The Intimacy of Blogging...  

(Juan S)
3683 posts
12/1/2005 2:48 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Intimacy of Blogging...

Within the confines of these electronic walls...
I have come from dispelling my private thoughts to a screen...
things that I dared not discuss with acquantances, to friendships
real and flirtations and offers.
I danced in the light of popularity until the potential for my
soul to be wounded approached.
I returned, stronger, like in the martial arts movies...
ready to avenge my heart, because Sizzle backs down...
From No one.
I thought the logical and tried to follow my head and to be politically correct.
Life is not politically correct. It is Black or White and occassionally Grey.
Love is the same way...
I have shared intimate moments and turned away from sharing others, because I realized that hundreds of strangers were reading these thoughts. Because I realized that sometimes my whining depressed even me...why do it to someone else?
There are times that reading certain blogs, inspired me, lifted my soul...
there are times that I have been told, my words have done the same for others.
I am a giver, a pleaser and I fear no man or woman...well...maybe one woman. However, I will fight any battle...and I will fight to the death if need be.
So why stop? Why stop giving, when there are one or two people that are inspired as i have been inspired...?
How much Truth can be expelled in Blogland, without hurting someone's feelings?
Why defend against opinions of others, when...negative comments will not affect what I eat, drink or shit...?
The answer to both of those last few questions... You don't.
So maybe I won't let out everything...after all, it is my path to follow and speaking my mind whether commented on or not was the original purpose for starting to blog.
To get these thoughts out of my mind.
I've spoken of my kids, my heart, my business, my ex...
deadbeat dads, the system, shared poetry, short stories, true stories, sweet and bitter memories...
There are a few people that know a little more...
The stress I am dealing with more in depth from my kids, my ex,
my father and my goals.
Their are those that advised me that my quest for the one, should be put on the back burner, that I should not "Look" for it.
I am not looking for a random love. My problem has never been getting a date. Its been geting the date that I want. My problem has never been keeping a date. They have all come back, at one time or another...except one. One that doesn't know how to simply come back. Then there is the image, the profile, the statistics, the e-mails, the conversations of one in particular.
One that I don't have. One that I made nervous, because I was sure, she was the one for me. Logic said to move forward and of course, I tried. After all...maybe she isn't the one.
So here I am... December 1st, 2005. Closer to the Eve of my biggest year of my life... Lost. Stressed. Surrounded and pulled.
For all of the people around me...I don't have... a best friend.
One that is first and foremost on my level. One willing to go through Hell and high water for me or with me. One that is simply "sure" of herself and her feelings.
For all those that have said you can't find Love on a sex site...I contend that Love is wherever you find it and with whom you make it. As I have said before...I'm here...that's enough of an answer and explanation for me, to believe that it is possible.
However, blogland is merely an accelerated introduction.
A way of getting into a persons thoughts and personality.
There still must be the magic and the chemistry...of Touch.
I'm not backed into a corner, depressed, crying or hurting...
I am simply stressed, frustrated and exhausted...
"Wooo Saaaa...motherfucker"
20 chants, a cup of tea, some spiced rum before I head to work... and I rise to fight again.
There is a "ME" day coming, wish I knew when...
There is someone out there that is bound to get a pent-up, stress relieving, banged up against the wall, marathon fuck...
Is it going to be "the one" or another "friend", that will enter my life...?
Time will tell...


impish_pixie 55F
6867 posts
12/1/2005 4:17 pm

"There is someone out there that is bound to get a pent-up, stress relieving, banged up against the wall, marathon fuck..."

Oh yes, yes, yes....bring it on!

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn

Whispersoftly5 53F
15176 posts
12/1/2005 5:35 pm

"There is a "ME" day coming" - Absolutely, as long as you keep putting yourself out there it will happen. The hard (and sometimes lovely) part is all the ups and downs getting there.

It's nice learning about you through your blog - thank you for sharing yourself this way.


rm_goddess1946 107F
13518 posts
12/1/2005 10:08 pm

You may not be actively looking, Siz and the bottom line is you don't seem to be hiding. Appreciate your sharing your heart...

Everything is always in it's perfect matter what it is
looking or feeling like at any given moment. Life is like that....

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

tillerbabe 57F

12/1/2005 10:55 pm

Keep "being real" baby and the "real" one will cum to you!

(Princess Lips)

12/1/2005 11:52 pm

I love that you fear me...


DTand5Speed 42M/51F

12/2/2005 12:43 pm

Siz, I know it's cliche, but stop looking so hard. It is then that Fate will bring someone truly special into your life. Yes, there is a "you" day coming...patience my dear friend, patience. Another touching post. - DT

DTand5Speed 42M/51F

12/2/2005 12:45 pm

BTW...stealing your "save a virgin, do me instead" line...

(Juan S)
2642 posts
12/2/2005 4:27 pm

Wetty... You know me...I talk so much, it would be impossible for her not to know, but...YES, The "one" I believe to be the one, has been told...she has her own things to deal with though. So maybe it is, maybe it ain't...BTW...It ain't TRAV...LOL

TiT... Quit flirtin and bend over like a man...LMAO!!!

Impish...You tryin to tell me somethin? LOL

LOL...Thanks Reinne...heh heh...

Whisper...thanks for coming by and incidentally your albert effect things a little hot and bothered at Chateau Sizzle...Just wanted to let you know that I know how to recreate that multiple arm robot thing....

Jez...Stress relief on the way sweety..just lay on the bed naked... lol always, you cut straight thru to the bottom... thank you for keeping me grounded

Tillerbabe... You Will???

Redlips...hmmm... make that two in the world...LOL!!

DTand 5 speed...LOL its only fair, I steal lines from you guys all the time...

Smile4u...Thanks...been wondering why you hadn't been on my blog I know why...LOL


12/2/2005 5:56 pm

Hey Sizzle,

I like the few comments that I've seen you post around so far and I just have a few things here to say concerning this recent post.

I don't think you need to feel that you must spill everything about yourself here. Especially all at once.

I like to see this as a place where you can give leave a good taste of yourself without necessarily giving up the whole show.

Otherwise we'd all be scoring low points on the intrigue and mystery scales.

But from the little I have seen of your writings I think you've done a good job of doing this while still being quite expressive.

Thats essentially it but I do have a final thing to say. And sorry if you take offense to this or if you've heard it too many times but your picture there has some small resemblance to Shaquille in it!



Whispersoftly5 53F
15176 posts
12/2/2005 7:13 pm

Sizzle - Thanks for letting me know the AlbertPrince Effect had such an effect! LOL! It's nice to know somebody is reading that little story. I can't wait to see how things play out in the story this weekend!

Now with regard to your recreating the multiple arm robot thing - if you can do that you'll never need to work another day in your life - it will be nothing but sex, sex, sex - and - I'm first in line!!! LOL!


(Juan S)
2642 posts
12/2/2005 9:29 pm

KC- to Shaq resemblence, I'm not offended...there is a simple explanation...
He's my cousin! LOL...I'm kidding...

Whisper...LOL. I try to keep it on the down low...hmmm...maybe that's why all of my exes come back...heh heh...

spoldrtn812 52F  
1058 posts
12/3/2005 12:29 pm

I am a person that suggest that when you are looking you won't find it simply because it is generally sitting under your nose. Patience is a virtue that escapes most of us. My solace comes in knowing there is someone for everyone. I'll wait for him to show up in the meantime I continue to "work on me" so I am prepared for my most perfect mate sent to me from the Universe!

It has always been my experience when I try to "make" something happen, the suggestion of force is present, thereby creating a negative environment. I choose now to go with the flow and let nature take it's course! I am far less fustrated this way!

smmoches SIZ as always Tales from the Heart has been a wonderful episode

Please, Sign my Guestbook Screw me

(Juan S)
2642 posts
12/3/2005 2:09 pm

Thanks Spold...some things you make, some things you

The Distance Plus... Jenna? Jezz? ...uh KJ... ???????????

(Juan S)
2642 posts
12/4/2005 9:29 am

3 huh? hmmm...drool...

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