Semi MIA  

ShyWhisper2006 54F
8597 posts
8/23/2006 6:55 pm
Semi MIA

I have had a few days to myself and ...taking a breather from that little story that I wrote here.

What have I been doing? Well, I managed to have an argument with the lil whisper in the grocery store ...and what pray tell was it over?
SUSHI...yes he was arguing and being most firm about which he wanted . I trued to gently remind him that I was the one with the purchasing power in the twosome...but to no avail.

What else...
I started another little story and when it is ready I shall post it as well.
I was most surprised at the comments that I received...*smiles*
I love them all and their encouragement was warming. *smiles*

Recently, I have been the burnt end of alot of other people's anger and hostility and the other negative emotions. Now I am not saying I have not had similar type of emotions ...I have...but I noticed something about it as well.
If one is angry or hurt...it is not only that person that is affected by it.
It spreads...either unintentionally or on purpose it creeps from one to another and seems to infect many before it fades.
It is easy enough done that the one you are angry with is not available or not "there" to confront...but the poor soul that nears unexpectedly is the one that takes it head on.
Not only are they unaware of why they are receiving such a lashing ..but they start to become angry as well or hurt.
In turn...they move on to the next one..and so on...and so on...as it spreads, it attaches itself and affects all that come close.

How do I deal with it?
I think if there is something that I have done to cause the situation. That not being the case , I take a deep breath and let the person rant...rage and vent till they get it out of their system...trying to stay out of their way and yet trying to be supportive.
It doesn't always work , because many do not know why they are angry in the first place and do not know why they are in need of some time out.

But I try to look past it and remain calm and wait it out till they relax and the anger ebbs.

I know for myself that my anger stems from the recent uncontrollable losses in my life and yes I have lashed out at some. I apologized as soon as I realized what I was doing. Fear and hurt seem to be the at the core of anger...and for me...that is not going away as quickly as I would like.

I have found that in most cases ...with me or others...it is the need to be heard...to be listened to.
I think everyone wants that and how many of us have experienced this little conversation...
You are upset and just want to be heard and to talk to someone..and when asked in a conversation
"How are you ?"
We answer politely..."Fine thanks and how are you?"
the other says "Fine " as well and not really paying attention to the way the word as said nor taking the time to find out why it was not great or wonderful.
It is like we really do not want to know that they may be hurting...that they may need...*gasp*...Help.

Life is too damn short to move so quickly past others, that you do not see the hurt or the sadness that another is in.
Take the time to listen...and really hear others.

*sends gentle thoughts to all*


lostmydrinkagain 45F
2272 posts
8/23/2006 7:16 pm

you are a very wise woman...and I appreciate your gentle thoughts. I always try to live by the golden rule and my motto is and will always be Carpe diem.


ShyWhisper2006 54F
15175 posts
8/24/2006 2:51 am

    Quoting lostmydrinkagain:
    you are a very wise woman...and I appreciate your gentle thoughts. I always try to live by the golden rule and my motto is and will always be Carpe diem.
lostmydrinkagain...thank you for the wonderful comment ..and welcome to my blog Very good words to live by


ShyWhisper2006 54F
15175 posts
8/24/2006 2:53 am

    Quoting spunky11961:
    Not moving to fast to not have the time to listen or care here~
    ~spunky
spunky...*smiles*...I knew you would be the type that would be wonderfully caring ...Take care and Be well


AstirRelicLatah 65M
1993 posts
8/24/2006 6:53 am

A beautiful post. We need to be careful about accepting others anger, it can have a debilitating affect on our life....Unless, of course, we caused the anger, then we need to accept and help both of us to move on. I recently was reminded of a saying from a workshop I went to a long time ago, the saying is "speak with good purpose". I like that idea, I need to always keep it in my mind. Thanks.


ShyWhisper2006 54F
15175 posts
8/25/2006 1:52 am

    Quoting AstirRelicLatah:
    A beautiful post. We need to be careful about accepting others anger, it can have a debilitating affect on our life....Unless, of course, we caused the anger, then we need to accept and help both of us to move on. I recently was reminded of a saying from a workshop I went to a long time ago, the saying is "speak with good purpose". I like that idea, I need to always keep it in my mind. Thanks.
Skier...Thank you so much... and those are wise words that you shared as well...*smiles*
Your most welcome


ShyWhisper2006 54F
15175 posts
8/25/2006 1:54 am

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    Very nice post..life is short..yesterday I was just 25 it seems..already I'm 55..enjoy one another people..be kind.
mzhuny....*nods and smiles*...Yes I know what you mean...it be so much easier if others realized this..Be well Mz Huny
Thank you for stopping by *smiles*


IviesBidesJuste 56M
3658 posts
8/25/2006 1:24 pm

Don't sweat the small stuff. You have to realize that there are some people who don't have a real life, so when they are all bent out of shape, they take it out on people like you. Thats about the time you just tell them to f*** off and die hard in fiery car crash. then block them.


rm_ShineOnU2 56M
125 posts
8/25/2006 1:54 pm

Shy, some how I missed this one? I don't understand it? But as usual you are right on the money. Gentle, kind and thoughtful and by that I really do mean "full of thought!" You are an amazing girl, lady and woman all in one.

Hi...


ShyWhisper2006 54F
15175 posts
8/26/2006 12:09 am

    Quoting IviesBidesJuste:
    Don't sweat the small stuff. You have to realize that there are some people who don't have a real life, so when they are all bent out of shape, they take it out on people like you. Thats about the time you just tell them to f*** off and die hard in fiery car crash. then block them.
LB...*nods*...I shall remember this...and as for the I shall not wish ill on anyone...as much as they may deserve it...it is not worth my energy and peace of mind...I walk away and let them think about it...let Karma and their own guilt get them...*smiles*
Thanks again for stopping by


ShyWhisper2006 54F
15175 posts
8/26/2006 12:11 am

    Quoting rm_ShineOnU2:
    Shy, some how I missed this one? I don't understand it? But as usual you are right on the money. Gentle, kind and thoughtful and by that I really do mean "full of thought!" You are an amazing girl, lady and woman all in one.

    Hi...
Shine...*smiles* You are too sweet...and I thank you...*hugs*

*rubs wrists*


SirMounts 103M

8/26/2006 3:21 am

shy...
Very wise words. I guess I am the kind that doesn't like taking about My own problems... although I am interested in listening to others when they need to share.
It can be a burden sometimes, but I have always managed stress well, and so I guess I know I can get away with it. *winking*


ShyWhisper2006 54F
15175 posts
8/26/2006 4:35 am

    Quoting SirMounts:
    shy...
    Very wise words. I guess I am the kind that doesn't like taking about My own problems... although I am interested in listening to others when they need to share.
    It can be a burden sometimes, but I have always managed stress well, and so I guess I know I can get away with it. *winking*
SirMounts...It is when one shares with another...that a connection is made...and through that connection both ..don't feel so alone with what they are dealing with...Some days it is hard to keep giving of yourself to hear others pain...but it comes back to you tenfold...in other ways ...when you need it...Thanks for stopping by.


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