Need advice...  

SexyBoobHotClit 44F
49 posts
2/15/2006 2:07 pm

Last Read:
3/14/2006 9:05 pm

Need advice...


Tell me why do our man lies?
I'm refering to husband, fiancee or boyfriend. I know that they lie to protect their interest but they always claim it's for our own good. They cook up a long story to convince us but when we put all the pieces together, more questions pop up. It hurts even more.

But what should we do on our part? Just accept his lies and trust him?

Sorry guys, but really hope for some solution with this problem of mine. How do I break up?

I give u a scenario of his last lie.
Last friday, he was suppose to drive me somewhere but in the last minute he said something crop up, had to rush somewhere bla bla bla... Of cause i'm a little dissappointed. He could tell it from my voice but I said it was ok. He called up a short while later saying he could spare an hr or 2. So we had dinner.

While having dinner he had a phone call. The conversation was short. `hello... huh... will u be alright.. k' Its funny a man of many words suddenly talk like that. So i ask. He claim it was office, bitch lady boss & giving me some detail of her. He gave me a name.. lets say its jane.

After dinner, while driving to my destination, my curiosity gets the better of me so i whip out my hp & called up that number. Nobody answered so i hang up. Then the number called back. I appologise & said maybe I dialled the wrong number, was looking for Jane. Suprised suprised.. the ans was no, its Rose. I look at him & he had this worried look coz he knew his couldn't escape this time.

Rose was a woman he chat up the day before while i was ordering lunch at the counter. When I came back he introduce me as his wife & she left briefly. I didn't even see they exchange namecards & he surely never mention anything.

I was furious. My heart was aching. I couldn't believe it. He did mention that he thinks she's bi-sexual. I told him not to think that way. `How do u know, u called her?' He said no. I would not have thought anything abt it if he said he did called. Unless he had something to hide.

I did ask for a break-up then but he beg me to stay. Said he really loves me. He even cried on the phone. Called me a few times in the middle of the night & early hours of the morning. Begging me to give him another chance. It did touches my heart.

So how do I get out if he doesn't let me go. I know how crazy he could be. How do i get away from him?

I could change job, change my contact number but i couldn't move out from my parents place. I don't want him creating a scene in front of my door again as he did a few times before.

My last resort is calling his wife. But thats an option too scary to think of coz i do not want to be the blame for his failed marriage.

Get a new bf? But i don't want him to blame me saying i've been unfaithful thats why I'm looking for a reason to break-up. He told me he would never let me go unless i had someone else. But how do I start dating if he wants to screen every man i want to go out with? So thats the reason why i've not contact any of you guys yet.

So how do i break-up nicely?...

angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
2/15/2006 3:13 pm

Just tell him goodbye. Trust me on this.....he will not change...it is not in his mind to change. And since you can get out now without a lot of complications ie:kids, bills, etc.........get out! If you stay. He will try to change. And he may be successful for a time. But it will crop up again. Just tell him the truth...its time for you to move on. Good luck.


Justwantfun1962 55M

2/15/2006 3:57 pm

Think your answer is in your own question. I can't believe that your with a married man then say he's being unfaithful to you. What kind of mixed up world do we live in, the thing to look at is not just him but the women who throw themselves at him. Find it strange you should question that.
The simple answer is tell him it's over as you've had a crisis of consious. You can't live with the gult of being with a married man. If he says he's going to leave his wife your f ed.
Sorry don't want to come over all moral but i find it very strange, a question to ask yourself is why are you sleeping with another womans man. It's not all mens fault.


rm_Honeyluce 46F
15 posts
2/15/2006 4:34 pm

Hi, are u for real???

Ur seeing a married man - who is obviously cheating on his wife with you, so hes being unfaithful in the 1st place...
and
u have a feeling that hes maybe cheating on u?? is this right?

Did you expect him to be manogamous with you??? oh and his wife of course!!!

Honey the only hold he has over u is the one ur giving him.

Play him at his own game..
Do u want to see any one else?

U have every right to see other people if u want to - easier said then done i know, especially if u love him...
but just think.........
when/if another man shows an interest in u and u like him back.......
that the married man ur seeing is going home and sleeping with his wife - that hes sharing his bed with his wife an prob being fresh with her...

Get mad at him.. If ur angry with him and he calls ur be less tempted to give in to him.

U have every right to seek out a relationship outside of this one.
Ur not being unfaithful. Ur playing him at his own game.

The man is chatting up other women when ur around.. this rosie chick for instance. Where is the respect and love for you??

Good luck with what ever happens and may you have to strenght to leave him x


mailmantrouser2 55M
534 posts
2/15/2006 5:04 pm

The fact that he's sleeping with you while he's married to another woman may be his problem, but you knew this going in I supose. Why would you want to be with a man who is cheating on his wife? And now he wants to have his cake and eat it too! And you are jealous because you think he is not faithful to you? Is he that good in bed? Or what is is it about him? Surely you can do better!
Mailman


IAMLOVEUR2 56F

2/15/2006 5:27 pm

Precious Lady,

Trust what you feel. We reside in an absolutely unlimited abundant Universe. Lack in any area is simply a perception. You can be, do,
and have all that you desire concerning you. What is it that you truly desire? Focus on wonderful thoughts concerning you. Allow you to align with your desires and Sweetheart you will scream in total JOY as the Universe begins to yield to you all that you are willing to allow into your beautiful world. You truly can have all that you desire (concerning you). All truly is well...really it is.

Love ya,

Elaine


rm_nikotai 67M
1 post
2/15/2006 7:01 pm

Not all men lie. Maybe we should but some of us can't fathom lying to someone we care about. You need to find yourself a new guy.


eternal1969 48M
1634 posts
2/16/2006 7:35 am

Life is complex by itself you know.... why do u want to subject yourself to this? Give another guy a chance girl to appreciate you


rm_vertigo_1980 37M
2 posts
2/17/2006 12:48 am

If you can spare the time, catch the movie "Match Point". I would think this will give a good but definite answer. Men are just bastard, forgive me guys out there, but I certainly think that this apply to most of us.. Inclusive of me


SexyBoobHotClit 44F

2/17/2006 10:39 pm

Thanks guys... the support you showed makes me stronger. Finally I've said good bye to him for the last time & still standing rooted to my decision. He stills begs, calls & turn up at my office. Its really hell but still i stand by my decision.

I actually called Rose up to get her side of the story. Rose was furious with him. I told her that i didn't believe when he said she was interested in him. Gave him her card & ask him to call. `FUCK HIM' was the first word coming out of her. So the truth came out. He ask for her card knowing she's in events management in a pretext of business. So that friday he ask her out but when she refused, he insisted. So to avoid his advances she said she's a lesbian. That didn't stop. He then ask for a threesum.

Me & Rose had a long talk. She knew I was the third party in his marriage & she too advise me to leave him. I told her of his stalking me. Had a good cry & now I'm friends with Rose. He still calls Rose thinking i would never talk to her. But damp, was he wrong. The good part is he still swears that he had stopped calling her. For my part, i'll just see how long he will carry on his lies.

My thanks to,
angleofmercy5, Justwantfun1962, Honeyluce, manmailtrouser2, mzhunyhole, IAMLOVEUR2, nikotai, eternal1969, vertigo 1980..
for taking time to read my sorrows & showing support..


SexyBoobHotClit 44F

2/17/2006 11:01 pm

Justwantfun,
Just to make things straight. I met him when he was still single. I would never had even gone out with him in the first place if i knew he had a gf even. I did suspect there's someone but he denies when i ask. It becomes clear only when his fiance answers his phone one day. At that time I had already dated him for a year. Thats how smart he was in keeping it from me. I tried to break-up since but nothing I do could shake him off. You might not believe me & think i'm one stupid women. But is a really good liar & he really lies convincingly. I only knew it recently..


Justwantfun1962 55M

2/21/2006 3:31 pm

SexyBoobHotClit,
Hey, as i said i didn't want to get all moral over your problems think it was just the way i read it. Though you knew he was a married man before hand. Stick to your guns you'll be fine and as people say there's plenty more fish in the sea. As for stupid women i ain't going anywhere near that comment.
Take it easy and if your really stuck give me a shout in sunny N Ireland lol


Fun_n_Adventure 42M
8 posts
2/22/2006 9:25 am

stand your ground and tell him to go away. there are many many honest men out there. be picky and careful.


BitesFoamsRocky 41M
5 posts
3/1/2006 3:39 pm

It´s good that you dumped that guy. Reading your text I can really see that he used your goodheartedness to get his way.
I honestly can not believe what some guys try to get away with.
I wish you luck and hope that you will find a quality guy instead.


rm_Southern_c 38M/38F
2 posts
3/5/2006 9:48 pm

Just be urself... if u think it's a torment then why torture urself? if u think u can't live without, stay on.


rm_Moonman21777 40M
1 post
3/7/2006 3:41 am

to be honest i heard this kind of event way too often already. i happened to be one just like that. my gf left me to be someone else's mistress.. he lied that his wife ran away with another man. but the truth is his wife caught him red-handed with another woman in bed. so she left him. my ex became his so call 'gf' but after a month or two things surfaced.. she was not his only 'gf' there r a few other. so how did this guy manage so many? firstly he is rich, not very handsome but have a lot of friends who r willing to help him hide the truth. even his cousins help him hide his secrets from all his 'gfs'. n u know what? he just keep on doing it to another gals he find pretty n sexy. somehow he turns out to be a rich man's son. that many in sg might know him even in person. well known playboy but many gals still fall for him cos the blink blink. guess money makes the world go round..

just leave the guy who is married. if he can do that to his wife why can't he do the same to u? it's well known fact that some people never change their habit as long as they r getting the reward n thrill they r looking for.

look for another guy who love u n sololy urs. look for the heart that beats for u. not the mouth that talks to u. mouth which sweet talk does nothing but brings pain n lies. mouth is only meant for eating.


salmon5559 53M

3/10/2006 8:54 pm

What a waste! Theres a lot more people waiting for you. Do not abundant the whole forest b cos of one tree.Good luck.......


nmc751 50M
1 post
3/11/2006 1:25 am

Life is short,dun live with sorrow. it get u nowhere and oni will pull u down.

from your testimony, u r not so bad.look forward for a better tomorrow.wat had happen might be a blessing in disguise.
Cheer.


agent0102 35M

3/12/2006 3:28 am

glad you have chosen to leave the guy take care!


rm_kentkent65 53M

3/13/2006 8:28 am

like what all the others had said........its a forest out there.......if u dun like the forest....there's still the oceans......so be happy


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