What's the point of being you then?????  

SerendipitysKiss 41F
33 posts
1/15/2006 4:46 pm

Last Read:
4/13/2006 2:15 am

What's the point of being you then?????

Alright ya'll....Something very interesting occured the other day. I know that my first thought was OMG UR KIDDING RIGHT?? But now that I've pondered it for a while. I'd like to know what you think.

My sister and I have met quite a few ppl on this site, and I must say....Some of them have become a very important part of my world. I've been quite content with my world since I came to this site, and I have grown so very much. I can remember a time when I didn't want anyone to know that I liked both sexs, or that I didn't get off unless the sex was a bit unusual. No matter what I like tho, I never thought one of us would act like those who look down their nose at "swingers, bi-sexual, group, whatever....(insert lable here)* would cross that line, to the pointer insted of being pointed at. *sighs*

I have gone thru my fazes on this site, and now yes...I'd like to have somone to spoon with, to hold me, or just watch tv with. Not marriage, but come on we all need love at some point. Anyway, I wonder how many people actually think the way this person does.

So please respond....

I heard someone say the other day that they needed to change their playpeople and playthings becuase now they want to have a "Relationship" To find someone special to spend time with. So because of this decision they needed to change their group of friends. I think the exact words were..."I'm ready to have a relationship again, so I need to change my circle of friends because I am not meeting the kind of ppl I'd share that with."

Maybe I'm over sensative, however, what does that mean? Does that mean people that you've hung out with, become friends with, SLEEPWITH -the sleeping part, or even share a large part of your world with are just good enough to have sex with, but hey, ur not good enough to take home to mom?

SOOOOOOOOOOO............My question is, Would you rather have someone reserved, possibly unaware of their wild side, denying what they may enjoy? Or someone who has faced a world full of lables, and the possible judgement which usually points to "slut" or whatever...??? Is it really easier to turn your back on this part of your life, and pick someone who isn't of this "lifestyle" And when it comes down to it, doesn't that make you what we all seem to hate?

I dont know the answer, I do know I wont change being the freespirit I am only to store that part of me away until it explodes or I resent the very reason I decided to make that change in the first place?

I have seen a few people do this, and in the end, I see them back here. Why can't we make it work together, wouldn't it be nice to feel whole, instead of having to hide a piece of you which very well may be why we never feel compeletely fufilled?

HELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP hehe i feel so lost.

rightlaneturn4u 42M
2 posts
1/15/2006 6:00 pm

Everything is not always black or white, right or wrong. Sometimes it is just a fork in the road. Rather than always being wrong, sometimes it's simply an option. Darling if you need to experiment and find out who you are and what you need out if life, then now is the timeto do it. Get married, and ten years down the road you'll be right back to where you are now. Everyone needs someone to hang out with, to pal around with, etc. You are on a sex personals site, most people here could care less about you, they just want to "tap the tang." It's well advised to have sex partners who can also be friends. Look for someone that you can trust, someone who actually seems to care alittle bit about you. For goodness sake, if you are going to open yourself to them sexually, atleast find someone decent who won't mind spending some time with you in a non sexual enviroment. People are ruthless, if they know that you do things sexually that they deam as perverted then they will say things about you. Religious beliefs aside, if you believe in a higher power at all, then ask for help from that source. I hope I have said something to benefit you, if not, then know that a decent man took time to think about your problem and respond. I probably will never meet you, but I want you to know that someone out there is going to see what a treasure that you are, just as you are. If you ever want to chat just give me a hollar at AdultFriendFinder

SerendipitysKiss 41F
17 posts
1/16/2006 5:54 am

Thank you for all you've said to this point. I do appreciate that you took time to respond @right, that's the point. I was most concerned with weather or not the majority of men on this site felt that way. That's the thing, this is something that i've seen happen with more than one of my friends. And they happen to be people that I do trust and care about. I even have no doubt they care back, so then what's the difference between someone who's open and someone whos "good enuf to take home to mom?"

Artimus4U 56F

1/16/2006 4:24 pm


I have talked to many people from this site that make statements like " its only AdultFriendFinder" ... my response... I treat no one differently no matter where I meet them. The topics of conversation may be different, but the way I treat them never is.

I do understand the limitations on the relationships though. Long term commitments mean people who are growing long term in ways you want to go. Do you want to live in the county, city, sparsely, lavishly... do you spend time alone? Party wildly? there are lots of spaces in between.

Who to take home to mom? well... I have taken them all home at differnt times... why? Because I enjoy people... and enjoy passionate people so it dosent much matter what in particular they are passionate about ( unless its gross or politics LOYou can learn more about the world from a person who is passionate about a subject.

Then again, I am not looking to impress my family. They either like it or no. I dont bother to ask.

My parties are always the best, because its funny to watch the far left and right mix and even find common ground.

My own personal take on decision making? There is no point on taking a stance on most points until you have to. All the data isnt in. Keep taking it in until you decide you want to take a stance or you have to... Is that a politicians game? Maybe, but for me its smart to not "decide" and stop taking notes.


Bard of Norcal

HeardSurerAmnia 46M
8 posts
1/16/2006 8:04 pm

I know exactly what you mean....I get a little dismayed because I am a very empathic and I love to cuddle and get close and yet I don't want to lose my animal side and my lust. Plus its soo hard to tell how much or long a committment will be till after your in or out of it...right?!
I keep up my hopes and options that somehow the best of both worlds will meet...I think i have some friends that have achieved it!...so I am alittle more then hopeful...

SerendipitysKiss 41F
17 posts
1/16/2006 9:16 pm

*smiles* I truely am blessed to have friends like you in my life Arti, ppl like you and lillith, blue, and a few others, the honesty and the insite you offer is always well received by me. I enjoy the way you live your lives and continually learn from you all.

Nice to know you go thru some of the same things. It puts a little perspective on the whole situation. *winks*


SensuallyDom 65M  
2 posts
1/17/2006 1:48 am

Puff The Magic Dragon...(verse four)
A dragon lives forever but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys.
One gray night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And PUFF that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

So it is the thought process of the person who said they needed to change their "play-people" and playthings because now they want to have a "Relationship;" to find someone special to spend time with. So because of this decision they needed to change their group of friends. I think the exact words were..."I'm ready to have a relationship again, so I need to change my circle of friends because I am not meeting the kind of ppl I'd share that with."

AdultFriendFinder, swing parties, and even the club scene are all part of the land of Honah Lee.

Consider this:
We play in the snow, but we go home to get warm and dry.
We play in the mud, but we take our shoes and outer clothing off so as not to drag the mud in with us.
For a vast number of people, AdultFriendFinder is seen as a Disneyland of friends and frolic. For many, whatever "friends" are made, are just the characters there. Then, at some point, they "go home." While this might not be a conscious thought, it's still the way we're programmed to treat entertainment and reality...play places and home.

Some of us realize that we've met, played with, and otherwise interacted with living, caring human beings. We accept the "lifestyle" we've entered as our own reality, as our "home." The friends we make, we take home. They become a significant part of our lives.

It is unfortunate that not everyone can recognize this, even though they have lived it. It makes one wonder just what their motives have been all along. BiCurious Wife mentions she has been living a double life. However, to her credit, she lives them both. She lives in her truth; anyone who denies one life for another, they are lying...mostly to themselves.

Artimus, I admire your written thoughts as they show you are true to yourself, and that is what we all have to be first and foremost. For how can we nurture trust in others and from others when we cannot be truthful to ourselves?

As for those who have played a game here with a poker face, and now wish to depart from our presence as if we were the plague, it is you who will live with your "secrets" and harbor anxieties for return when things are on the down side, when you miss the type of people you met here. Unfortunately, like a drunk driver, they usually hurt someone else. You leave behind those who believed in you..not just playmates and playthings.

I hope this helps someone.

rm_nineman_74 43M
2 posts
1/18/2006 11:11 pm

YOU SOUND LIKE I AdultFriendFinder

SirluvsStorms 47M
684 posts
1/30/2006 11:36 pm

My profile is up just cuz you asked and I got permission

sled69head 43M

3/14/2008 8:36 pm

I don't think that anyone should have to comprimse who they are in order to achieve someone else's perception of happiness. I may be an optimist, but damnit why can't you have your cake and eat it too? If your family truly loves you, they are not going to reject you because you met your partner on a sex site. Ultimately, in order to be truly happy, one has to be true to oneself, if you inhibit the soul from it's desires, part of it will dwindle and die. You have to love yourself first..... if you don't love yourself, how do you expect anyone else to love you?

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