Ignorance, Apathy & Cynicism  

Seriously_Real 49M
1458 posts
6/29/2006 7:58 am

Last Read:
7/2/2006 4:59 pm

Ignorance, Apathy & Cynicism

How do you feel about ignorance, apathy and cynicsim?

I don't know, I don't care, and it wouldn't matter if I did anyway.


I have always had a hard time letting go of things.



I have a preternatural need to make sense of the world around me, even when it does not make sense.

And it is slowly beginning to dawn on me that on most of the occasions when it does not make sense, it is because it is not my issue. For example, I hate it with all of my being when I am accused of something I have not done. I fight that, argue with it, try to prove my innocence, but when reason, logic and appeals to fairness fail I am left with a realization that sometimes people want to be angry, and do not want to have that anger taken away from them.

So there I am, a convenient target. I'm convenient because it is in my nature to react -- I give the shooter what he or she wants. I satisfy a need that THEY have to be angry, to vent. I am the dog that is home at the end of a bad day, just waiting to be kicked.

Sometimes I deserve it.

Sometimes I don't.

And sometimes I won't understand the motivations no matter how hard I try.

Seems to me, then, that this knowing and this realization is the opposite of ignorance. If you do not know what you do not know, you cannot know all that you need to know.

Well, I know. And I know what I don't know. Whether I need to know is something else entirely, but that's the next level.



I care. I care alot. I care about EVERYTHING. This may be my greatest personal strength and most damning personal weakness. When it counts, I am there. But when it is not about me, or it is something I cannot change, or refuse to accept, or one of those things that does not make sense about which I am ignorant? Yeah. I care about that too. The problem there is that there are just some things that do not merit my emotional energy.

I must learn to stop accepting a role in a drama played by others. I can think of at least two situations in my life right now where people are unhappy "around" me, and I'm making it be "about" me. It isn't about me. It's their issue, not mine.

I have to remind myself not to borrow trouble that I don't need. Borrowing is even worse than accepting, because there is a cost to it to be paid, and I don't even get to own it.

It's not in my nature to just "let" people be unhappy around me, but that doesn't mean I have to accept that facet of my personality without compensating for it.

So it is, then, that today I'm working on a healthy apathy. "I don't care" are words that I can say over and over, but I've got to get in touch with what they mean.

I -- me, my mind, my consciousness, my heart, my impulses, my being

Don't -- absence of, without, inaction, refrain from, choose otherwise, take no step in furtherance of

Care -- take it personally, internalize, own, experience, insert myself into

And all the good little boys and girls of Blogville said "Amen."



They say that cynics are rarely surprised.

I am not a cynic and never have been. Unlike the personality characteristics described above, this is one of my core tenets -- I am an optimist. I look for the best, believe the best, and have rose-colored cataracts. I am not now, and never will be, a man who assumes the worst -- unless it is about me.

Ah, but there's the rub, isn't it? I'm also a self-professed narcissist. It is ALWAYS all about me. Right? Especially when I allow things to affect me that are not my own issue and do not have their origins in me. In that instance, then, my lack of apathy trumps my lack of cynicism.

In other words, when it comes to me, I become a cynic who cares. It sucks.

Thus, I must return to my core tenet in ALL things, not just those that do not concern me. I must return to the optimism that usually colors my world and paint myself with the rosy belief that good things happen most of the time whether we see it or not. I must stop assuming the worst about me and my interpersonal relationships.

I need to have faith.

The serenity to accept the things I cannot change.


How do you feel about ignorance, apathy and cynicism?

I know what to care about and believe that things will find a natural place that is good and peaceful.


Addy19742 44F

6/29/2006 8:15 am

I can be oh so stubborn sometimes. I always take on everyone's problems with the belief I can make it better. I am a caretaker! I recite the serenity pray often. LOL I hang on to things way to long, believing that it is somehow my fault and in all reality like you said it is really not about me, it is them. I of course am so jaded sometimes. I always look for the good, and I am usually blinded by the bad. The ugly truth usually has to smack me in the face several times. So in short, and not to go on and on, I am with ya. It sounds like though you are much better than me. I have a hard time recognizing it until it is too late. Then I am entangled in a big mess. Hugs to you!

Seriously_Real replies on 7/1/2006 6:54 am:
I don't know that I'm so much better than you on this, and we definitely sound like we have similar traits. The key to all of this recognizing it early, and such.

caressmewell 54F

6/29/2006 8:37 am

For example, I hate it with all of my being when I am accused of something I have not done. I fight that, argue with it, try to prove my innocence, but when reason, logic and appeals to fairness fail I am left with a realization that sometimes people want to be angry, and do not want to have that anger taken away from them.

Amen brother!!
I'm so not playing that game anymore...sheesh!

Seriously_Real replies on 7/1/2006 6:55 am:
So easy to say, so hard to do, eh?

bipolybabe 56F

6/29/2006 9:03 am

Since you've said it all, what more could one add?

So, let's fuck instead.

That's my flip answer for just about everything, but the truth is, I really care about great sex. I believe the personal is political, and releasing female sexuality would shift the entire world.

Climbing off my soapbox to go wake my Live-In Penis (LIP) to practice what I preach,



Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!

Seriously_Real replies on 7/1/2006 6:55 am:
I swear to goddess that you have a one track mind. Are you sure you aren't a guy?


6/29/2006 9:38 am

I choose to be informed about things that affect me and the world I live in. I am happy to oblige ignorance in all other matters. I am humanly empathic with an wise apathetic foundation. I am cynical about everything and everyone knowing from my personal mistakes and those around me but confident with hope that their next step will be a better one. It seems to be the formula to have to live the serenity prayer...works for me. Blog on! {=}

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

Seriously_Real replies on 7/1/2006 6:56 am:
Humanly empathic with an apathetic foundation....hmmm....that's cool, if a little hard to wrap my tiny head around.

rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
6/29/2006 9:49 am

Everybody gets mad at me cause I ask alot of pesty questions, they say "Why does everything upset you so much, its none of your business anyway?", and they are always shocked that I am shocked by something.

I always thought those were good traits myself.

Seriously_Real replies on 7/1/2006 6:57 am:
They are until they affect your happiness, saint. In my view of the world, everything that I let affect me will, and everything that I don't won't. I'm just not real good at choosing what I do and don't.

JustaSeeker 107F

6/29/2006 10:07 am

Honey, what on earth is the matter now? I thought it was all rosy and good again in your world, or at least most of it so it's perplexing to hear. Grab your Imaginary and have some romps and you'll feel better. Oh, yeah, you're pooped.

Seriously_Real replies on 7/1/2006 6:57 am:
I'm good, Unwendy. Way good.

Mermaidslut 51F

6/29/2006 11:18 am

Sharing oxygen with others, is the greatest gift we have...

Deal with it!

Seriously_Real replies on 7/1/2006 6:58 am:
Some people need to get their own oxygen tank....

seek_u_topia 52M

6/29/2006 11:21 am

I find that just being content with myself is a difficult proposition. I think it's called maturity/wisdom, and i haven't yet acheived it. You fight things because of your energy and passion, I believe. You do seem the eternal optimist...even Panglossian.

Your passion is what drives you..steer clear of the negative and if you have ups and downs, so be it. Hang in there my friend...

Seriously_Real replies on 7/1/2006 6:58 am:
Ooooh. Panglossian! OUCH!

I resemble that remark!

TheRealThing655 49F
9558 posts
6/29/2006 12:49 pm

That was an incredible post...I have to read it over. You are so good at this shit
You put into words what so many of us feel, not just you my friend.

Seriously_Real replies on 7/1/2006 7:00 am:
Thank you Sister Real. Every now and then I say stuff for me.

PrincessKarma 44F
6188 posts
6/29/2006 1:00 pm

I can roll all three attitudes into one little word:


The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

Seriously_Real replies on 7/1/2006 7:01 am:
Oh no you di-int.

MoonRise9 59M

6/29/2006 3:16 pm

That "Wisdom to know the difference" part can be a slippery slope, and "the difference" itself often seems to be a moving target, depending on a person's perspective.

Seriously_Real replies on 7/1/2006 7:01 am:
Ain't that the truth. If knowing the difference were easy, then we wouldn't need wisdom, now would we?

rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
6/30/2006 6:58 pm

Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I think that the chances of finding out what's actually going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say, "Hang the sense of it," and keep yourself busy. I'd much rather be happy than right any day. -- Slartibartfast

(Not that I necessarily manage that philosophy myself very often but it sure sounds good some days...but dang it all staying busy doesn't necessarily bring happiness...maybe it depends what you're staying busy doing...I remember the days when I managed to fit in sex 3x a day...in retrospect those days seemed pretty happy )

Seriously_Real replies on 7/1/2006 7:03 am:
It's kinda hard to be sad when you're having good sex three times a day.

Then again, apparently it is possible to have bad sex if you are a woman. But then again, why would you do it three times a day? Except, of course, if he loaded with cash. (This last remark comes from My Imaginary and her best friend from college who, I must say, is more than a little jaded.)

bipolybabe 56F

7/1/2006 9:37 am

Seriously_Real replies on 7/1/2006 6:55 am:

I swear to goddess that you have a one track mind. Are you sure you aren't a guy?

Let me go check.

Returns 30 minutes later with a grin on face.




Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!

seek_u_topia 52M

7/2/2006 10:34 am

LOL...I meant Panglosian in a good way...the way in which the optimist Voltaire intended I think! LIVE my friend! I admire that in you.

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