Can a man and a woman coworker that are attracted to each other be just Friends?  

Seekinganswers05 49M
2 posts
5/10/2005 12:39 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Can a man and a woman coworker that are attracted to each other be just Friends?

Now that the introductions are done, I am excited to start my real bloging. Is bloging a real word? Not sure, but I think that I will save that issue for when I run out of everything else. No use boring you to death just yet.

In the not to distant past men would go to work and woman would stay at home. It was the male’s role to be the bread winner and the woman’s role to raise the kids. But like with everything else - things change over time. Now in this great modern world we live in we have women working side by side with men in just about every type of work place. This has added a new twist to the work place and male/female relationships.

Can a man and a woman coworker that are attracted to each other be just Friends?

Let me tell you about what has happened to me. About 3 years ago a new member was added to our engineering team. She was early 30’s short red hair and brown eyes. Not beautiful but attractive in her own way. I am not usually attracted to woman with short hair so I really did not pay her much attention at first. Then I had a couple of dealings with her and she struck me as a ROYAL B*T*H. No interest in this one. But then I started having to deal with her on a daily bases and I began to realize that I may of made a mistake. So I decided to try a get to know her. It went slow at first just talking but then we started having lunch every other week. I learned that she was a very intelligent, witty and sarcastic lady. We had fun together at lunch. She told me about her marriage, school, hobbies and interest. One day she floored me by say that she had lived a sheltered life and that the reason she is a b*t*h to people is that ‒ she did not want people to think she would sleep with them. Then she turned around and told me not to worry if she was “B*t*hy” to me because she did not want people to think that we were sleeping together.

Ok, I know what most of you are thinking. If you’re a guy ‒ you’re thinking that I am nailing her. Right? Wrong!!!!!!! By this point, I was having problems in my marriage and I had gotten to know her. To be TOTALLY TRUTHFUL, I did not only like her, I had a lot of RESPECT for her. The lunches, the conversations went on and we were having a lot of fun. I was excited just to meet and talk to her. I started looking forward to seeing her smile and those big brown eyes. I would see her in the hall and she would flash me a little smile or a wave.

But then one day everything changed. If I could change anything in my past I would change this day. We had gone to lunch and had a wonderful time. After lunch we were getting ice cream and she noticed my boots, they were elephant skinned. Ok all you animal lovers ‒ Don’t throw me to the cross just yet. I got them when I was 18. Does this make it right? No but the young do make mistakes, the mature learn from those mistakes. Well to make a long story short it REALLY, REALLY upset her. I hate seeing her upset. I promised her that I would not only stop warring them to work, I would get rid of them. Which I did. From this day everything changed.

We still speak some times and email each other. She even has lunch with me once in a while- not often, maybe once every six ‒ eight months. Its like she does not want to get close to me anymore. When I see her in the Hall though she will flash me a big smile and a wave. I swear that I see something in her eyes or maybe I am just imagining it. So I believe that she still would like to be friends. Now here is what I think really happened. I saw she was upset. I showed her that I care about her. This scares her, she is married. She should not have feelings for another man. I will admit ‒ I do care for her. But if I could only be friends with her that would be fine, I do not need to sleep with her. I found our relationship that we had to be very fulfilling and I hate the way things are between us now.

So, should I make one more effort to straighten things out or should I just let it go? If I try to fix it ‒ How should I do it?

Can a man and woman have a fulfilling relationship with out SEX?

What do you THINK?

FeralRogerSuing 49M
6 posts
5/13/2005 2:04 pm

To answer you question --- Yes. But in your case I would have to agree that she likes you and that the best thing to do is just take it easy. If you push you will scare her off. But if she wants you to advance she will let you know.

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