Shameless_Biotch 49F
177 posts
7/28/2006 6:01 am

Last Read:
7/28/2006 11:04 pm


I actually woke up with a positive outlook on life and some energy today!!

Maybe it's because I finally got some things accomplished yesterday that took a lot of "weight" off of my shoulders...the first one was,

I am so damn excited, can't wait to see my beautiful daughter, the Pacific Ocean, old friends, the San Jacinto mountains and I can't wait to eat at In-N-Out burger (Double double with grilled onions, please ), some real fish tacos on the beach, some REAL vegetarian food or at Knott's Chicken Dinner restaurant
Not all the details have been worked out yet, and I hate to fly ( before take-off, I get nervous, but if I can survive it, after the plane takes off I will be fine...alcohol will probably play a huge part, tooLOL )
I just hope my hotels don't get blacked out while I am there!!LOL

*crosses fingers and toes*

The second thing I finally did was to write back an email to my b/f that has pretty much abandoned me for almost 3 months now...it took longer than I thought it would, and I had both of my best friends read it and give me feedback before I sent it...it was a difficult task, I was very conscious about how I would "come off" and didn't want to seem too pissed off,too moody or too needy....hope I accomplished that...I didn't pull any punches, I felt the email was concise enough and honest enough to represent what I've been going thru and to ask the questions I have needed answers to...I feel like I finally "said my piece"...
It felt great to finally express some of those pent up emotions: anger, dread, uncertainty, pain, hurt, "distress"...I feel like the ball is in his court now, and I am not in limbo like I used to feel...what a relief!!FINALLY!!Now,remember, nothing is resolved yet between us, just two emails have passed between us so far, but I feel unburdened and, DARE I SAY IT, HAPPY...for the first time in a long time...I know he got the email cuz I sent it in an eCard, and got the return reciept,confirming it being picked up, so I am hopeful today

and it feels so good!!!

Have you done something you're proud of lately??
Have you resolved some festering issues? have you finally let go of something negative from the past and feel free and happy like I do today??

I hope so!!

rm_shannee2006 53F
3355 posts
7/28/2006 7:00 pm

I'm proud of letting my bf know how I felt about his unstable behavior in my life and what my boundaries were for any future time with him. I'm also happy about letting my other bf go. I'm sad that he said he'd like to be friends and is not following through on that in any way, but I still see him reading my blog each day or sometimes more often than that...so I know that he's still out there and doing okay. That's gratifying because I care about him. I'm having a good time most of the time dating and I'm making emotional progress on some personal issues lately that make me feel good about me. Still have some work to do tho.

Yup...this juiciness is from me....


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