Never Confess Your Sins  

ShawnRikar 37M
12 posts
3/29/2006 1:48 pm
Never Confess Your Sins

A friend of mine got married a month ago. Before the alter it was very inportant to this friend to make sure that all of our sins were confessed before God. I was against this because i did not want anyone to know even a few of the things i had done in my oast that could catch up with me. IN the end i relented and entered the confessions booth and i started off with the easy stuff the sins of the flesh...."forgive me father for i have sined a bit sinse my last confession. I have had intimate relations with several young ladies in a way only a husband should." The father replied it was normal to have these urges that it was experimenting with young ladies that were looking for a husband. To which i said "a few of them had found a husband already." This got no reply. I asked if driving laws counted as sins. He said no so i breathed a sigh of relief because i didn't want to start down that list. i had to go into the list of foul language i had used since i was like 8, and i was supposed to name each one (What's up with that). So about 15 minutes later i was instructed to just move on becuase he had never heard of some of those words. I then moved onto the drinking, which i never really set out to get hammered, but i usually end up there tho .
After the drinking i asked if crimes like indecent exposure would make the sins list, was told yeah it would, so i had to confess the mooning sprees by the police station, the public places i have had sex, the streaking sprees that i have gotten into every once in a while, the moral implications of de-breifing a police officer (yes i mean pulling the pants off of a female police officer) i am kinda proud of that one, the several jugs of powerful home brew we lit on fire on an overpass to see how long it would burn and how well u could see it, the night i snuck into a womens locker room and built a false wall to observe the showering habits of the opposite sex, the breaking into a women's workout facility while the instructor of one of the classes there was getting "Extra help" from one of her female students and filmed it, using a really loud base on a speaker system to set off several car alarms simultaneously, the intent but unsucessful attempt to use a cell phone to monitor the undergarments of a very busty young lady by dropping my phone down her top, and to top off the things i can think of atm was the unsuccessful attempt to use a tire iron to open a can of Mt. Dew and get a young lady to change her clothes in my house...stupid can missed spraying her.
At the end of my confussion the preacher looked mostly at me when we were having to pray especially when it came to the part about forgiving all sins.

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