Getting rid of feelings so I can move on!  

SarahSue65 53F  
388 posts
6/27/2006 7:55 am

Last Read:
6/28/2006 1:25 pm

Getting rid of feelings so I can move on!


I've been on this site off and on for about 8 years..........so you'd think I'd be hardened to the way people are. I will admit that it takes much more to hurt me now.......but damn it.......you can't be real and not get hurt eventually. At least this time, I'm better mentally and it won't take as long to get past. *sigh*
Here's the story:
I know this chick here.........talk to her in chat. She's fun to be silly with and after looking at her profile.......realize she's way to hot for me. *grin* Since I'm not hanging to just get laid (thank goodness or I'd REALLY be depressed!! LMAO ) it's fun to chat.....For months, only talk to her in chat...then she ya hoo's.......just occasionally at first then.......talk turns and the next thing you know......we're playing....cybering. I have no problem getting chicks off......*grin* it's actually quite hot.......but I have to be in the mood........and have to have some desire for the person I'm talking to. I know there's a risk.......all too often the person disappears.......which is ok......because I know it going in and if I take it that far, I'm doing it as much for myself as anything.
So anyway, this one shows back up a couple days later. Cool......over the next week we chat several times. Life is good. Then we're having a discussion and *sigh* me being me........I'm having a hard time getting my point across. My mind works in circles and sometimes what I need is outside the circle and it takes a while to reach it. I was frustrated with myself (!) ........and not being able to make my point. Instead it sounds like I want to be right no matter what. *sigh* By the time I finally got my mind around it.........I'd pissed her off. *sigh* I did apologize......but also made my point in the same note......*rolls eyes* .........I'm thinking that didn't help things. Never said I was a brilliant person. *sigh*
So now........a week later and she's still not talking to me........and I'm beginning to wonder if the fight was just an excuse.........and if it wasn't....do I want to chat with someone who is not going to try to understand me?
bah........a few years ago, I'd have been devastated......not sure if it's good or bad that I'm not now. *sigh* If nothing else......experience has made it easier to just move on........so no drama.......no begging, no hard feelings and all in all.......probably more her loss than mine.

Become a member to create a blog