Late Night Rambling.  

SincereSiren 43F
47 posts
5/28/2006 9:25 pm

Last Read:
6/3/2006 4:07 am

Late Night Rambling.

I don't seem to suffer from being lonely as much as other people say they do. I tend to like my own space and I get a bit grumpy if that's infringed on too often.

This is probably one of the majority of reasons I stay single and have been involved in less than "ideal" relationships. I don't want someones thumb on my forehead. If I'm dating someone and they start questioning where or how I've spent all my time, I tend to dump them pretty quick.

I'd really just like to find one guy I can tolerate for longer than a month or two. I really do like doting on someone, they just have to be worth the dotage.

This all isn't to say that I never feel lonely. lately it's been a feeling that's on the increase but I still feel so raw from the last realtionship. I don't trust people enough to let anyone close and if someone seems like they're getting close, I'll often just stop talking to them and then ask myself later why I ran like a scared rabbit.

I don't think, at this point, there are men out there with the patience that being part of my life requires. Everyone says, "When the right guy..." Blah, blah, blah - right guy my ass. There is no such thing. My last relationship surely proved that to me. I thought he was perfect. I mean, I knew he had faults and flaws but I liked his. I never saw us ending up how we have and it saddens me to think that maybe he was my 'one' and because of other responsibilities we are now bitter enemies pretty much.

If the saying holds true that "You always hurt the ones you love the most." He must love the ever loving shit out of me.


DIVISION77 41M
8337 posts
5/28/2006 10:34 pm

You clearly need your distance in a relationship and that is fine.

I'm not sure what qualities you look for in a man for a relationship but asking for a man to be that patient while being monogamous is a bit much.

If you want an open relationship, you would probably not have a problem finding a guy who is open to the distance.

But asking him to give you that much room while still being completely faithful to you is probably not realistic.

Could happen, but even the most understanding of guys would probably only tolerate that for a short time before they lost interest.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


SincereSiren 43F
24 posts
5/28/2006 11:39 pm

Exactly why I don't date. Men aren't worth it. Thanks for proving my point for me.


rm_solvitur 52M

6/2/2006 6:46 am

I wonder if one of the problems in dating nowadays is that life is so friggin' complex. I don't think we always know how to act in relationships. Often, too much goes unspoken or assumed...or we just want to go with the flow too much. Is there a solution to this problem? One possibility is for the couple to develop a "relationship contract" and modify it as needed. I think it would become clear pretty quickly if the couple is compatible. Can each person live by a set of simple, agreed-upon rules? This might help develop trust for each other as well. Some of you might think this is a silly idea or like "The Rules" book that was published some years ago. However, contracts are common in alternative lifestyle (BDSM) relationships to help foster better communication and clarify roles. I think a similar thing can be incoroprated into any relationship. Again, it's something that can be easily modified from time to time. The important thing is that the couple clearly states and discusses their needs and bounaries and puts these in writing. I'm curious to know what others think of this idea.


SincereSiren 43F
24 posts
6/3/2006 4:07 am

I don't thik a contract is necessary, but then, I also don't have a problem communicating what I need.

My problem is finding a good guy to express such concerns to heh.


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