Closure???WHAT fucken closure???  

Shameless_Biotch 49F
177 posts
7/22/2006 7:19 am

Last Read:
7/25/2006 9:34 am

Closure???WHAT fucken closure???

OK, this word,
is highly overused, in my opinion...
WTF does it really mean??
I don't know exactly, but people have been telling me I need some of it, about this whole "boyfriend abandonment" thing...maybe they are right, because
I feel like I am doing the right things to try and get the fuck over it, but there's something inside me that says,
"You need to talk to him, to finish this, either way, once and for all."

So, I wait to hear from him, to make a will probably be the end of August before our schedules would synch-up anyways...
But, I feel horrible when I think about just walking away from that intense emotional investment...there is something inside that says,
"give him the benefit of the doubt, be patient, wait to talk to him."

Being so horribly abused as a child, abandoned physically, by my birth mother, then emotionally by my parents and community, I have difficulty moving on in a situtaion like this, where I have been abandoned once again...
I am frustrated, hurt, angry, resentful....
and dammit, HOPEFUL...
there is still a little part of me that will run right back into his arms, I know it...forgive everything, not expect an explanation....
but I would also feel like I had abandoned myself if that happened, if I just acted like nothing was wrong and took him back just cuz he came back....I have done that before, and I need to remind myself how shitty it always turns out...

So, Dear Blog Readers, I wanna know....
What the fuck IS "closure" anyways, and how does one go about finding it???

LustyTaurus 49M
21253 posts
7/22/2006 8:25 am

For me closure is kind of like changing clean out your work area, clean out your desk, say goodbye to everyone and hand in your keys...nice and clean, no loose ends.

Only a month later you remember something special you forgot so you go back to get it only to find that the new girl has thrown it away or packed it up and thrown it into a 10 acre storage what do you do?'s important, you miss it, theoretically its out there...but impossible to get.

Closure is being willing to accept the things you cannot change, having the courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference.

rm_max_is_back 44M

7/22/2006 8:28 am


To me - its about seeking why something happened. Problem is - you may never find out. I've had to seek closure on my end on several things. You have pretty much the same questions and feelings I have recently had.

Why did my (now EX)GF did what she did to me? -- Because she is not a good person and I am better than she will ever be.

Why did my wife pass away? -- Because it was her time. Because there is a life lesson to be learned. Because there is something else on the horizon for me.

If you really want to know why - then you have to seek the answer. Maybe you are not supposed to know why. Maybe you are supposed to reflect back, see what happened, and formulate your own conclusion. Maybe the answer is right in from of your nose - you just have to open your eyes and see it.

Everyone will have there own definetion of the meaning.

It is YOU who must learn what YOUR meaning will be.

Shameless_Biotch 49F

7/23/2006 2:19 am

Lusty....No, I disagree...
it is SERENITY that you get from accepting what you cannot change, finding the courage to change that which you can, and getting wisdom to know the difference........that poem/prayer says NOTHING about closure...but thanks for stopping by!!

Thanks for your thoughts,Spunky and Max...welcome to my blog

Hikers 61M/61F  
2 posts
7/23/2006 5:37 am

Closure - whatever that is - certainly can be difficult. What my wife and I like best in this lifestyle is having a threesome with another man. This will often lead to her meeting the guy on the side - something I encourage and benefit from. She is never more turned on than when she is getting some on the side and can come home and get more from me. But there have been times when she confuses the sex with love. One man in particular was her downfall. He had plenty of free time and was probably the best lover she has ever had. She could spend all weekend in bed with him and she would come home not ready for more but too tired and satiated to even say hi to me. The love making was so intense that she fell in love with him.

That would have be ok with me except that she began to find faults in me (not that I don't have any) and began to question our love for each other after decades of marriage. I knew that the affair had to run its course and didn't try to stop it - she had to do that on her own. And she did, eventually. It took her having distance from her "friend" and being able to see him for who he really was - a great lover but also someone with faults. Until she stopped seeing him as perfect she couldn't let go. Initially she decided to drop out of the lifestyle all togeteher. I knew this wouldn't work - she enjoys having a new guy too much. It was when she found another interest - someone else to have great sex with - that she was finally able to let go.

So, closure for her came when she could look at the relationship for what it really was - not her fantasy - and find repalcements for some of what she had lost. She loves him and talks to him to this day but the pain of not seeing him has passed as time has helped her adjust to the new reality.

Hope this helps.

rm_shannee2006 53F
3355 posts
7/23/2006 8:20 am

Closure is simple...but not so simple to achieve. It is acceptance....the time of acceptance that brings you back to emotional nuetrality and peace.

The only way I know to get there is to use my spiritual practice until life brings me around a bend that brings me internal acceptance that's complete.

Yup...this juiciness is from me....


Shameless_Biotch 49F

7/24/2006 4:01 am

Hikers, Shannee....thanks, I needed that!

Become a member to create a blog