Sassy_Lady_NYC 67F
77 posts
5/16/2006 2:09 pm

Last Read:
6/8/2006 6:37 am


Have you been with a married person when you were unattached?
Was it very trite, seedy, sordid and humiliating? Did you feel you were doing something wrong or hurtful to their spouse?

Did you think that the attraction was specific to only the two of you?

Well, I did.

I fell madly in love with him.

I loved him so much I was in a state of constant terror that he would fall asleep behind the wheel of his car when he left my apartment to drive home to his wife and kids.

He left his emotionally bankrupt wife and married me.

I raised his kids and my own.

Worked full-time.

Took care of our home.

He gave orders.

He was a control freak. Domineering and never happy with anything. He spent so much money we were always a step away from broke.

He dressed in $1200. suits. Drove luxury sports cars. Carried a wad. Criticised everyone. He reverted into a cheater and heavy drinker after we married.

He called himself King Jerome.

Then he cheated "in my Face". I was now the emotionally bankrupt wife. He is now living openly with another woman. We are still married. He will not give me a divorce.

His past behavior was a blueprint I failed to acknowledge.


Do you think you will be the exception, when you love a cheater?

Do you think Fidelity is a personality trait?

elysianpleasure 48M

5/16/2006 4:16 pm

Good post... I am sorry about your story. I don't think it is a matter of what goes around comes around. Life is tough. It is not vengeful. It just is. I think there are patterns. And so if someone is marriaged and it isn't working it is important to understand the reasons and what role that person has in the pattern. Some people are driven to cheat by circumstance. Some people I think have more fundamentals that drive them there. I am married. I have cheated once. I don't sleep with everyone I could. I am not proud of the time that I have. I am not proud of where my marriage is. I live in an emotionally bankrupt marriage it got there without cheating. If I leave, given my experience, I am not sure I would even marry again. But I know that I am not immune to heart break... I married like you in love, thinking it would last forever, thinking we could make it through anything. Fifteen years later I know better. Fidelity is a personality trait. Believe it or not... even some cheaters believe in fidelity.

Sassy_Lady_NYC replies on 5/17/2006 9:59 am:
I agree with you: some cheaters believe in fidelity.
Life is not vengeful. It just is. Thanks sweet man

rm_jd29992z 55M
3888 posts
5/16/2006 8:29 pm

It did happen to me but the other way around. I was the emotional bankrupted husband hmmmmm it hurts know matter how you slice it my wild woman. And it is too bad you trusted an untrust worthy man. All I know if they are doing it with one person it will happen again a tiger never changers his stripes. I am sorry I wish I could make you feel better a gentle hug, and just hold you in my arms. Hmmmm that would be nice maybe we could heal each others wounds. Stop by I have not see you in a long time my wild woman I miss you. JD your wild man.

Sassy_Lady_NYC replies on 5/17/2006 10:03 am:
Wild man. I know men can be blind-sided as well. Romance is not dead, this is the good news. It is what it is. Big kiss.

rm_merengo1 65M

5/17/2006 12:28 pm

Life is short, why one relation works and another does not is not black and white. We all take risks in the ride of relationships some work others do not. It is like the Brooklyn bridge, if either pillar has weaknesses the whole bridge will collapse eventually. Most people come with baggage, can they walk away or does it destroy them and everyone around. There is no blame for failures, like pencils we can erase some of it and begin writing the new chapter.

Sassy_Lady_NYC replies on 5/17/2006 12:44 pm:
"begin writing the new chapter"... thanks

rm_jd29992z 55M
3888 posts
5/17/2006 3:58 pm

Big kisses back wild woman hey why did you take off the picture I love your eyes see you JD

Sassy_Lady_NYC replies on 5/17/2006 6:09 pm:
Funny you should ask...I put up an additional picture and it wasn't approved..................Take care my wild man...........

rm_jd29992z 55M
3888 posts
5/19/2006 5:39 pm

Hmmmmmmm glad to see your beautiful eyes again my wild woman!!!! Your fuzzy wild man JD

Sassy_Lady_NYC replies on 5/22/2006 4:26 pm:
Wild man, thanks for missing me

digdug41 50M

6/2/2006 10:07 am

ya know sorry to say but thats your fault because my first thought is if he/she is doing it to someone else they'll fuckin do it to me straight like that sorry you had to learn that the hard way tho I dont like to see no one in pain of any sort

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

Sassy_Lady_NYC replies on 6/8/2006 6:45 am:
you are correct. I was 18 years old...he my story was more of a reminder than a poor me. It was about personality vs. circumstance. I just believed "the wife is making me miserable story and you are my soul-mate"...only to find myself realizing he was the problem...not his ex. or me. Luckily, I am a very happy camper now.
Thanks for reading my blog.

arabianflower77 40F

6/11/2006 11:32 am

Couldn't agree with SexySensualSane more. I fell in love with a guy like that. Get away, get far away. It's not you, it wasn't his wife. He's a narcissist. There's no amount of love you can give this person that will "help". If he's lucky, he'll resolve his behavior on his own, but few of these types of men get over themselves long enough to make a commitment to that change. Forgive yourself, try your best to work it out with him--maybe it will for the best. If he goes, let him go. The one's that really love you always stay, in some way or form. And pray for guidance. The answers will come.

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