Just one of many life lessons.  

156 posts
3/4/2006 7:32 pm

Last Read:
3/9/2006 5:28 pm

Just one of many life lessons.

While I don’t endorse divorce for exploration’s sake, this separation has certainly led me to do some interesting thinking.

After a particularly disappointing conversation with the ex, I gave some serious thought to my relationships, and my behavior in them. I discovered much to my…dismay… that I’ve typically been a pursuer in a relationship. It may not always start that way, but it’s typically been me who’s done the pursuing after the initial contact. I’ve always had a very bad habit ‒ though I didn’t know it was bad at the time ‒ of doing the lion’s share of the work, and making it entirely too easy for the men I’ve had in my life.

This was brought to the forefront of my mind on Valentine’s day ‒ when the only gift I received was from a very dear and very hot-for-me friend. He sent me lilies, my favorite. And I had to seriously stop and think about when the last time it was that a man had sent me flowers without actually having been in a committed relationship with me. Actually giving that some thought, I had to admit myself that I had never really been “courted”. Quite an eye opener for a lady twice divorced, with an additional 4 year live-in relationship in her life.

Looking at my life today, I realized that I still sorta revert to my previous habits. I’m typically the first one to send a message to someone when they come online. I’ll be the one who sends an email out of the blue. I’ll be the one who calls.

And I’m realizing (albeit slowly) that that’s not the way I want the rest of my life to go.

With my weight loss comes a self-confidence that I haven’t felt in many years. And with that confidence comes a reminder that ‒ hey, chick, you don’t have to do that. Let someone else take the wheel for a change.

How that’s going to impact my sex life, only the goddess knows. But considering I’ve been mostly celibate for the last 18 months, it’s only got to get better /wink.

rm_sender1955 62M
10 posts
3/5/2006 7:38 am

Hi just wanted to say was surfing a bit and found your blog did not read all of them just the lates post. I think we all are creatuers of habit. but you do have to take stock in yourself every so offen.Thanks oh and I think sex life will turn around give it time.

vrec_dawn 41M

3/5/2006 9:50 am

Ye gods, isn't it always amazing how often without even realizing or trying to we stick ourselves into the same cycles, over and over, until we finally learn our lessons. The way I figure it, even the worst of us still have something to offer. Without people there to fall into those bad cycles with, how would we ever learn?

So hey, you've started a spell of change. Embrace it. Decide what you want and make it happen. If I didn't know any better, I'd say there's some serious alignment of planets or something pushing change in a lot of people's lives.

Become a member to create a blog