it's funny what can inspire a man...  

Sorceror07 55M
6063 posts
11/21/2005 9:22 am

Last Read:
5/26/2007 11:59 am

it's funny what can inspire a man...

I've read many blogs... many... and in reading one regarding a "report card" for men from Bella_ ( [blog bella_] ) additionally, much inspiration comes from _Safira 's philosophies, writings and poetry ( _safira ) i was inspired to create this blog...

i have recently had an epiphany... it's safe to assume that everyone is looking for lasting love, at least on some level. accepting that as a given let us explore the following. my hypothesis is that a lasting love is based upon compatibility most would accept this as fact, however... it goes beyond that... compatibility may be based upon acceptance.


we all know that no one is perfect... however... there are what? close to 6 billion people living on planet earth? more? less? there's still billions... SURELY there must be someone out there perfect for each one of us... however... in reality there probably isn't. because, even if there were... where the hell are they and how can you hook up with them? the logistics themselves can prevent it...


everyone has their flaws, habits, idiosyncrasies, weirdness, quirks and so on... question is, which ones can you accept and which ones can you not. when i was in my early 20's i came up with a saying... "accept it or except it" ...i didn't realize then that such a cynical expression can ever have any relevance to the subject I'm writing of... however, it seems so.

acceptance should be based upon your feelings about certain things, after all, it's not one sided... your potential partner in this is also going to do the same thing, we all do it... consciously, or unconsciously... better to do it on a conscious basis, this way you know it's done right... this way you both will know for a fact that you can deal with each other, co-habituate, marry or whatever without killing each other!

so *drum roll please* without further adieu... here it is... the ultimate prototype questionnaire/checklist for all of us bachelors (and bacheloretts)...just make the appropriate changes in the appropriate spots and feel free to tailor these questions to suit your individual needs and pet peeves:

The Questionnaire From Hell!!

1. how many times do you hit the snooze button when you wake up?
a. 0
b. 1-2
c. 3-5
d. no job... so i don't need no stinkin alarm clock!

2. do you squeeze the toothpaste from:
a. the bottom
b. the middle
c. i use a pump
d. i use fix-0-dent

3. do you clean around the house:
a. a little every day
b. hit everything thoroughly once a week
c. why don't we split it evenly, you take care of the vacuuming and kitchen, I'll do the bathrooms and laundry... anything else we can do together
d. my nickname is "felix ungar", you may think you're a neat-nick... but i think you are a slob.
e. my nickname is "pigpen" and we're going to need a maid.

4. how much bathroom & toiletry stuff do you own/use and how much room does it take up?
a. light---it fits into an overnight bag
b. medium---it fits into a suitcase
c. heavy---i need a steamer trunk for it all
d. ridiculous---I'll fill every bathroom in your house with it, and the spare bedroom too

5. can you cook? (know this first... with the proper resources, i can cook like emeril lagasse, mario battale and and enjoy cooking AND i work neat)
a. ok,... you cook and I'll clean
b. dude, stay out of my kitchen!
c. i prefer reservations for dinner
d. baby, you'll take macaroni and cheese, hamburger helper, frozen dinners and you'll like it!

6. how well do you maintain your car?
a. you mean you're not going to do it?
b. i keep it under warranty and take it in when it's supposed to go in
c. i love doing the mechanic thing, lets see what's under YOUR car's hood, buster!
d. i haven't changed or had my oil changed since i got it... 3 years ago.

7. which of these marilyn monroe song titles best describes you:
a. diamonds are a girl's best friend
b. happy birthday mr president

8. do you like to garden?
a. no, hire a gardner
b. i have a black thumb
c. i have a green thumb
d. if you cut the grass, I'll water and maintain the plants

9. describe your spending habits:
a. frugal
b. i use coupons
c. not as bad as ivona trump
d. ivona trump is a rank amateur compared to me!

10. describe your organizational skills:
a. i use a day-planner book
b. i use a calendar
c. i use post it notes
d. what are organizational skills?

11. describe your voting habits
a. i don't vote but i complain about the idiots running things
b. i vote my conscience
c. i vote on party lines
d. I'm an anarchist
e. I'm too apathetic to vote

12. describe how you'd redecorate my post-modern home, that is already decorated to my liking... modern minimalist.
a. looks good to me as is
b. your stuff is gone to storage, my stuff is in
c. we'll get rid of your stuff and I'll redecorate it because it needs a "woman's touch" we're going traditional.
d. first... all your walls are to be covered in wallpaper, then all that abstract modern art you've got all over the place is being replaced by....

13. when you travel, how much carry on & luggage do you take for a one week vacation trip?
a. only carry on my purse, one suitcase and an overnight is checked
b. for a week? 2 suitcases, 2 overnights, a hat case and a suit bag.
c. for a week? enough to go on safari!!
d. they need a luggage plane for my stuff

14. when you travel, how much shopping do you like to do?
a. I'll window shop and look at the neat stuff, but unless something really hits me, not much
b. UPS is my friend
c. i bring an empty suitcase for that
d. I'd rather be on the beach (or any other vacation activity) instead.

15. your favorite vacation spots are: (fill in the blank) _______________________.

16. retirement plans...
a. tropics?
b. or winter wonderland?
c. the desert?
d. temperate 4 seasons climate?

17. ok, you know I'm a musician, in a band, and not a band of cover song playing weekend warriors, but a serious working band that gigs out. do you understand what goes on with that? and the various "occupational hazards"?
a. yeah, sex & drugs & rock'n roll
b. yeah, on gig days, you leave early, load the van and truck up, cart everything over to the venue, unload it all, set it all up, sound check, set up the light show & test it out, double check, triple check, warm up on a few songs, eat dinner, wash up and change in a filthy bathroom, hang out until the show starts to watch the gear, perform the show, pack up everything,load up everything, drive home, unload everything back into the practice studio... then go to bed, at like 4am, totally exhausted.
c. don't you have roadies for that?
d. you're quitting the band to be with me, you just don't know it yet!

18. in reference to question 17, if your answer was A:
a. I'm cool with that
b. I'm coming to all your gigs, you need a babysitter.
c. don't you have roadies for that?
d. you're quitting the band for sure now

19. in reference to question 17, if your answer was B:
a. it was a lucky guess
b. i know the music business isn't very glamorous in reality.
c. it was the answer i was looking for because i don't want to think it was A
d. it was the answer you were looking for

20. in reference to question 17, if your answer was C or D:
a. oops! do i get a do over?
b. oops! sorry
c. you mean you really don't have roadies for that?
d. you're still quitting the band to be with me... or else!

21. in reference to questions 17 through 20, if your answer was D for two or more of them you do realize:
a. you've exceeded my acceptance level.
b. good luck in your search
c. you're still here? are you stalking me?
d. ok... now I'll call in the roadies

*remember guys & gals... tailor these questions to your personal situation, my advice is to keep things humorous, but you may do as you wish of course*

22. concerning recreational drug use:
a. once in a while is ok
b. once a week is ok
c. once is not enough
d. never is ok

23. concerning monogamy:
a. we gotta have it--i insist
b. you can have it, i don't want it
c. i can have it but you don't unless you wish
d. don't you want to swing?
e. does the name Lorena Bobbitt ring a bell?

24. concerning kinky:
a. sorry, lights out missionary only
b. bring it on!
c. kinky is as kinky does
d. um... what exactly IS in that doctor's bag of yours?

25. concerning frequency:
a. once a week
b. three or more times a week
c. every day and twice on sundays
d. i doubt you can keep up with me...

26. concerning BDSM:
a. no way jose!
b. lets try that out
c. hehe, you're in trouble now, little man...on your knees! *thwack!!*
d. um... what exactly IS in that doctor's bag of yours?
e. hmmm, your dungeon or mine?

27. concerning smoking:
a. don't worry, i do too
b. i don't, but you can
c. I'm not crazy about it, try not to do it too much around me
d. you're quitting, you just don't know it yet

28. concerning my friends:
a. your friends are my friends, and vice versa
b. I'll hang with them while you are with me
c. keep me away from those heathens!
d. you're getting rid of those disgusting creeps, you just don't know it yet

29. concerning your friends:
a. your friends are my friends, and vice versa
b. i can't trust them around you
c. i can't trust you around them
d. i can't wait to show you off to them

30. concerning time together:
a. whenever we have the time is ok with me
b. as much as you need
c. as much as i need
d. attached at the hip, 24/7 baby

31. concerning time together:
a. as our schedules permits is ok with me
b. 1-2 times a week
c. 3-4 times a week
d. every day of the week

32. concerning dining out:
a. I'm strictly a steak & potatoes gal
b. the more exotic the better
c. sushi? ewwwww!!!!
d. doesn't matter, it's the company I'm with that matters

33. what are your favorite types of foods: (fill in the blank) ____________________________.

34. how spicy can you handle your food?
a. mild
b. medium
c. hot
d. three mile island!

35. if a project or a fix-it needs to be done around the house, do you:
a. that don't befuddle me, i patiently wait until you have the time to do it.
b. do it yourself
c. stew in your juices until it's done
d. remind/nag/cajole until its done

36. what is your favorite color? (fill in the blank) _____________.

37. concerning foreplay:
a. 1-2 hours
b. 3-4 hours
c. 5-6 hours
d. a-c is good with me
e. don't hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself!

38. are you:
a. conservative
b. liberal
c. left wing
d. right wing
e. extremist, left or right

39. do you go to church/temple/synagogue/shrine etc.:
a. 1x per week
b. 2 or more times a week
c. once a month or less
d. 1-3 times a year or less

40. do i have to go with you?
a. yes
b. no
c. it would be nice if you did sometimes
d. I'm going to convert you from the error of your ways, you rock n' roll heathan! you just don't know it yet...

41. what are your favorite 4 flavors of music? (fill in the blank) _________________________.
...for example, classical, jazz, rock, classic rock, heavy metal and so on.

42. in your car, you listen to: (fill in the blank type of music)_______________. and the rule is:
a. you may change the station if a stale song comes on
b. don't touch that dial!
c. i prefer Cd's
d. commando radio buddy, I'll break your fingers!

43. which of the following 80's song titles describe you most:
a. girls just want to have fun (cindy lauper)
b. material girl (madonna)
c. hungry like the wolf (duran duran)
d. pour some sugar on me (def leopard)
e. goody two shoes (adam ant)

44. which mixed drink describes you most:
a. sloe gin fizz
b. extra dry martini
c. pina colada
d. bloody mary
e. i don't drink at all
f. none of the above (fill in the blank) _________.

45. what is your relationship style?
a. what ever will be will be
b. slow and easy: friends, then lovers then partners
c. smothering and possessive
d. co-dependent, obsessive & clingy
e. i will stalk you

46. concerning integrity:
a. i say what i mean, i mean what i say
b. if i say it, take it to the bank that's it's done
c. being able to change her mind is a woman's prerogative
d. I'm a pathological liar... no, I'm not, that's a lie!

47. concerning communication:
a. i will clearly communicate with you
b. I'll tell you what's on my mind
c. mystery is good, i like my man to be guessing
d. you're not a mind reader? what's with that?

48. concerning possessions:
a. i only have what i need
b. i like nice things
c. my home is cluttered
d. I'm a pack-rat

49. if your personality was a decor... what style would it be?
a. victorian
b. traditional
c. modern
d. art deco
e. none of the above (fill in the blank) __________________.

50. for dessert, choose one:
a. bananas foster
b. creme broule'
c. tiremisou
d. a sundae

now... here's the rub:

1. there's really only about 10-15 questions i'm really focusing on for quirks/flaws/attitudes i'm willing to live with or deal with. the rest is fun, fluff or distraction. tailor your questions accordingly as well. what are you willing to accept? not compromise, not settle for... but accept!

2. these questions are DESIGNED to communicate as well as to gather information. for example, the series of questions from 17 through 20 do exactly that. questions are designed to educate as well as to get information.

3. that in mind... the questions are also communicating what YOU are looking for and if the respondant is COMPLETELY HONEST with themself, as well as being honest with you, then they will know before you do whether or not they are right for you.

4. this is simply a blueprint... omit questions that are not relevant to your situation or personality, rework them to fit yourself. i didn't say it would be easy... just be honest with yourself and KNOW WHAT YOU WANT as well as what you don't want.

5. knowing EXACTLY what you want as well as knowing what you don't want is the cornerstone of happiness.

6. take your time... this took me one day of thought and two days of execution to do. and that may have been too hasty! make haste slowly, grasshopper

7. i wish you success!


photo icon is original artwork: Inspiration (spray can paint on 3 canvas panels) 2000
this is the largest work I've created... takes up an entire living room wall

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...

_Safira 54F
11260 posts
11/21/2005 2:43 pm

Dear Sorceror ~

Thanks ever much for the kudos. Your appreciation of my scribblings and skewed view on reality is, as always, greatly appreciated.

I believe you know all of my answers (hmmmmm ...) except for, perhaps, one or two:

#15. New Orleans, Las Vegas, Grand Tetons, Great Smokey Mountains, Isla Mujeres ... many, many places I want to go ... Florida being "key."

#44. f. sangria -- kind of fruity, kind of dry ... always refreshing, sometimes surprising

Good survey ... Thanks for filling-out mine!


This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.


rm_krystalklr 56F

11/23/2005 4:59 am

Having an epiphany is an ongoing process for most humans who are progressive. If we stop having epiphanies we are either stagnant or dead!

The philospohy accept it or except it is indeed very wise. Problem is if we as humans don't keep our hearts & emotions in check and "fall in love" we tend to attempt to accept things we ought rather except. Therein lies the problem of falling in love. Never should we feel we simply can't "live" without another person. If we get the that point really, the relationship is doomed.....if for no other reason because that is TOO heavy a weight for any person to bear.

The survey is great, quite only covers a certain period of specific time in a persons journey thru life. How we feel today if very likely not how we will feel in 5, 10 or 20 years from now. You yourself in your blogs have spoken of how you've found yourself after many many years of living your life the way you felt others thought you should live it. You have gone from that "angry young man" to a man who seems to be at peace with himself.

The question is do we change over time? We may not change the way we squeeze our toothpaste, but our life goals and dreams certainly do change. Also as relationships unfold they tend to either bring out our strengths or our weaknesses. How secure a person feels about himself/herself or about the relationship can affect how the 2 parties interact with each other. This diametrically does impact how a relationship unfolds. Some people may grow together, some may grow apart as changes occur in themselves and in their partners.

In other words....2 people may have perfect compatability when they meet...but time doesn't stand still and people do change.

My thought on lasting love is this ... no survey (although it is fun to learn these things about a person) will ensure a realtionship continues .... only time is the judge of all. What is compatable today may not be compatable tomorrow.

Rather, if we live life in the moment, enjoy each and every second we are given on this earth, spend time and energy on those people and things we love, the things that bring us joy we will have no regret. If I'm loving the person I'm with right now, what difference does it make how long it lasts? If I'm feeling fulfilled... special...if I can return those feelings to the other at any moment given in time isn't that really what life is about? A pleasant interaction with others, a building up of another person, a building up of yourself.

My thought is not to consider "how long" a love will last...but how much can we give to another person, can we make them feel special, intelligent, appreciated, cared for, yet free to live their life as they see fit. Can they also give us that in return? Once these things start to wane for whatever reason then your principle of accept or except should kick in.

The question is...when we see love start to slip thru our we have the courage to let it go?

duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
12/18/2005 2:02 pm

This is gonna take some time. I'll be back.

Not because I am trying to get your attention, because I just found your blogs, but because I like these types of questionairres.


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