The hazards of waking  

Searing05 56M
9 posts
1/31/2006 4:49 pm

Last Read:
4/11/2006 7:28 pm

The hazards of waking

Some days my being creates a feedback loop that is nearly impossible to break, and totally impossible to ignore. On this day the loop was of lust and desire, acknowledged, expressed, intensified then acknowledged... etc. It is not uncommon for me, though usually I can break the cycle, regain the balance this cycle of yearning steals from me.

Beginning with words offered and given to me, remembered from minutes, hours and days past. These words had dug into my psyche, a beach-head that would not be repulsed by the resources available this day. The words may be innoccous, taunting tidbits or flagrant; yet they aggregate, each combined phrase greater than the individual words. The whole stream greater than the combination of phrases.

The mind's eye magnifies the words, turning them from abstract thoughts to crystal mental images. A memory relived, an acknowledged desire envisioned, a heretofore unacknowledged yearning bursting into my cortex. Sometimes the images are so pristine to compel my mind and body to respond to the urges inevitably linked. Instinctive energy, latent, yearning to be activated - released.

Latent energy flowing through my body, not in the manic mode of that demands attention and action. But in the inexorable, silent movement of a river. Filling my mind, my body and ultimately my being with the yearning, the awareness of my need. My addiction?

And that I need a gas can.

rm_wellread38 57F

2/2/2006 8:27 pm

Why the need for a gas can? I'd think that there would be spontaneous combustion from all that latent energy.

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