Needing a Hug  

SmartType 53F
560 posts
8/1/2006 6:52 pm

Last Read:
3/9/2007 7:28 pm

Needing a Hug

I have friend who is in the process of getting a divorce. Eleven years of marriage, of which the past several years have been empty. I spoke with him last night and one of the things he said made me sad and made me reflect on how important it is that we live with elements of happiness. He said he just needed a hug. That was it. And it sort of floored me that here was this guy I absolutely adored and thought so highly of was in a position where he was not getting hugs. Certainly he was getting them from his kids, but the realtionship with the wife was arctic as hell (if that's not an oxymoron..)

And I remember visiting my sister for christmas several years ago when she was (then) married and noticing how her and her ex-husband had absolutely no affection towards each other. No pat on the rear while cooking dinner, no brushing the arm to say "hey you're there", no exchanged smiles. Nothing. The next day we were fixing something in my neices room and a box fell and broke something and it didn't take two nanoseconds for the both of them to spit out something nasty and accusatory. I was floored. I actually told them both to knock it off, accidents happen. Get a fucking grip would you. As I was leaving for the airport I told my sister that I would never spend any more precious vacation time in such an evironment of negativity.

Anyway, I'm extending a cosmic hug to you readers (all four of you). Although I am single and never married, I hope that I conduct myself and my life in a manner that validates those who I choose to be around. I am grateful for the love that has been given to me and with all that I am blessed with. Yeah, I still want to win the lottery and lose those last three pounds and want to start Botox again (what a freaking waste of $$ that is). There is so much strife in the world, having it in your interpersonal relationships is just not worth it.

But I ramble. I have a dog and two cats who are entirely huggable and are pretty good on the reciprocity end.

rm_random613 56M
50 posts
8/2/2006 11:43 am

Well if there are only four of us; one of us had better write something before you get more cats and turn into a "cat lady". (I have always heard three was the limit).

Planning on seeing your soon to be divorced friend soon or waiting till all the paperwork is in order?

SmartType replies on 8/2/2006 4:05 pm:
Waiting until the paperwork is in order...

wilecoyote7056 61M

8/2/2006 4:49 pm

If you ever need a hug or more you know how to contact me, later


SmartType replies on 8/3/2006 1:53 am:
W, thanks so much. I don't need the hug, my friend does. But thanks for reading my blog.


rm_dacat582 59M

8/3/2006 11:42 am

I've seen couples when I'm out and about or at dinner that look almost like strangers together or sitting at a table not talking or looking at each other much less touching. I could'nt count how many times a day I hugged, smiled at, just touched, held hands, or told I loved her when my wife was alive.

SmartType replies on 8/3/2006 4:26 pm:
Dacat - it is a shame when we see couples not interacting with affection. My sister had neighbors several years back that had been married for over 45 years. Apparently one day the husband left the house for a grocery run and the wife, who had been talking to my sister, said - I can't believe he did that. My sister was, what? And she said, he left without giving me a kiss. and my sister said - well he's just going to the grocery store -it's five minutes away. The wife said - it's a rule we have whenever either one of us leaves the house. Well seconds later, the door opens and the husband walks in, grabs the wife, plants a kiss on her and then goes back out for groceries. You were very lucky to have what you did, and will hopefully get there again.

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