. We got along. I got along with her daughter (that changed and has been a roller coaster ride but again, another story). Sex life was good. I didn't want to start over again. It had taken over 30 years to find a relationship this good.

So we decided to get married. Planned where we would live and so her daughter would start and stay in the same school system.

And the rest is over 11 years of history. There are a lot of issues in that history but that is for another post.

Now she is almost out of school. Big changes coming one way or another

It probably should have ended long ago but I don't like to give up, I don't like change, and I was scared.

I think I zigged when I should have zagged. Hindsight is 20 20 as they say.


Lonelywoman56 61F

1/25/2006 5:02 pm

My intuition tells me go for it and then my years of.. ... tell my intuition to tell me to run like hell.
I wish I could just feel my way through like I used to do before I poured 3 tons of concrete and rock around my heart and soul.

I hope you find the one who's eyes glow when they look at you.

Good luck friend.

SpaceRangerNJ 56M
4687 posts
1/25/2006 6:41 pm

"Run Like Hell", Walls around your heart and soul. Do we have a Pink Floyd reference here?
I built a wall from my emotions, but for other reasons. Trying not to be hurt by my peers growing up. Mr Popular I was not.
Thank you for your well wishes. Good luck to you as well me blogging friend.
You and I are by no means alone in our quest.
Great thing about the blogs.
Be Well,

SpaceRangerNJ 56M
4687 posts
1/26/2006 7:37 pm

Well, we aren't that good friends any more. And certainly aren't friends with benefits. We are friendly. No real arguements; mostly stress.

jadedbabe78 107F

1/27/2006 11:01 pm

I know the feeling. Although--I have yet to make it to the alter---I'm beginning to think I may never make it there, lol.

I don't like to give up, either. But a person can only take so much. Only so much of feeling alone and isolated even when there is someone else around. Only so much of the other person's wants and forgoing your own. It takes a toll and eats at you.

I couldn't do 11 yrs. Not like this. I would wither up and die.

And hey, want to hear my engagement story?? He handed me the box and said "Here's your birthday present early, are ya happy now? " That is no lie, lol.

The stuff a girl dreams about, LOL.

Hang in there and it will all work itself out how it is suppose to.

rm_Bct2Esi 52M/51F
1375 posts
1/28/2006 5:53 pm


SpaceRangerNJ 56M
4687 posts
1/28/2006 9:39 pm

jadedbabe78, first, I didn't even meet my wife until I was 30. You'll make it. You'll find your Papa Smurf.
Second, You said it, a person can only take so much. At times I do wither and die. But then I bounce back.
Third, Not the birthday you wanted eh? Hope you kicked him in the nuts. How rude.

Bct2Esi, thanks friend of Katey.


Become a member to create a blog