Typical Monday! I know, I am late!  

SmoothOneAllMan 70M
134 posts
11/14/2005 5:41 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Typical Monday! I know, I am late!


You might know it is a Monday morning. I got balled up in some stuff at home this morning before I had to get ready and leave for work. Kept me tied up and I completely forgot to post on here. Also, the Monday question of the week is already to go, but it is at home and I am at work making this post. So, I will get it on here but will be a bit late. This afternoon around 2 or so, just be patient. It is a nice morning here in the triad, about 56 degrees this morning and clear. Really nice day for mid November. Later peeps!
Here it is:

Monday, November 14, late getting this up, but it is about 2:35pm and I am finally getting this done. Second week of the questions about how men and women can go so far down the wrong road in a relationship. Last week, my questions was about talking. I know for me, the problem was one of ego. I have a big problem with letting anyone get the upper hand on me. I hate the feeling of being at their mercy or discretion. I figure most of us are that way so to avoid feeling like that, we will do what it takes to avoid it. If we do, the consequences are often dire in their totality. In the case of my two failed marriages, the lack of discussion has led to impossible obstacles that just could not be over come. Now, at the same time I am admitting my failing, the current situation with my wife is one where she is very intransigent. Refusing to see any plan or direction that is contrary to her own idea of what must be. I have recently asked about starting the cleaning out of our garage and the disposal of certain items, such as two bicycles that she and I had plus the two that her daughters had growing up. Now, no one has ridden those bikes in the last 5 years, and not more than a handful of times in the last 10 years. They are sitting there with flat tires, and rusting. Her response was that the girls wanted to keep theirs and to leave hers alone but to do with mine whatever I pleased. The tone was determined and inflexible. Why she feels like that, I do not know. I can tell you that there is no way either of the 21year old girls is going to ride a bike anytime soon. Each has a car, one is engaged to be married in the spring and the other is just plain to lazy to ride a bike. The wife has not been on her bike for any reason in recent memory so what is with the decision to keep them as is? I believe it is to keep things as close to the way they have been for whatever purpose for however long.

So, second question:
Why is it that people in the middle of a separation/divorce process are so intransigent?

Is it not in the best interest of both parties to be as open to the required changes as possible? No, that is not the third question, it is an add-on to the one above. It is so frustrating to live with someone for so long and suddenly not have any common ground at all. The day she handed me the letter from her lawyer marked the last point in our relationship that she was willing to discuss with me. Although, I did get a question one evening this week concerning the car that she drives and that is in my name. Seems there is a warning light that comes on briefly at start-up that indicates a need for radiator coolant. But, it goes off soon after the engine is running. So, the question was, “is that a problem that needs attention?” My answer, no, I would not worry about it unless it stays on. The next question was, “so do you plan on doing any needed maintenance on the car?” My answer, no, I do not need the car and since it is mine, I can do as I please with it including nothing! She walked away and has not said anything about it since. Ok, I know I am being inflexible and that is not the way to get anywhere. But, I am feeling very isolated and alone in this thing. She has her family, friends that are on her side and they outnumber me 10:1. Being defensive is just my nature in situations like this. Could I be more willing to help her out? Sure! But will I? Absolutely NOT!

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