My Idle Hands  

SlimGoodGuy 39M
154 posts
9/7/2006 11:47 pm
My Idle Hands

I was just thinking about how they always say idle hands are the devil's tools. I just took my exam and now I play the waiting game again for a few weeks until the score comes in the mail. Until then, I essentially have nothing to do unless I want to start preparing for the next series of exams. By the way, if the results from this exam aren't good, my life is going to go through some MAJOR revisions.

The girlfriend is still far far away and I plan on seeing her in a couple of weeks, but I'm going crazy sitting here on my own. I don't know anyone in this damn town and there really isn't a lot to do out here in the middle of nowhere. I don't want to sit around and try to catch cabin fever. My idle hands are just dying to do something. I just don't know what that something is. There's a tiny voice in my head that pushes thoughts of what boils down to cheating. Then there's a part of me that would like to find someone around here to just wants to hang out and be close, but not that close. Is that even possible?

What do you do when you're in limbo like this?

My mind has also been obsessing about another issue. I do tend to be too critical most of the time. I'm that way with family, friends, my girlfriend, you name it. I place a lot of value in things that I guess most people don't. I speak up and they tune out. So I'm trying to find ways to change my thought pattern and catch myself before I step out of bounds. Essentially I want to be a better person. I know that even though sometimes I might be right, I owe it to myself to keep my mouth shut and avoid the stress that goes with wanting to discuss so many things. I know a lot of people feel you should try to change who you are, but I think I'll be much happier.

I think I'm going to go hang out at a few places in town on my own and just relax. Maybe someone will show up and take my mind off of things. Hopefully I won't look like the creepy guy sitting all alone.

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