It's Been My Experience With Men  

SexyRycheBabe 46F
1292 posts
1/25/2006 9:20 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

It's Been My Experience With Men

It's been my experience with men that no matter how you play it or what you do, it isn't the right thing.

You start out wanting one thing, being genuinely interested in getting to know someone on the basis of romantic compatabilities and you hit a brick wall. Then, you get the "I just want to be friends" speech. Okay, so you back up, regroup, and start again ... as friends. Sometimes it's a big adjustment and at other times it's not. Some time goes by or, maybe, just a little bit of time goes by and then guess what? Suddenly, what you're doing, the way that you're reacting to them isn't the right thing either. Even though you're playing by their rules and giving them what they said they wanted ... it's not good enough. They want more.

So, it's been my experience with men that they want to call you their friend but they want your time and attention like you're something more.

The want what they want when they want it and then all bets are off when they don't want it. Some people would call it having your cake and eating it too. My mother would say it's all about having the milk without buying the cow. I say, it's a pain in the ass and I've had enough of it!

Am I the only one who suffers from this phenomenon in relationships with the opposite sex?

rm_titsandtires 53M/42F
3656 posts
1/26/2006 5:46 pm

i understand what you're saying, and it's tough to go through time and time again.

My wife and I broke up once before getting back together and eventually getting married. (Been married now for 28 months) But what really helped us out was recognizing that we were not only a couple, but two individuals as well. And we had to respect each other as an individual before we could ajppreciate being a couple. It has worked well for us.


docdirk 49M

1/26/2006 8:29 pm

Hey SexyBabe, nice to see ya' back in this part o' town again!

The ole' "just friends" tagline seems to be the story of my life. In my younger days (ahem) I used to be a great listener. People confided in me often. Many women with whom I wanted to cultivate so much more with looked at me as their friend first and foremost. Of course, when and if I ever told them of my feelings, it was too awkward to move forward. It always felt as if I were abusing their trust somehow by developing feelings for them.

I'm much smarter now. I only blog... LOL!

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

SexyRycheBabe 46F
820 posts
1/27/2006 8:32 pm

doc... you email too! But, I'm with you right now. I barely blog and that's it. What I've realized is that this site isn't the place to be to get what I want.

Personally, I think it's very hard for single men and women to be friends. Esp. if that's not the place where you started from. But, even if you start out with the intention of being friends, there's always that "I wonder..." factor that plays out, too. There's that "well, we get along so well and we have so much in common and why aren't we more than friends" thread that gets pulled over and over.

It's obnoxious and I'm tired of it. I think anybody who reads my blogs on any sort of regular basis can tell that I've gotten more and more fed up with the BS that I get from dudes.

It's fine. This site served its purpose for me and that was mostly to move beyond a particular someone who was such a major forced in my life and since that chapter is firmly closed, I find this place no longer does anything for me.

I've said before and I'll say it again. I want a real man. A strong man.

I'm just here to blog. LOL And since I started writing my "someday I'll be famous for it" book, I haven't even done much of that.

hooks1952 65M

1/28/2006 12:22 am

If I were just maby 10yrs. younger I would try and change your mind about men sugar , but you know the old saying (shit happens and I got old before my time) Hope that it is not offensive but have you considered traveling in another circle. Different day different time.


SexyRycheBabe 46F
820 posts
1/29/2006 5:16 pm

hooks: are you telling me I should play for my own team? The truth is, I would sooner become a nun than a lesbian. Not that I don't have bisexual curiousness... but the likelihood of doing it is very, very unlikely. And, I think that it's strange to me...the idea of being IN LOVE WITH another woman. Never mind, it's against my religion.

So, no, I still say I need a MMMMAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!! Not guys who claim that they're men but are really needy, selfish, and only after one thing.

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