Still alive...  

SigEp4U 43M
112 posts
3/1/2005 6:23 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Still alive...

Well I am still alive…I had a really good time last night. I had forgotten how physical the sport is. After the second run down the mountain I was so out of breath I felt like I was going to puke. As the evening wore on I started to get my snow legs back under me and I didn’t have to fight the mountain so hard and things got easier.

The snow was not the best. It was really wet and heavy. The snow-boarders had the middles scrapped down to ice and the sides where choppy as hell. Still it was better than artificial. I was so afraid that I wouldn’t remember how to ski... it had been so long. It came back so fast though… I guess it’s sorta like riding a bicycle, once you learn you never forget. I hope sex is the same way… I can barely even remember what that is like. That sucks!!!

I did dislocate my thumb towards the end of the night. It’s all black and blue this morning. That’s what happens when you start showing off. I had hooked up with some college kids that seemed to be having a good time and was just sorta tagging along with their group… mainly so that I had a spotter on the jumps to make sure that there was not someone who had fallen down, right below the jumps. Anyway… coming down over a real steep section right in front of a nice jump my ski edge caught some of the loose wet snow and just pulled my ski out from under me. Face planted right into the snow and somehow in the process dislocated my thumb. Talk about hurt… but oh well… as my ski instructor use to say… if you don’t fall down your not learning anything new.

Of course the whole evening was pretty much ruined at an emotional level from the get go. The wife got real mad that I was going. I could have stayed home and appeased her… but it’s all about setting boundaries.

Friday night we were supposed to go out on a date, she cancelled and went out with her best friend. Saturday night she had her family over to our house. Sunday afternoon she spent the day with three of her friends. Tonight she is going out of state to see an old friend. Wednesday night she has plans, etc, etc.

The point is that when she wants to do something, she just makes the plans and does it. She will make the plans and then say, “Hey I am doing this”. Since she doesn’t want to communicate I find out the day of.

So last night when I went home from work and told her that I wanted to go skiing she said, “Well I wanted to spend the night on the computer and I wanted you to watch our son” but you can do what you want to do.

I choose to go skiing and even though she said to do whatever I wanted… it was a loaded offer. She got mad and made life real unpleasant. I tried to stay calm and just get ready to go skiing and I think that I did a pretty good job… but when I left she yelled at me to just stay gone.

So the rest of the night I had to sit there and wonder if I was being selfish? Should I have stayed home so that she could do what she wanted to do? Was I not being a good father since I had not stayed home to be with my son? Riding a chair-lift up the side of a mountain gives you a long time to just sit there and think.

I don’t think that I was being selfish. I know that my wife thinks that I am… and that’s what I struggle with the most… am I being selfish or am I just standing up for my rights and setting boundaries.

Sometimes I just wish I could get away for a weekend… take a nice long road trip… meet some new people and have a good time.

On a good note… I have been eating out a lot for supper… and the restaurant where they have the hot waitresses is one of my favorites. I stopped by there at about 11 PM last night on the way home from skiing and the restaurant owner bought me a beer. I guess he wants me to keep coming back.

Got to go…


SigEp4U 43M

3/2/2005 5:34 am

Frustrated... thanks for the compliments. I think that I am going to be taking a class on assertiveness later this month. The counselor that I am seeing says that it would be good for me so that I can recognize what passive aggression and some of these other things look like.

As far as being passive aggresive... I don't know enough about it yet so I will take your word for it... I do know that most of the time there is nothing passive about anything with that lady of mine. Zero to Mad in about as much time as it takes me to open my mouth... LOL

Anyway hope you have a good day and that you don't stay "Frustrated" for long.


rm_tkwswing 52M/50F
114 posts
3/2/2005 10:41 am

My husband and I have been reading your posts. It seems you are going about life the best you can. Communication, no matter what platform, always help ease frustrations.

We admire your honesty, and willingness to make some attempt to save your marriage even when you have no cooperation from your wife.

It's an unfortunate situation and hope you keep your chin up and remember that a tree that doesn't bend in the wind breaks. If she is not willing to bend, maybe you need to make a clean break. You have to do what is best for you, your family, and your sanity.

There are a ton of people out there wishing you the best...we're two of them.

rm_sheree73 44F
45 posts
3/2/2005 10:45 am

Worded very well FrustratedBBW03! I have to agree with her hon, I dont think you were being selfish at all. That was a pretty obvious attack from your wife to make your time out unpleasent. She knew if she blurted off at the mouth mean things it would eat at you and you wouldnt have fun. Well, I think you did a good job. Even though the thoughts were there you did have a good time and you needed it. I hope you keep up with that, because you do deserve time for you as well.

Sending more hugs for support and encouragement.

SigEp4U 43M

3/2/2005 4:39 pm

Thanks... it isn't all bad though. Just when I am home... LOL... just joking.

No seriously... the wife apologized this morning about all of that. It nearly gave me a heart attack... she hasn't said that she was sorry for anything in a long, long time.

It is really good to hear from people who can help me to see things as they really are.

I appreciate all of you... and hope that life brings you happiness.


SigEp4U 43M

3/4/2005 5:07 am

Frustrated... thanks for the heads up about that test. I took it and for the one that I took I got 75 out of 100 points.

Basically it means that I am aware that I have feelings, that under most circumstances I would make the right choice... etc, etc.

It was defiently interesting taking the test.

Have a good day.


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