Serenely_Yours 118
10210 posts
4/5/2006 5:49 am

Last Read:
4/6/2006 3:25 am


What a day today!
Again, someone almost throw a shoe at me. I called security and someone was then sent away. If that person is not coming back to talk to me calmly or even politely, I dun think I can continue to see. Well, I gave myself applause. Where on earth did I find myself, able to still listen to people like that rattling away!?!?
This is not the worst side. Maybe oneday I may turn to someone who have to help me instead. Think about the positive end. To forgive is a virtue. Just have to learn to speak with these people the right way.

Why are people out of control with their anger? If anyone had watched the movie ANGER MANAGEMENT starring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson, it is not supposed to be funny.

Anyway I like to share some info about it.

Many think that people with anger problem are the ones who yell, scream and get physically aggressive. But not showing your anger is an unhealthy way of dealing with anger. But how much can you control and let go?

You cannot avoid anger any more than you can avoid conflict. Yet many people still believe that being anger-free is the ultimate sign of emotional health. In fact, those who appear not to have a problem with anger are actually the ones most in need of help. This is going to affect ones' lives.

My colleagues do worry that I have not much of reaction when I have been screamed at. So where is my anger?! I always said that I could filter it. But how? Positive thinking. Substitute my mind.

Some surprising things are red herrings for seeing red. Gossiping about others, swearing a lot and being a perfectionist are all signs of an unhealthy anger style. So is turning most of your conversations into debates and assuming others are against you.

Some other indicators that you have a problem with your anger:

1 )You allow others to hurt you with their anger
2 )You are afraid to express your anger
3 )You find sneaky ways of getting back at people instead of expressing your anger directly
4 )Your way of expressing anger leaves you feeling helpless and powerless
5 )You allow others to emotionally or physically abuse your children

The key to expressing anger healthfully is to do it assertively; not aggressively or passively.

The first step in changing your anger style is to express it in the opposite way from what you normally do and to start out small. So if you do not like confronting people, try expressing how you feel to rude strangers for a week. Then work up to a friend or your spouse.

The most effective way of expressing this emotion is to translate it into clear, non-blaming statements that establish boundaries. These statements should contain two thoughts: the fact that you are angry and the reason why, and what you want the other person to do about it. Express your anger in a simple way.

Think and say, " I am angry because...So I want you to..."

Avoiding "you" messages as they put the person being addressed on the defensive, and can make the person saying that they feel helpless. Using "I" statements help you take responsibility. You should also avoid name-calling, insults and using the words "never" or "always".

Body language is also important to assertive anger communication. It is best to maintain good eye contact and pay attention to your facial expressions and hand gestures. Keeping track of your tone of voice, volume and inflection is also a good idea.

Anger is a normal and healthy emotion. It is how we deal with it that turns it into a negative.


٭ ˚ °◦○☻ Serenely Yours ☺○◦° ˚ ٭

goodtry 56M
918 posts
4/5/2006 8:35 pm


People show anger because they want things to be done their way. An argument occur when both party involved were not on the same frequency be it self inflicted or external element. Some how or rather one party have to give way in order to resolve the dispute.

In your case you choose to resolve the argument in a humble way rather than trying to drive it thru knowing that the other party wants his/her way out and you don't loose our in any way either even if you were to eat humble pie. However in certain circumstance where the situtation gone out of control then third party which is the security personnel were normally activated.

Sometime being a good listener can help to resolve a lot of conflict. Well when things is over it's over so don't feel angry about it anymore, thinks like this happen almost everyday. Just tell yourself tomorrow will be better.

Koffla 61M
55163 posts
4/5/2006 8:18 am

I watched that movie with Adam Sandler and was very dissapointed. It was a great opportunity to educate millions of people about this common problem. I work with victims of domestic abuse and run anger management groups and I was expecting more. Too bad it was used for enetertainment only. Is my friendloverpartner an abusive person Read the warning signs


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rm_boredsg25 39M

4/5/2006 6:54 am

yup yup nice article. Me need it lol hehe. Thks for posting

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