Smut Rock Sexy
 
The musings of a single polyandrist (similar to a single monogamist, only polyvariation, right?) woman. Also childfree, not from here (foreign accent, hey?) Looking for my misters Right (and misters Nearly Right, too). I'm either a schizophrenic or a psychic, my money is on the latter, of course, I'm a certified life coach, soulmate expert, a tarot reader, and a struggling business owner and so forth.
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Cultural observations; there's 0 hook up culture in Hobart.
Posted:Apr 27, 2018 8:08 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2018 8:10 pm
620 Views

I love my adopted home town. It is the most beautiful place in the world, I love every nook and cranny of it. There's only one problem. By 12 on a weekend night, the streets are vacant. There's NOBODY anywhere. (It does offer some opportunities, but more on that later.) The nightlife is notoriously rubbish in Hobart.

Last night, I went to Men's Gallery, one of those rare opportunities to coax someone out in Hobart, and my usual place of choice is the local strip club. This makes as much sense as my foreys in the swinger club of Hobart, but there is only one other option; the gay bar, and then there'd be very little room for explanation for "being straight". I do love to see two men get it on, but whatever, another post.

So what I realized yesterday, sitting alone at the Gallery, while my friend was having a private dance, that there is 0 hook up culture in Hobart. People here go out to "have a drink with friends", which is an absolutely nonsensical thing to do. Why on EARTH would anyone want to GO OUT to have a drink with friends? If you want to hang out with your friends, you do it at home, right? And that's what most Hobartians do on a weekend.

I am a European however. Finnish to be exact. When we go out, we go out looking to get laid. There's no freaking airs about it, even if you pretend not to be hooking up, you're there to hook up. You may not be open to sleeping with a new person THAT VERY NIGHT, but you are definitely there to find someone new to progress to that point down the line, in a week or two. Every club is a single's club. Otherwise, they make 0 sense.

I have had awesome nights out in towns half the size of Hobart in Finland, no place shutting doors before 4, which has always given everyone the shits, as "we are the only a country backward enough to close night clubs at 4 AM instead of 6 or 10 AM!" (How you don't know what you've got...) (And you know that if the night clubs would close at 10, people would continue shopping after getting a feed at the breakfast bar and be in bed by 1PM, only to go out again as soon as they wake up. THAT's how a weekend should be.)

It's not the size of the town that is the problem in Hobart, (god damned there's people around when the clock chimes "everyone get into your car and drive somewhere") it is the culture. Everyone is so fucking asexual by their behavior, that nobody would ever admit or confess going out looking to hook up, not even to themselves. There's really no point of trying, either, as you maybe looking to hook up, but you're alone in that pursuit and that makes it very, very fruitless indeed. You maybe at a pub or a club full of people (around 8pm) but nobody is even looking around at other people there. It's like everyone is fully focussed on their friends like nobody else existed.

That's why I keep joking that to get laid in Hobart, you need to at least have a cousin here. (Mitä serkumpaa sen herkumpaa!) You hook up through friends of friends, and the Hobartians take "not talking to strangers" freaking seriously... At night. When the stranger might get ideas...

And if you are not really into standard people, and your only friends here are somewhat straight laced, you're screwed. Actually, the opposite of screwed. You're dry spelled.

Thank god for AdultFriendFinder, but AdultFriendFinder only works for women, it seems. The same goes for every other dating site apparently. Men all say the same thing, every girl is a fake. At first, I thought they just don't get a reply and think the profile is what is called "a dummy account" in the business, but it seems that there simply AREN'T many girls around and even I, after a while, even though I feel completely opposed to charging men for sex, it feels almost irresponsible to not do it. You get to go out as much as you have energy for, get laid as often as you wish (if you're not too fussy at least) and if you are open to having fun, there's really no end of supply... And then you have to keep rejecting men who are talking to a real girl for the first time in months. It feels awful. With such desperation around, it feels STUPID not to capitalize on it, but to me, it would take the fun out of it. The only time the idea works for me is to tip the power balance back into his corner. "You pay, you choose, your game." Of course, women have taken that out of the equation too. "You pay, I choose, my game, you obey." Bleh, bleh, and bleh. So I won't go there.

Anyway... I have to do something about this and start up something... Find the fucking sexually frustrated europeans that haven't lost their mojo yet... And the aussies who wish to learn from the naturally promisquous.

Fuck... The biggest frustration, by the way... I would proudly bring anyone into Men's Gallery, no drama. The place is classy and nice and the girls look hot as (they're visually not the least bit offensive even though I am so straight I don't understand why men eat pussy, and hate ugly women like nothing else. It's like you have one job. You have ONE JOB, and you fucked it up.) So yeah the point being that the Men's Gallery SHOULD work. There's 0 wrong with it. It's just this town and its non-sexual culture.

I walked back to my car at 12 on a Friday night. The only place that still seemed active was the fucking wine bar. Do you think I drink wine? That says so much about Tasmania, they even get drunk sophisticated. They put so much effort in being cultured, that they kill the fucking soul of this place.

Oh well, stick your pinky up and get on with it.

S
1 comment
Who's to judge?
Posted:Apr 26, 2018 3:49 am
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2018 12:13 am
609 Views

I know most of you here are relatively sexually liberated, but still, many hide this side to themselves. Here's the thing... So many people cannot decide for themselves what they think about stuff, so they go with whatever the popular consensus about something is. A hundred years ago they were hanging people for being gay, now it's a social taboo to shun gays, which is a complete turn for the better.

Now, let's take straight pride and straight rights on board.

Slut shaming, skirt chasing... Does anyone really get a say in how we get laid other than the people we get laid with? Don't people simply need to learn to say no, rather than gasp at the fact someone suggested something? "Sexual harassment" isn't the same as "an unwanted sexual pass", people need to learn the god damned difference. With the #meToo campaign, the people are gasping at grown women having to say "no" to a grown man suggesting sex, and equating it to suggesting sex to a child tied to a bed. (The assumption "he'll ruin my career if I don't put out is sexist and presumptuous and not based on factual evidence even in Weinstens' case. Sure, the man is a perv, but at least one woman who said no have gotten herself an Oscar, now wondering "if it was BECAUSE he felt ashamed"? Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Just take the damned golden naked guy and be happy, god damned.)

Anyway... The only way the squares can control the perves is if the perves give them a time of day. Just let them say whatever they want. Make sure your business partners feel the same way about this as you do, and just pig out.

The only reason why there's nobody giving a damn about what these people are moaning about is because we assume NO WOMAN WOULD EVER like that, or say yes to this or that if they didn't feel they had to... That's utter rubbish. Us perv girls need to start making noise, too.

Bad girls belong to bad boys, and bad boys belong to bad girls, and the goody-two-shoes can get themselves husbands at the country club... (Of course, us bad girls are fucking their husbands behind their backs, but... As long as it looks right on the outside is all that matters to these people, it seems.)

Let's not play along anymore. Let them judge and slut shame and shun us perves all they want, it's not like we give a shit about THEIR opinion, we just fear other perves actually, deep down, share that opinion... While in reality, we all watch it feeling a little sad and afraid of what more is to come...

At this rate, we'll read headlines like this in year 2050: "A woman's husband impregnates her using traditional methods to avoid IVF costs..." *Gasp and horror!*
0 Comments
So I had the best time at a swinger's meet and greet last night...
Posted:Apr 20, 2018 7:51 pm
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2018 6:23 am
693 Views

I am not going to go into the deepest level of detail of my observations, but I had such awesome time sorting out my mixed feelings after dropping into a swinger's club's meet and greet for a couple of hours before being the first person to rush off the room. It was a good thing, too, that I couldn't stay for the whole night, because I was already pissing someone off without realizing how I did it, because I am not really a swinger. I am a polyandrist, but not a swinger, in essence, close, but no cigar.

So, I am a natural polyandrist, meaning that whatever I CHOOSE to do, my natural alignment is polyandry, meaning that I am "built" to form lasting romantic and sexual relationships to several men in a marriage-like arrangement. I am not a serial monogamist, although that is often how polyandrous women wind up being in a monogamous society, but I am a polyandrist. The natural way for me to live would be to share a house with my several husbands and live and love in that way. That is my code for happiness.

Being a polyandrist woman makes me the odd one out in all events where there's a lot of women around. As logic would dictate, to make matching possible, most women are polygynous by their natural alignment where as most men are polyandrous. Hence all the drama in relationships, as the most likely match is a polyandrous man to a polygynous woman, which creates a mess between two inherently incompatible people. In events where there are mainly men, I am the odd one out because of my gender, but not by the way I think, as most men, like myself, are naturally polyandrous. This has always caused difficulties in my relationships with women, as I don't instinctively understand what they're on about, any more than what they understand me.

So here's this delicious emotional mess I got into with a handsome but relatively new couple I met at the meet. (So this was drinks only, so no on-site sex was on the menu, but of course, I'm sure people would continue to each others’ houses from there. I had no intention to actually go anywhere with anyone unless a one-in-a-million type a guy would show up, equally misplaced as I was, and he didn't, but...) There was an instant chemistry I felt with one of the men who walked in. For a second, I thought he was alone, but he was with a woman, like most men, short for one or two, were. No drama, that was to be expected.

I must point out that most people are completely unaware of their natural polyleaning, and this causes interesting situations in social interactions even in professional settings. I already knew that at a swinger's party, I was going to be on "enemy territory" so to speak, so I wasn't quite sure how I was going to play it. I declared my heterosexuality a little bit too much, as it is the closest thing explaining polyandry to a bunch of likely unaware-of-it polygynists and polygamists without going into detail, but most polygynist women think they're straight. This is because women think it is natural to feel sexually attracted to other women, as it is, so they don’t interpret “straight” the same way as actually straight women do. So there was a miscommunication there... Several of them, actually.

This is the most interesting situation I wound up in:

So this guy I feel an instant chemistry to must be a natural polyandrist because otherwise, he'd be lukewarm water to me. We also understood each others’ body language and glances, which doesn't happen between polygynist men and polyandrous women, who are just as clueless about each other than polyandrous and polygynous women are of each other. Polyandrous men are used to dealing with polygynous women, even though it doesn't happen naturally, they've figured them out, more or less. This is because most men are polyandrous and most women are polygynous, even though the vast majority is oblivious to it, as I said. Monogamous society forces polygynous women and polyandrous men into relationships that are completely unnatural to them.

So back to the night: He is clearly interested, but doesn't jump into it as he's assessing whether he's reading the situation wrong, where's the man; who is in charge of me... That is how (most) polyandrists think: men are in charge. "If I want to fuck a man's wife, I'll have to ask his permission", and I agree. I chat with plenty of people before they finally approach me, him before her.

Eventually, she joins the conversation, and I sense a familiar hostility from her, which I am a little surprised by nonetheless because all of these women are nearly flirting with me in comparison. This is, however, what I'm used to, but she doesn't hide her annoyance well, which is very unusual.

As I first sensed her annoyance and knew she was interested IN ME, I explained I was straight, to which she replied with an annoyed tone: "Yeah I'm straight, too, and I don't like pretending to be gay just to sleep with someone else's husband." That didn't make any sense to me at all, as she was CLEARLY interested in me, which to me signaled major bisexual vibes. She also mentions "someone else's husband", which, to me is English for "......" - exactly nothing. What do I care if he's married or not, right, if he wants me, then clearly, he isn't REALLY married, because that's the way MY brain works.

As a heterosexual polyandrist, I normally pay 0 attention to women. It's like they don't exist. I am not interested. I am friendly with them, but only if they approach me and I HAVE TO be friendly, just so I'm not being a bitch. Otherwise, if they fall off the planet I won't notice. The only women I get along with with ease are other polyandrist women because their primary focus is also on men, not on women. I could talk about men all day, every day, without feeling at all annoyed about "us women not having anything else to talk about besides men", because hell, what else is there?! The Polyandrist women could make a living talking about all the wonderful men in this world - me for certain.

So I'm already puzzled with her, she is annoyed because I bring up being straight, "like it mattered here", I could almost hear her thoughts, but she seems to forgive me because I'm a first timer and explains she too, is "straight".

"So how are we going to get your attention?!" she finally snaps at me. That makes 0 sense to me at that point, because I've been talking to them for at least a half an hour by then, but after analyzing it all at home, I realized what she meant. Even though I live and breathe sexual relationships, human interaction in a sexual context and namely poly relationships on a daily basis, my practical forays to the world of the poly people, especially the polygynist variant, are limited to say the least. (I study psychology in spirit, but the experience isn't 100% comparable to the real life obviously, but FUUUCK is it educational!) Still, this didn't instantly click.

So I laugh it off as I have no idea what got her so pissed off so fast, but I know I did something wrong. And here's what I did: I flirted with her boyfriend, NOT with her. I was supposed to be wheeling and dealing over his immediate sexual future with her, not with him. As a polyandrist, this doesn't jive with me at all, because I want to win HIM over, not her. I want HIM to decide he wants to fuck my brain out, and if she deals him to me, what the fuck is the achievement in that? That's taking us both for babies, the way I feel. I don't give two shits about her opinion on me, but to her, a man is mainly a tool to bond with women. To a polygynist, the achievement is in talking another woman into handing over her husband. In my books, that makes her a full-blown lesbian.

The other part to her annoyance was this: To share a husband or a boyfriend with someone means that the women agree each other to be hot and "worthy". This is the same exact thing that goes on with polyandrists in reverse; they want to share their wives or girlfriends with men who they deem to be worthy. When I went over her head about her boyfriend, she considered it being dismissive of her, as she had already extended the olive branch so to speak.

Anyway, not knowing what exactly I did wrong, I kinda excuse myself to a pair of stone-faced people before I go home, which also baffled me. She said she'd email me later, another faux pas on my part - I gave my card to him, not her - but by the time I was leaving, they were both vacantly staring into the distance rather than saying goodbye to me like people normally would. This was far from what I'd expect to see with "let's have sex later" people, but what happened there, and again, I had to read her emotion by comparing her reaction to his reaction, which I CAN read; he was disappointed this didn't go the way he hoped, and to hide the disappointment, people go stone-faced. The odd thing was they BOTH did it, which wouldn't normally happen in any other social circumstance, and in any situation I’d normally get into, she would still happily say good bye to me, even if he was staring into the distance pretending not to notice me leaving.

So I had a ball, regardless, and I am so happy I went. I learned so much in a span of hours, but I'm also glad I couldn't stay because this had a potential to turn very ugly very soon. I was getting interesting vibes from this guy, and as he was new, I was new, and as we would have both thought the same way, we could have created a major mess just by that fact alone.

The moral of this story is; when venturing into a strange country, find out their customs first. I am so glad they offered this opportunity to check them out.

I fucking loved to see people having proper fun for a change. I am SO TIRED of watching married couples "have fun" by having a sophisticated meal at Taste, followed by an arty night at MONA. Nothing wrong with either, I do enjoy my art and my meals, but FUCK what's the point without getting properly rooted at the end of a fun night out?! Even though I wasn't going to go anywhere or be with anyone, I freaking loved others starting to feel the buzz.

So I don't know whether I'll get an invite again, I am not an immediate match with anyone, because of the way I think, but damned there's a massive potential for fun and games around these people. Still, I don't know if I should try and organize something a bit more polyandry friendly myself. Of course, I've had some ideas for a long time, but but but... One must ponder, as simply describing the kind of parties I'd like would raise the hairs in the back of every feminist on a thousand mile radius.

S
2 Comments
Blizzing out on the "looking for men" switch
Posted:Jan 12, 2018 12:26 am
Last Updated:Apr 21, 2018 5:41 pm
2203 Views

I've been away for a while, working on my own website, as I often do. Hence the less frequent visits to my favorite secondary hang out where men are barely dressed and women barely are seen. (Don't you just love the fact you don't have to see the gender you're not interested in just by changing your profile settings?)

On generic social networking sites, you're stuck with both genders. You kinda have to tolerate the presence of women, even though you would rather forget they exist. On dating sites, you just flip a switch and they vanish. If only reality was that easy.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate women, I just really love men. Women are a distraction. They get in the way of play. Someone always objects to something being too disrespectful or whatever.

I want to find myself in a situation in which I am complete without women's protection, not even their energy with me. I want men to sense I'm the girl whose girlfriends or mom will not be there in a split second to moralize and bully every guy who dares to look my way with lusty eyes.

That probably makes no sense, but that's alright. I merely swooped by to say I still come by checking for comments and stuff. I still like to hear how you want to slide your cock(s) into my wet tight pussy. Makes me feel good.

Just saying.

Cheers.
1 comment
Am I a bad girl for not wanting to chat one-on-one?
Posted:Oct 16, 2017 7:03 pm
Last Updated:Dec 3, 2017 11:24 pm
3212 Views

I love AdultFriendFinder. Love being on cam. I love the messages from the men I make hard and cum like there's no tomorrow. I cannot get enough of you lads.

And yet, when I'm chatting (literally, chatting on IM instead of the email-variant) with a guy one-on-one, I feel like I'm being trapped into a monogamous relationship or something, and I'm like... Naah. Not ready for that.

I want to hear them guys cum over my photos and my videos. I wish I could hear them all during a camming session. (That might be a tad too awkward. )

I hate the feeling that I get when I start answering a guy just to be nice. I have to stop doing that. I have to stop answering everyone just to be nice, I hate the feeling even when it's non-sexual. More when it's non-sexual. I need to clear my space from people who do not want to fuck me in real life if the opportunity would arise.

I am feeling such an insane pull towards men. All men, tons of men, an insane amount of men. I couldn't care less if I'd ever see another woman. (Okay, maybe I'd miss them a LITTLE, but I'd like them as a visual presence somewhere distant, while all people close to me would be men. And I don't want the women being AT ALL focussed on me when there are men around...)

I'm derailing, but that's what I do...

I want you all to love me without loving me. Go nuts if you like. Just... Know that I might love you one minute but not remember we've ever talked the next.
9 Comments
What should a polyandrist do when she's a tiny itsy bitsy in love with someone?
Posted:Jul 1, 2017 12:29 am
Last Updated:Oct 16, 2017 7:05 pm
6593 Views

Yeah, so the thing about being a polyandrist is not about maintaining one's freedom from a man, but quite the opposite; the ability to fall in love with men so easily, that it is impossible to fall out of love with everyone but one... But when one KNOWS there's more than one man for them in this world, but one of them men happens to be right there with you... Phew. An interesting dilemma.

Thank god he's married.

I coo when he acts possessive. I love it. I am a non-monogamist and I coo at a guy who wants to own me. Even if he wasn't entirely serious about it.

I love it when he objects to other men and smiles at himself for knowing he's "breaking the rules", knowing I am what I am.

I know I will never be able to quit loving certain men, I'll always be weak for those men who I adore... And whether I'll act on it or not, I'll wish I was free to give in to those men. In some ways, I always fall for the same quality in certain men, but no matter how much they're the same, each of them makes it so different... Like trying to decide which Aerosmith song you love the most.
2 Comments
The scary cheaters
Posted:Jun 11, 2017 6:18 pm
Last Updated:Jul 1, 2017 12:30 am
7292 Views

I cannot exactly say that I am innocent in the cheating area, even though I have only once been the cheater (I was young, stupid, my first boyfriend who I was already thinking of leaving, and the other guy was special to me and the situation unexpected) but most often I'm the person married men cheat with (their business to tell me the truth, not my job to figure out if they do or not), and to my knowledge, I've never been cheated on, but that maybe just my naivety or wish to tell myself pretty tales, but.. Anyway.

The first time I witnessed cheating of the kind I'm talking about, I was gutted. You hear these stories about awful wives and a terrible marriage and what not tales of woe, but when I saw this perfect husband of a perfect wife, their beautiful home and their beautiful 6-months old wedding album turn to dust when he, upon a trip to Australia without his wife, when he, without any sign of embarrassment, need to hide it, explain it, or say a word about it disappear with a woman who was obviously deliberately picking him up knowing he's there, and then reappear again the following morning equally unphased... I think my world grumbled a little. He was the perfect guy, the kind you'd bring to your mother who would embrace him as the wonderful stroke of absolute divine luck and how lucky her daughter was..! Their rationale seems to be that "since I give you my name, my seed, and my money, I am so fucking perfect you should be happy to be called my wife and therefore I'll do whatever I like with my dick. I complete your facade, your beautiful perfect life, and you should be satisfied with that." To my luck, I've never really been into perfect men myself, I like the rough around the edges, honest louses, who go deep into their women, love with their hearts and hold no airs about being "perfect" in any way. If they would cheat, they'd say it's their fault, they cannot stay loyal, they're no good, and that they cannot be tied down, but these picture perfect men... They don't see anything wrong with it...

And I figure, neither do their wives.

Now, having seen a few more marriages between people of my own age, the more perfect the couple the more certain you can be that someone is cheating. The better people seem to be at putting on the perfect face, the perfect front, the better they are at covering up their extramarital affairs.

And they are not the slightest bit remorseful of it, either.

They justify it as "monogamy is not a feasible goal," but instead of adopting an openly polyamorous or polygamous lifestyle, or agree to an open marriage like the louses I like, they go about their cheating behind their wives' or husbands' back as if it was a no biggy.

I am a polyandrist who FULLY believes in monogamy, true love, and ever-lasting love. I know I am PERFECTLY capable of monogamy when I decide to be, provided I am with the right man. I do not value the permanence of the relationship as much as the scary cheaters do, who simply go on with their marriage despite the fact they no longer feel the other is enough to fill their needs, or despite the fact they never thought they would or should.

I know men who have been perfectly trusting of their wives fidelity, only to find that she sleeps around without blinking, essentially thinking her other relationships are no business of her husband's, making it possible for them to even do it. I've known wives of the same kind. And I've known men who are completely turned on by the idea of polyandry and who are still hurt to the core by a cheating wife because honesty is more important in a relationship than monogamy is. MUCH, MUCH more important.

It doesn't matter if you don't think monogamy is a realistic goal if you HONESTLY think that is the case, why not say it out loud you spineless twat? I am a polyandrist, as I said, and I STILL feel monogamy is absolutely a realistic goal, not a goal I want to achieve anymore, but still an absolutely realistic wish to hold for those who want it.

Another thing that boggles my mind... How can people enjoy unemotional, meaningless sex? I bet my sweet ass I love a man I haven't even met before more than some women love their husbands. And how do people explain cheating by saying "it didn't mean anything" like that should make it better! If it didn't mean anything, why do it in the first place and hurt the person who, presumably, actually means something to you? That's absolutely ludicrous. "I didn't really want to do it, but I did it anyway because, you know, whatever?" What the actual fuck, people?!

I'm a polyandrist because men matter to me. Sex matters to me. I am absolutely not a cold-hearted bitch who wants to take advantage of men or who doesn't want to be tied down by a man or any of that nonsense. And as such, I have no idea what people even get out of the unemotional meaningless sex they practice. I mean I've had some before. It is MEANINGLESS. It is stuff I'd NEVER HAVE if I could have something better if there was someone who actually matters, and who I feel something for. Meaningless sex is like... Eating rice cakes. No flavor, no calories, no pleasure. Why the fuck would you want to eat rice cakes when you have calorie-free mud cake at home? Unless you married rice cake and figure because your rice cake has some lettuce on it, it "means something".

Fuck you.
2 Comments
For the polycurious (and those who think it "didn't work")
Posted:May 27, 2017 12:27 am
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2018 12:13 am
8143 Views

Monogamy is something that is completely natural to SOME people. The non-monogamous among us are not faulty, but it is similarly in-born as homosexuality or bisexuality is, but we are so brainwashed into thinking monogamous heterosexual relationships as 'the thing' that we don't even stop to ask the questions before we decide polyrelationships are just "wrong" and "abusive of women".

When I, at the age of 20,) first thought about wanting more than one serious boyfriend, I stopped myself on my tracks thinking no man would ever want to share a girlfriend, unless they, too had a permission to play around - and I didn't quite like the idea of sharing a boyfriend. I figured it would be so unfair on the guys that I didn't think about it again, until a lot later.

There are several ways to be poly, some are essentially monogamous with a polyamorous bend, some are polygamous with a polyamorous bend. It is to be noted that not all naturally polygamist people marry wives to a husband, but it would be natural to also marry several men to one wife, or several wives to several husbands.

I use the -gamy terms to describe a committed, permanent polyrelationship, and the -amory terms to describe not as easily defined relationships, mostly 'boyfriends' and 'girlfriends' and playmates rather than husbands and wives. (And I also don't mean legal wives and husbands, obviously, given the legistlations in most countries and states.)

The way me and my soul-bond lovers work is that I am the wife, and my husbands can make up their own mind who else they wish to sleep with - but they tend to limit their excursions simply due to disinterest toward other women, not because they were ordered to.

A lot of men love their male friends over their female companions, the same way as a lot of women love their female friends over their spouse even. This is a sign of a polyandrous (FMM+ alignment) or a polygynous (MFF+) alignment because we bond deepest with the gender that we are naturally aligned "to marry", with some exceptions. (This is a little complicated, bare with me.) Because by simple mathematics based on the assumption nature is more or less perfectly organized, we can conclude most men to be polyandrous by their natural learning, and most women being polygynous. This means that the polyandrous men would find it relatively difficult to a) respect b) love c) trust and d) bond with a woman, and the reverse would be true to polygynous women and their feelings towards men.

Naturally polyandrous women find it hard to relate to other women on an emotional level while feeling very confident about the men's attraction to themselves, the same way as polygynous men find it difficult to relate to men, but know they can usually charm any woman they choose to charm - to the point they may consider it a bit of a problem.

A lot of the time, men tend to self-sacrifice themselves when going into a serious polyrelationship, whereas women tend to self-sacrifice when a partner wants to try an open marriage or polyamory of some description. Here's how our logic works:

Naturally polygamous (MMFF) men and women: "OK, monogamy is not realistic. We'll just pair up and then play around." or "OK, it's natural for people to have feelings for different people, commitment is about ignoring those feelings and simply sticking to your own partner. Easy."

Naturally polyandrous (FMM+) men: "OK, I want my friends to fuck my girlfriend, but I could never possibly say that out loud because I love her and I don't want to make her feel like I thought she's a slut or a whore or that I disrespected her. I am an awful person." or "OK, I want to fuck my friend's girlfriend, but he would kill me, and I respect him and his relationship, but I can't stop thinking about fucking my friend's girl." (This wish often relates typically to a friend's girlfriend, whoever it is, once his friend finds another girlfriend, then SHE becomes the object of interest until they all truly fall in love with the same girl.) or "I like women but fuck, I could never imagine myself with another guy." (This is the way a man thinks before having found the right people.)

Naturally polyandrous (FMM+) women: "OK I want several boyfriends, or I love several men and can't decide which one I want... I am a terrible woman, and I am probably incapable of true love." and "Oh crap. My friend's boyfriend fell in love with me.... Why does this keep happening to me, I am NOT ENCOURAGING THEM!!"

Naturally polygynous (MFF+) men: "OK, I want to have more than one girlfriend, but that would be really freaking lame of me, so I'll just find a girl who wants to have several boyfriends and give her the freedom I want." (DON'T! Polyandrous women are not turned on by polygynous men, also, polygynous women don't want this freedom.) or "OK, I want several girlfriends but that is sooo lame and stereotypical of me, I am capable of monogamy, you just watch me!"

Naturally polygynous (MFF+) women: "OK... Why do I ALWAYS find these cheaters? They seem so nice at first, and I trust every word they say about loving me, but then they turn around and fuck someone else! (Often the best friend or sister or even the mother.)" or "I should be so angry with my boyfriend/husband for cheating on me, but I can't help but be a bit turned on by it. What is wrong with me, I need therapy." or "I like my man, but I don't really want the mess that goes on with other women in the picture." (This before she's met her right people.)

Naturally monogamous men and women: "I have NO IDEA why people have this idiotic need to sleep around and look for cheap thrills in the arms of other people! They are emotionally disturbed, commitment phobic people who need therapy! I love my partner, and I would NEVER cheat on him/her, and I know we may seem old fashioned, but this is the way we are and feel!"

Of course, these are rough descriptions as everyone is different, but you still might see where you fit?

I'll write more later.
0 Comments , 1 Pending
Play moves I don't respond well to... FYI
Posted:May 25, 2017 6:55 am
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2018 12:13 am
7885 Views

I am not like most women.

I do not have claws.

I have NO INTEREST chasing you down and wrangling you out of the hands of other women simply to prove my own self-worth. If I'm going to do that, I have to be DAMNED CERTAIN that you love me with the wholeness of your being, and that you actually WANT me to come and get you for myself, but for that kind of certainty, a lot of things must be in place first.

I do not need to prove my self-worth by getting the man "I can't have", therefore, if you PLAY hard to get, I will assume you are not that interested in me and I will move on easily. The more I like you, the more readily I will accept the fact that men like you would be so sought after that they don't really get too excited over one night out or whatever, and that they've got plenty to choose from and I simply didn't make the cut. No issue, I've got my own ranking system going, and a lot of great guys won't make the cut. That's called life, and I'm more than OK with it. This means that if you're trying to make me wait in order to make me want you more, you'll find the opposite effect will happen, I'll simply know you don't really want me - and I do want my men to want me. It doesn't mean you'll blow your chances forever, it's just that for as long as you're not chasing me, I'm not really worried about getting you. The way I think is "you'll come to me if and when you're ready if you want me" and if you won't come to me, I assume you're not ready or simply don't want me or the lifestyle I have in mind.

I am trying to go against my own natural way sometimes and express my interest in a guy, but trust me, when I'm going out of my way to say "I fucking want you" that's probably VERY lame compared to a girl who is simply trying to prove to herself she can have any man she wants, like all her self-worth depended on it. I don't get "ticked off" by a guy ignoring me, I get... Sad and disappointed maybe, but not angry. I may get irritated for being played though as if he was thinking I am a moronic little twat with a point to prove if that makes anyone feel any better.

Jealousy games also will fall short with me; I sleep with a lot of guys, so I have no business judging you if you do, too. However, I am a polyandrist, and the existence of other women mean either nothing to me, or I will let go because clearly, you've got stuff covered. A polyandrist woman has very little leverage to force a guy into a relationship anyway, so either you want me or you don't, it HAS TO be your call, all I can say is "not you mate" but I cannot insist that it WILL HAVE TO BE you. The more I value you, the less I'd simply ASSUME you'd love me or my lifestyle because I'm so fucking awesome, right? I will NEVER force or coerce a guy to stay with me because I'd like to know being with me is not some form of a jail term but an actual pleasure for him.

So... The move that works with me... Keep talking to me. Show me you're actually interested in me. The more messages you'll send, the more I'll like it, particularly if I like you. I like it when people simply tell me what's on their minds, without a lot of pretenses or pretending to be casual about it. All aloof and nonchalant. I don't need you to be super witty or funny or thought out all the time, if I really like you, I will coo over a hello more than I will get excited about a full blown wining and dining with expensive gifts to boot, I don't care, my love is not for sale, I don't care about ANYTHING but the depths of your being, and if you show that to me, I'll love you for it... And having said that, if I'm truly in love with you, the kind of deeply that I don't care if you feel like giving me X should tie me to you forever, because I'd tie myself to you anyway, but I will never fall for a guy because he'd buy me stuff, if you know what I mean. From a guy, I don't already love to my core TOO expensive gifts or elaborate gestures only make me feel obligated, and that feeling sucks monkeys ass.

I fucking LOVE it when a guy tells me he's read my blogs or googled my name to find out more. THAT shit gets me. Of course, you'd have to actually read the stuff, and I know from that that he's actually into me... At least was until we met, right? I write a lot, and because it takes time to actually wade through this stuff, it means a great deal. I love to know people read what I write, particularly those who I have a romantic or sexual interest in...

If you're the right one for me, there is NO WAY you could get too clingy or needy. NO WAY. If I wish to bind myself to you for life, then there's NOTHING you can over-do to fuck that up. But I will chase away people who will get too close (and there's no 'too soon' about it, I fall in love at first sight or very soon after, or not at all, and quite frankly... A guy who is certain he wants me is a turn on for me, not the other way around... but obviously this is not an invitation to fake that feeling).

I don't like the games that much, but I'm starting to kind of understand the point of them a bit better when they're a fun addition to it, but when it's just plain insecurity and "I wonder if calling her sooner than 3 days will get me off the list..." -shit... I don't like it. I like it when men go nuts over me. I figure you might too, but there's this catch... If I get overly excited about a guy, they'll easily interpret it as "she's insane" or "does this with all men" or something similar. But no, I don't... But that is the reason I don't over-do this myself, and I know there's a similar fear in guys as well, hence I'm just saying how I feel about it.

And no. No matter how much I fall for you at "hello", I'm not turning monogamous again. Not even for the greatest love of my life - who, by the way, is a polyandrist by his natural alignment, whether he's aware of it or not... Wouldn't be the greatest love of my life if he wasn't. If they weren't.
0 Comments
"What do you like in bed?" is not a valid question
Posted:May 17, 2017 10:13 pm
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2018 12:13 am
8263 Views

OK... We all have preferences that seem to work even when the connection isn't great and when things are less than spectacular in general. However, some rules make potentially great sex shit, when you think you know what the other person wants, but whose rules just changed because of you.

When the connection is AMAZING, the rules go out the window. Each couple or a group is their own mixture of energy, and that energy interacts in a unique way... For instance, giving a blow job can vary from downright nasty to the best thing in this freaking world, and the only point of difference is who you're giving it to. It SHOULD be a big deal, because it is not about whether the girl likes giving blowjobs or not, or whether she likes giving them to you, specifically. Also, if she likes giving them to one guy, doesn't mean she likes giving them to you.

We are all perfect for somebody. At the same time, NONE OF US is perfect for everybody. Some of us are pretty damned good for most people, but even those of us who top the hot lists are not perfect for everybody, although, to be quite perfectly honest and frank... The most desirable people are not perfect for all, because not everyone is perfect for them... As in... Even the "perfect people" are drawn to other perfect people - up to a point... Sometimes casual sex is better with someone you would NEVER want to date regularly, let alone spend the rest of your life with. Here, it seems that the closer to "mr right" a guy is here, the less I want to fuck him and the more I want to date him, so jumping into THAT SPACE directly with someone I regard hot feels weird. I feel like I have to see if there's a real connection first, and if I find that nah, he's absolutely just a pretty shell, then it's OK again... But to be fair, sometimes half empty is Alll OK if what the glass is half filled with is Champaign rather than say... A full glass of hmm... wine that is just started to go off... You know when you sort of go... Uh... "is this good or not?" and you keep trying it until you go... "yeah, no. Toss it." Whereas that half glass full of chilled Champaign, you'll drink that thing to the bottom of it without hesitation, and if it's a half glass, it's still better than none at all, lol.

So you'll give a blow job to your half glass of Champaign, but you'd very reluctantly go down on a full glass of red going off.

And what is Champaign to you is not the same thing for everybody. We all have a different idea of perfection - there is such a thing as "too perfect" for some people. Like a lot of people love each other for their flaws rather than their perfections, because perfect people are boring, but we all love CERTAIN flaws over other flaws, and which flaws we love is individual... And that is a direct effect on how the sex is going to be - instinctively. We already know whether that person is perfect for us or not, both men and women do, men even more instinctively than women, and when the perfection is met.... Fuuuuck you'll go to places you've never gone before with that person, even if with everyone else sex in a missionary with the lights off seem a little bit too much for you.
2 Comments
Love women who love men...
Posted:May 2, 2017 1:49 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2017 3:11 am
7938 Views

I am through and through a polyandrist man-pleaser and I simply love men. I don't mean I like men, as a gender, I mean I love them, adore them, I want to make them happy. Very anti-feminist of me, I know, but I don't care. I am what I am and I love what I am.

Although I have rejected every friend request by women and M+F couples (as opposed to M+M couples) here so far, I'd love to hear from women whose primary focus is on their guy or their guys. Who are the ones who disappear when they've got a date, who leave the club without saying a word because they found a bloke and to whom the explanation "I found a guy" is enough to make getting friend-dumped for the night is explanation enough.

I want to semi-befriend women who take joy in seeing men happy, sexually excited or gratified, relaxed like a lion laying in the sun just after mating. I am not into women myself, as I said, but I love strip clubs because I love to see the look on the guy's faces when they see these beautiful girls do their thing.

I don't need to feel a BOND to another woman in the way that normal women do, but... I'd think of it more as a collaboration of sorts... Us against the demanding ball-busting bitches that only want to see a guy cry for the sake of their own ego being stroked.

Just saying.
0 Comments
Now I'm griping about those fake profiles...
Posted:Apr 30, 2017 9:44 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2017 10:03 pm
7872 Views
Although I don't think it's against the TOS or anything to be promoting your services as a sex pro, and I certainly wouldn't mind people being upfront about it if they did, but... I'm getting peeved about something REALLY stupid. I want that #1 spot in my state. It is RIGHTFULLY MINE, and I want it! There's these few people that SEEM TO pay for that top spot though, by sending each other points when they lose the top spot or perhaps using another account to do that. And I don't know, maybe that's fair, I don't know, but if they send the points to one person who then sends them back to the same person... I think AdultFriendFinder takes a cut from it, I'm not sure, but still. Annoys me.

I don not really know how many of the top accounts there are "cheating", but I find it funny how their fan points suddenly shoot up by a mile when they notice they have lost the top spot. Overtaken them a couple of times, FAIR AND SQUARE.

This is CLEARLY a first world problem and a stupid one at that, but my ego is screaming for justice here! Nobody even wants to see some of those people naked I am quite convinced, and there they are, on the top spots.

If that is not asking for a flame fight, I don't know what is. Maybe I will just block those accounts while I still can get away with saying that before them seeing it. It's not like I want them to be offended, I'm just venting.

There is a block function here, isn't there..?



And I don't really know what is to be considered "a fake profile", I suppose pretending to be after a date only to spring the "you didn't think I do this for free" line on an unsuspecting bloke, would qualify. Then again, I might be considered fake because I've got a blog, a sex blog at that, even if it doesn't run memberships (at the moment at least even though I haven't ruled that option out if there was a fun thing to do about it) and also I've got another blog that DOES run membership subscriptions, but isn't about sex. I mention those blogs sometimes, so that might make me a fake.

Then, does the fact I get more offers than I have time to get to make me a fake, a cock tease, or "all talk", I don't know?

Ah. Yet another existentialist crisis to live with!
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