Urgent Like a Mother f#@ker  

Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
3683 posts
8/3/2005 11:17 pm

Last Read:
12/13/2007 1:20 pm

Urgent Like a Mother f#@ker


One of my all time favorite movies is the film Love Jones featuring Nia Long and Larenz Tate. It is the story of a poet/writer who is putting together his first book (hmm) and the woman he falls in love with, a phoographer. In the film we go through the ups and downs of their relationships. The break ups that could have been solved with proper communication and less ego, Until finally they break up for a long period of time just to realize that For whatever time they had left on earth, whatever they had to do, it would be better to be together. The culmination of the film is Larenz, telling Nia that he apologizes for his part of the mistakes they both made.She replies"You always want what you want, when you want it" and presents the fact that they live in two different cities, that they haven't been together in a while, etc., etc., etc.Why are you in such a rush, what is so urgent? All of which Larenz replies that he doesn't care. but that this moment, this time, this place is all that matters to him. He is in Love with her and That's urgent like a Motherf#@ker.
It has been a line that has defined a large portion of my style for some time now. Why lie or play games or waste time, when you know what it is that you want? We have been conditioned to be cautious, because of pain and heartache many of us have had to endure. A learned behavior. To my downfall sometimes, I have been known to simply say what the heck is on my mind. My intentions, my thoughts, my plans. Everybody can't handle that type of honesty or forwardness.Most prefer a sometimes awkward standard of time, to get to know someone. Looking at the divorce rates of people that have been together for years and years. I question whether you truthfully ever REALLY know someone. The first four years of my marriage my ex-wife didn't even know that I knew how to swim. So do you dance like no one is watching and just jump into a relationship with someone. No, NO, NO. Never that, but do you seriously consider the possibilities and ask the type of questions that will make you comfortable in letting loose and being comfortable with that person? Hmmm. My question to all of you.
IF you know that you are starting to or that you sincerely care for someone, when do you tell them?

I'll be watching the answers on this real close. It's Urgent... Like a Motherf@#ker.

007sexy40plus 52F  
7603 posts
8/4/2005 5:48 am

Not right away. The worse mistake you can ever make is letting someone know how you feel about them too soon. They will either laugh in your face or start avoiding you, or treating you like shit especially if the feeling isn't mutual.

I have been there before and am talking from experience. If you can help it, let them be the first to tell. I know its hard to keep good feelings held inside, but in cases like this, you have to see some kind of sign that they are feeling you too.

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"


rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
8/4/2005 6:07 am

By the time that I get around to telling someone how I feel about them the majority of the time they tell me they already knew. I guess it's easier for me to "tell" them with my actions than with my words. I suppose it's a form of self-preservation, once you say it, it's out there and there's no turning back. Laugh, this probably wasn't a lot of help.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


pussnboots694 74M/79F

8/4/2005 6:26 am

Words left unspoken..
may be missed completely..
If you were to die tomorrow..
Would everyone important know how you feel..
deep inside..
If you die.. the words die with you..
All though you open yourself up to pain..or regection..
One can not make a decision..
On things that go unspoken
.. if they do not know..
...you will never know..
Within a warm embrace dear one..
Walk your path..
Strong and true..
If it is ment to be..
It will be..


angel_wings2005 53F

8/4/2005 8:15 am

OMG !!! ~~~ PUSS - you are WONDERFUL !!! I wish that sometimes I could put the feelings I have into words- but I have to say that you speak for alot of us !!!
Sizzle- I have been in that situation a couple of times-- really enjoying the time I share with a person, looking forward to the next time I see them - smiling when I see that they have send me an offline- heart skipping a beat when I see that it is them that is calling -- Yes I get "IT" bad-- But I have also been COMPLETELY honest- and told a person how I felt- because I needed to know if I was wasting my time- and it literally blew up in my face- they just wanted to be friends-(FWB!) after my heart gets involved- all bets are off-- I can't love just a little- it is 110% or nothing!!


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
8/4/2005 11:35 am

Straighten- Thank you for your comments and for visiting Sizzle's World.
The meaning of you stopping thru is not lost on me...


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
8/4/2005 11:38 am

On the contrary DaphneR...Your comments are very helpful. thanks for stopping through and make sure to visit often.


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
8/4/2005 11:47 am

Dang it Puss...Just when I decide to Martyr myself and travel down the path of "Real Men", by quietly keeping all of my thoughts locked up inside of my head, you go and remind me of the very simple and straightforward...TRUTH. I tell my kids daily, several times a day that I love them. I tell my parents several times per day that I love them. I don't like asking for help and I don't like "bugging people". Just the kind of guy that I am. No one can tell the future and I guess that temporarily (Today) that is a problem for me. Being a Gemini, I normally bounce back to a joyous mood pretty quickly, but Jeez... Facing reality verses desires/wants, opportunity verses possibility, failure verses success. I'm just not feeling it... "TODAY". One thing for sure though, If one never speaks, nothing is ever learned...
Thanks Luv


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
8/4/2005 12:00 pm

Angel- You definately have NO problem in getting your words across and I thank you for them. We are the same in the respect that when we give, we give 110%. I am NOT in Love, right now. I have certain thirst that I would like quenched. I however have no desire to make anyone uncomfortable or cause anyone any pain. Especially because one particular thirst has the potential to be for a lifetime. I just don't know yet and don't want to bug them in any form possible. I also don't want to shut myself off in case it is not what I believe it could be. Wanting to "Go For It", but not wanting to hurt "ANYONE" , the least of which is myself, is the cause for my melancholy funk today. Hard as it is to believe in this day and age...I'm straightforward, pull no punches, have no reason to lie and I know what i want. Anyone can ask me anything, anywhere and i will tell them what I think and I will tell them the truth. Worrying whether THEY can handle it or not is my downfall...
Siz


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
8/4/2005 12:18 pm

THAT'S IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY NEXT POST WILL BE A LOT MORE FUN. GOTTA GET OUT OF THIS FUNK. I CAN'T STAND IT. MAKES ME WANNA SLAP MYSELF LIKE THE GUY FROM "GEEZ,YOU IRK ME...(P.S., HE STILL IRKS ME)" I WAS GONNA TAKE A BLOGGING VACATION FOR A COUPL'A YEARS, BUT NOPE!!! SIZ AIN'T A QUITTER!!!!!


rm_bella_ 48F
4030 posts
8/4/2005 6:34 pm

We all have fears of wearing our hearts on our sleeves...but only until we can fathom a reaction we will get...I suppose it is part of our protect armour...human nature.


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
8/4/2005 11:23 pm

Yes it is definately a protective method of some sort. LOL.
Fortunately something happened that made me feel a WHOOOOOOLLLLE
Lot better about the situation. Thank you for that and
Thanks for stopping by Bella, Luv it when you visit.


TopFisher 64M

8/5/2005 12:24 pm

Puss and Straighten, need to some how combine those two responses into some thing coherent.

Usually it's clear what the feelings are long before words are ever spoken. So when they come it's an expected and hopefully welcomed reassuring phrase.


Barbiebunny69 45F

8/5/2005 10:40 pm

i dunno if u really do know someone now a days but hopefully you create a space where they feel safe to reveal themselves


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
8/5/2005 11:58 pm

Wow... Thanks Barbie! Excellent comment and point. You make me think of something scarier though. Sometimes a person is still discovering themselves. So its hard to blame them for something they didn't even know they had... Owwww, my brain hurts now.


CuriousKitty675 43F
365 posts
8/6/2005 10:21 pm

It's the nature of a human to grow and change as a person. The person you marry could become a whole new person years down the road, good or bad. On the plus side it's good that it takes forever to really know someone because then there is something new to discover every day and an new adventure with your partener. If you know you have feelings for someone now it's possible that they might not have those feelings for you right now. That doesn't mean that all is lost though just because your timelines of change aren't in sync with one another.

Just tell them how you feel in a non threatening, non rushing way. Be alm when you tell them not overly passionate so as not to scare away someone who might be more timid. Just calmly tell them then tell them that you understand if what they feel is not entirely the same and that there is no pressure for things to change and that you are willing to keep the relationship right where it is until such a time that they feel the same about you as you do them. And, let them know that even if that never happens you will still be there for them as you are now.

Trust me. That takes the pressure off the other person to know that you aren't trying to throw thier world for a loop. Remember the tale of Gwaine, Knight of the Round Table?

King Arthur was taken prisoner by the Green Knight. Now being the man of honor that he was the Green Knight agreed to give Arthur one year to find the answer to a riddle in order to buy his freedom. If he did not he was to return to the Green Knight and accept his imprisonment.

Arthur was leaving the Green Knight's forest when he spotted a hideous looking woman. He approahed her and found out that she was Dame Ragnell, the Green Knight's sister and that she knew the answer to the question. However, there was a price. She had seen Sir Gwaine and heard the tales of his magnificence in battle as well as his way with the women. She demaned that Arthur have Gwaine marry her and she would tell him the answer.

Arthur told Gwaine about this but also told his friend that he did not have to do this. Gwaine, loving his King like a brother, would not hear of it. He took the ugly smelly woman and wed her in front of God and everybody despite the snickering and teasing from the other knights at his new bride.

When Gwaine entered the bed chambers that night the woman in the bed was no longer a hideous old hag but a beautiful madien. She explained to him that she was cursed and that he must choose if she would be beautiful for him by night when they were to share a bed or be beautiful by day where he could show the world his beautiful bride.

He could not decided such a thing and so told her that the decision was hers. She burst into tears and hugged him. She told him that he had just broken the curse that had been placed on her. The curse that could only be lifted once the answer to the question was found which was why her brother was seeking it out so fervently.

You see, the question was "what thing is it that all women desire above all else?" The answer? The right to choose for themselves.

If you show the patience to allow her to decide if you are the one then she will love you all the more for it.


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
8/7/2005 6:11 am

Top in a traditional relationship or in a traditional situation. One would be able to show gestures, etc to let the person know.In this case all we have is words. I guess i might as well admit it. As if, some of you didn't guess already. There is some confusion in my world right now, because Someone has caught my eye. Because we are on the internet and its a long distance situation. Very, very brand new and speculative. My natural protect armor is popping up all over the place. I would have to really put myself out there to achieve something here, I think. Normally this would not be a problem. I guess after reviewing her profile, reading her e-mails to me and looking at her blog. knowing that a lot of her responses are 99.9% the same as mine, has got me...wanting to jump right in and see what happens. That is not only a huge undertaking, but a very nervous decision in my current situations. Unfortunately on this particular situation, I'm going to have to sit back and let what comes, comes. From whatever situation or whatever person it comes from.
The old, If it is meant to be, it will be... GOD, I hate that phrase!!! LOL. But it is true...


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
8/7/2005 6:19 am

Curious- There may be nothing to come of this situation or any of this a.f.f. thing for that matter. I'm still on the market, I'm just languishing in the HOT foods section...LOL.
However, Your words and your point, hit home. In a very special way. Whether my actions or words are lost on this particular individual or not, remains to be seen. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for them though. So as I move forward in "The Kiss of Dating death" and admit it for the world... "I kinda like somebody."


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
8/7/2005 11:24 pm

Curious- You have no idea how much you helped me put things in perspective right now.
I really would like this to work out, I just don't know what is going to happen, so it has me wondering what to do or what not to do. Normally I'm a pretty confident person. I guess this one has got me a little wishy washy cuz I realy want to see what happens with it.


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
8/7/2005 11:28 pm

Top- I don't really have the opportunity right no to show anything, but words, plus the situation is very, very new.


rm_summer765 53F
123 posts
8/13/2005 3:36 pm

I myself am a very straight forward person.If i am starting to care for someone i let them know.They either like it or they don't.If they don't,I just look at it as their loss and move forward.I know who i am and what i have to offer.It's better to let things out,esp. if u r wanting it to turn into something serious and long-lasting.Everyone gets their heart broke.It's part of life.U just have to get back up and brush urself off.Your true soulmate could be looking u right in the face and u may never know because u chose not to let ur true feelings show.I hope u find whatever it is ur looking for Sizzle.


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
8/15/2005 11:18 am

Hey Summer765. Thank you very, very much. Stop by and visit the wonderful world of Sizzle as often as you can. I found your post comment at the exact time that I needed a
female opinion... non partial female opinion.Thanks again


rm_summer765 53F
123 posts
8/15/2005 1:15 pm

Sizzle..u truly r a gem.I will visit ur world daily..it's such an enchanting place to be.Your style,ur words,truly one of a kind. you keep me coming back for more.


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
8/16/2005 10:25 am

mmm, Summer, That is always the goal. Keep them coming back for more...


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