Mired Mayhem, Madness and Malarky  

Somewherebound 42F
55 posts
4/14/2006 7:02 am

Last Read:
5/27/2006 9:09 am

Mired Mayhem, Madness and Malarky

(Let me state beforehand that I do not hate men and do not group them all together, all my aggravation comes from one said man and that is who I refer to. The rest of you are great in my book. I am also not a feminist. This story is not a rant. It was a morning I spent laughing quite hard.)

I have spent the morning waiting on a tow. I was completely foolish today. I decided to change the location of my honda without thinking clearly.

I had my sister with me so I was feeling safe within the confines of her estrogen and breasts that we could think logically. Above stated man decided to change front breaks on my car. He decided that he would just change the right front break pad and after he did so It was locked to the tire with no release. I told him first off you don't change just one at a time. If you do the front right you must follow up with the front left. He marched back outside feeling manly and did the left which in turn locked like the first.

All logic says that because they were working before and aren't now that it was something he did. This is a man who has no idea how to siphon a gas tank. In short he knows very little about cars. When the altenator needed fixed I did it. When the carborator needed fixed I did it.

So said car has been sitting for weeks at a friends house. My sister and I in all our glory decide that we shall move it. I am sure some of you already know whats coming. We get on the road make it less than a mile and smoke is pouring from the car like an indian signal fire. Sure enough The left front tire is now on fire. (because the breaks were locked and that causes friction and heat) I ran to the closest house to get some water. No one was home. To add salt into the open mockery of the situation as I was walking across the yard to return to the burning car I notice a kiddie pool....... empty. The fire finally burns out and we had towing on the way and we are sitting there laughing at our stupidity. But to make up for all my foolish ways I did in fact breakdance in the street and save a box turtle from certain doom.

While I was standing there I thought back to all the other times I have been mired, stranded, walking away from a broken down vechile.

The incident before this one was when said Man decided that he would in fact move two box springs to the new place on top of the van and tied them down with bungee cords. I did in fact warn him that this would only lead to a mattress ballet of destruction in the street. Did he listen. No. He is a man after all.

Crusing down the road as we approached the above mentioned house with the kiddie pool the inevitable happens. A nice loud SNAP and THUD of the bungee cord tells me that the mattress have just taken flight. Luckily the women behind us had fast reflexes. Regardless of my warnings and the embarassment he was feeling I was the one who got to sit on the side of the road (a busy one) with said box springs. I was there for an hour and a half. I found a tree made a tee-pee and hung my feet out. In my boredom I started putting myself in strange positions to see if anyone would stop and help. In retrospect I should have just laid down on them and taken a nap.

I broke down on a 7 mile bridge twice and did anyone stop? No! I look young, and at the time I looked about 14. I can only figure that people do not stop for little unassuming me because they figure I'm not old and enough to drive and such a bored kid that I like to walk bridges. I am 5'1" and 95 lbs. Not even perverts stopped. What is this world coming to if I can't even rely on the perverts?

dongle1965 53M  
5 posts
4/15/2006 9:14 am

Hey ... Funny story! I guess I can say that since we are laughing with you and not at you. Are you referring to the 7-Mile Bridge outside of Marathon on the way to Key West? If so, you might have been picked up if you were a boy ... seems to be a lot of that in the Keys . Anyway, glad you are safe and still seem to be going strong!!

Somewherebound replies on 5/7/2006 3:28 pm:
This was the bridge between daphne and fairhope in Alabama. And the man mentioned in my story is my ex-husband.

SirMounts 103M

4/21/2006 5:38 pm

I find your style of writing to be very fascinating and descriptive.
Welcome to the blogs, Somewherebound. *smiling*

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