Helpless  

Seriously_Real 49M
1458 posts
4/6/2006 9:10 am

Last Read:
4/7/2006 8:23 am

Helpless

Once, when I was a dumb teenager, I parked my car on the slope of a steep, curving driveway on the edge of a hill. The house was on the right; it was twenty feet down on the left.

The car was a standard transmission, and I left it in neutral, but I pulled up the emergency brake. I liked to start the car without using the clutch, because I was a lazy teenager.

I went inside to see a girl -- a girl that wasn't my girlfriend. Karma came with me.

About 5 minutes in, I looked out the window and saw my car moving...backwards...slowly at first....and speeding up just like the growing realization in my brain.

I watched it roll off the driveway and plummet 10 feet, vertically over the edge to the ground below.

I thought I had the brake under control. I didn't. It engaged, but it didn't hold.

WHY is happened is NOT the point of this story.

The point of the story is the utter helplessness I felt watching my car gather steam backwards heading for the edge and the drop. I was powerless to catch it. I had no ability to fix the mistake. I could only watch it bottom out and hear the crunch as it met the earth below in the bewildered neighbor's yard.

It probably took 10 seconds, start to finish, but it was in slow motion for me. The powerlessness was paralyzing.

I hate that feeling.

--Seriously (Watching)

P.S. -- One critical addendum to this story: During the fall, I was helpless. Afterwards, I was not. I could and did call a tow truck. I could and did fix the damage. No, that car was never the same, but it was mine and it was perfect after all. It ended up being my favorite of all of them from my youth.


JustaSeeker 107F

4/6/2006 9:44 am

Are you saying that you're watching a situation now that's slowly heading for the inevitable carcrash? If it's what I think it is, it's sort of more like a trainwreck. But I could be wrong. If it's something else, don't regret being powerless to affect it, just be there. Friends can help or you can always call the wrecker and have the carcass towed in later. But don't try to fix it yourself, leave that job to the professionals.


Seriously_Real replies on 4/7/2006 5:51 am:
Yup. All of that. Yup.

aascrompn 43M
6444 posts
4/6/2006 10:24 am

I am that very car...


Seriously_Real replies on 4/6/2006 10:43 am:
I am that tow truck.

seek_u_topia 52M

4/6/2006 10:35 am

helplessness sucks. but sometimes, in fact quite often, we are helpless relative to most people and happenings. watching though makes it more intense. just be ready when it's over...and help make it all better


Seriously_Real replies on 4/7/2006 5:51 am:
I'm ready.

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
4/6/2006 11:00 am

I figured that was what this was about. Good post.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


Seriously_Real replies on 4/7/2006 5:52 am:
Thanks.

caressmewell 55F

4/6/2006 12:49 pm

Sheesh..what did I do now? Just kidding.

Have I told you today that I love you? If not..I do.


Seriously_Real replies on 4/7/2006 5:53 am:
No, you didn't tell me. But I'm glad you did. Love you, too.

bardicman 51M

4/6/2006 1:26 pm

I have discovered that I am not hurt by falls.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Them sudden stops at the bottom are a real bitch though.



I am not dead yet


Seriously_Real replies on 4/7/2006 5:53 am:
Amen.

GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
4/6/2006 3:34 pm

Seriously_Real replies on 4/6/2006 10:43 am:
I am that tow truck.


~hugz~

that's the real essence


Seriously_Real replies on 4/7/2006 5:54 am:
Thank you, GOTD. hugz back.

rm_impish_pixie 55F
6867 posts
4/6/2006 8:16 pm

OMG..you just made me remember something that I had long ago forgotten. Yep..I got the essence too..and the metaphor. But...I also remembered the day, (2 wks after I got my license), when I had to jump start my alternator with a screwdriver (just like my daddy had taught me in case it died before I got to the station), (and YES...I was attempting independence and wanted to do it BY MYSELF), the car jumped out of Neutral, slammed me in the back with the car door knocking me over just shy of the back wheel when my coat got hung up on the open door and my car (dragging me along of course), slammed into our neighbors house. Yes...I said neighbor...I was only 3 houses away from home. When I was finally able to untangle myself and run screaming hysterically into my house, and into my daddy's arms, I'll never forget that he said, "See baby, sometimes we all need a little help - you don't have to do everything alone." Big lesson I learned that day. When I think back to the many different ways I could have been killed that day, I realize how lucky I was to not only have a daddy who was more worried about me than the house or the car, but I also learned that being independent did not mean doing stupid shit just to prove I could. Thanks for the giggle!!

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn


Seriously_Real replies on 4/7/2006 5:55 am:
Funny how we get spared for bigger, things, no? And man -- I totally get the stubbornness....I know someone very much like that....

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