Selective or Not  

SXYblonde41 56F
136 posts
2/18/2005 9:29 am

Last Read:
5/10/2007 9:44 am

Selective or Not

Why is it that so many are critical of those that are selective? Seems to be that you are viewed as a Snob or a prude because you are not open to every dick sliding between your legs and getting off. Some women are take pride in being classy and not into somone that has been all over the net sleeping with everyone. Are there gentlemen out there? Hey we all love sex otherwise we all would not be here. Adventure and openess can be fun with out sacrificing yourself.

HardNhorneee 53M

2/22/2005 10:20 am

I agree with what your saying! We need more people like you!

2 posts
2/28/2005 9:52 am

Amen to that. Quantity is nowhere, quality is everything!!!!

vcbadboy805 51M

3/8/2005 4:41 pm

Respectfully, I disagree to a certain degree. Sure selectivity is good. No one expects you to fuck every man on the planet, especially since most of them are lousy lovers. You have already shown selectivity by taking the time to filter out the assholes via sites like these. Now is the time to enjoy the fruits of your labors. Filter out the creeps, take sensible precautions, then have as much fun as you can handle. That's what AdultFriendFinder is supposed to be about.

rm_JIM12341959 59M

3/15/2005 8:15 am

You have to be selective, whether man or woman!
How else are you to find the person you will enjoy without trolling through those with whom you may have no common ground! This site is all about finding someone you will enjoy and will enjoy you in return-not about screwing everything that breaths!

rm_im_erotic 74M
5 posts
3/26/2005 7:39 am

You might be interested in the following. I posted it in response to a comment in the magazine section. It sounds negative at first but plase read it all (like most things I do it ends well) .....;~)

~~~~~~~The AdultFriendFinder format is flawed, very much like our general society, at least when it comes to sex and relationships. Consider: we are, anthropologically speaking, herd animals. The females gut level programming compels her to go for the "alpha male" among those males she knows. Anything else is a learned response resulting from our having been "civilized"

Males, on the other hand are hard wired to impregnate, thus passing on his genes, as many females as he can. Anything else is a learned response resulting from our having been "civilized".

Is the above an oversimplification? Of course! But for the discussion to proceed I think these basics need to be understood.

Now, translate to todays situation, especially this internet site.

Females attempt to attract the most powerful, richest and most self-confident male they can. They do this with no small measure of innuendo and coded language since they have been "civilized" against being direct.

Males desire the youngest, sexiest female they can afford and are typically very direct about what they want.

The internet frustrates this exchange further because the females cannot sense, generally, the self-confidence that a male would display in person. So, he is reduced to listing what sex acts he wants. Also, it's hard to apply the calculated indifference ploy (where females will be intrigued by males that are apparently indifferent to her).

My experience, like sparetime who started this thread, is so much more successful with women I meet in person. But this is fun. And, maybe some younger, sexy lady reading this will understand I have something between my ears as well as between my legs.

rm_fuctdupp 40M

4/8/2005 6:35 pm

I think high preferences in your mate is essential to the seduction of the eyes. If I am not completely engrossed into what I'm looking out how can I expect my body to return the favor. Women will be damned for every choice they have in the moral play book to the double standard that we men feel the need to counter your choice. There are gentlemen out there but they are ridiculed and made light of. Would love to continue this conversation further. Find me in your network and send me your IM handle. No games, no lying, and no boring conversation, this is my promise to you.

(Jon howards)
15 posts
5/3/2005 10:38 pm

Well said Bravo


5/5/2005 9:32 am

That is so true We need more people like you and a friend


5/10/2005 9:26 pm

being selective is not the sign of a snob---its the sign of someone that cares about themself and won't settle for mediocrity. to settle for just anyone u get just anyone ---not what u deserve------take care sxyblonde----aloha sax

gomatic2 64M

5/12/2005 6:15 pm

Sxyblonde: good for selective and preface your wants/desires, don't settle for less. Like those who have posted positve responses about you, I concur w/them.. Myself, I utilize this site for interest, and must say, I love my wife. (Thus, being married will not qualify me for you) I noticed you on the CA. chat and hopefully will catch you again. Living in Santa B. and the East Coast I will keep you posted on possible guys who fit your profile. Good Luck to you, and keep the bar high, my humble opinion is: You deserve it.
PS: My connection to San Pedro is the tall ship Californian, quite a vessel, and have had the opportunity to crew this ship. If ever in your neck of the woods...or port of the sea, I will give a prevailing signal. Until then Live, Love and Laugh. JF

1 post
5/18/2005 10:31 pm

Hi dear sex is over rated .. but when you see what you
want.. mmmmm its all over. your sweet smile dear


5/20/2005 10:32 pm

100% correct clean ,careful & class is the only way, for all genders

SexualBrain 57M

6/21/2005 1:08 am

Integrity, Decency, Respect and yes Class, are all words that you must not only know the meaning of but practice in any and all relationships, be they with your children or your mate

I never missed a day when I didnt hear my Father tell my Mom that he loved her ... NOT A DAY!

I am in COMPLETE agreement with this beautiful, Intelligent & Classy woman

TakenHaulsVitae 57M

6/22/2005 9:07 pm

I think being selective is a great thing. It gives us that have other intentions or are real, an opportunity to actually meet someone that is classy, beautiful and sexy.
Sorry I am in CA only once a month, otherwise I would definitely pursue meeting you. But who knows....

SaranGirdsDeeps 47M

6/25/2005 5:45 pm

It isn't often that you find someone on this site that has it together. I have had a life that has afforded me with the chance to do much traveling. Have met many good people. After reading your profile and your comment abouve, you have it together. WISHING YOU ONLY THE BEST.

rm_southerner36 73M

6/29/2005 11:54 am

Yes, you are correct. I also feel age is misleading, so we all have our advantages and disadvant. ie-write me if interested!

3 posts
7/10/2005 1:43 pm

I appreciate knowing whats up right from the gate-and the people who know what they want and take the time to communicate it. You can't be responsible for people or their actions on the other end so keep on SXY.

janesharina 42F

8/8/2005 11:58 pm

Finally another lady who speaks up ..Bravo !

SXYblonde41 56F
26 posts
12/14/2005 7:12 am

THANK YOU everyone for your are awesome and I am happy that are those that agree with me. Selectiveness is the KEY and why change for anyone??...

NEsailor 70M

2/22/2006 7:18 pm

taste is synonomous with selectivity. Am I a snob for wanting to spend my time with someone of good taste? It often goes along with good manners.

1 post
8/8/2006 6:21 pm

There is certainly nothing wrong with being selective. The problem is that so many take it personally when they are not what someone else is looking for. RELAX!! Doesn't mean that something is 'wrong' with you. Look at it this person is a fantastic foot, the other is a fantastic shoe. The foot is a size 11, the shoe is a 12. Both are quality, but it isn't a fit. We all need to find the right fit.

1 post
8/9/2006 12:39 am

I suspect those openly critical of others who proclaim their selectivity are the very ones being shut out due to that person's stated preferences. Let's face it...there are those who can afford to be picky so why wouldn't they be? Then there are those that in all reality, can ill afford to be quite so choosey. I suppose in between there lies varying degrees of "affordability". Each of us must assess how picky we can afford to be right? Why would a beautiful woman of substance and style like SKYBlonde41 get romantic with Chris Farley when she knew Brad Pitt was knocking on her door holding a dozen roses? Duh!

Personally, I have always found it somewhat odd that anyone would need to state in their profile that they are"very selective". C'mon....every woman feels she is selective and I'm okay with that. Isn't it more or less a given? Every woman also loves to least they say they do. Now I really have no idea what that means but to me it's like the selective thing..I see it so often I sort of just skip over it because it doesn't help me distinguish one woman from another. Long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners are a couple others that no longer even register with me. Why? They just don't tell me anything about the me it's mostly fluff. If a woman wants to have it down there for the men to see..I'm fine with it. I think it's safe to say one finds the issue of selectivity coming up mainly in the context of women's profiles. It's something I see women addressing frequently. Although I don't read men's profiles.... I doubt it's something most men would say. However...any man who gets worked up enough to comment that he finds it snobbish is most likely a man who needs some work in the self-esteem department. Why else would it be bothersome? Only insecurity would flag such an innocuous statement.

Of course the real reason it may bother some or most men is that it serves to remind them just how UN-selective they are at times.

getenpersinal 38M
1421 posts
11/23/2006 12:33 pm

Good comparision there - I often wondered about Chris Farley when I saw his reruns on TV. That was by VirtualInstinct.
For my part, I don't intend to do much here.. so why am I commenting so much? Well, because I've probably read half a thousand blogs, and by the way, if women can "take pride" in something, they will, it's a given.

Freedy Johnston: "I know I got a Bad Reputation, and it isn't just"savetheplanet

startingover38 55M

1/13/2007 12:18 pm

Being selective is an appealing quality, lack of it shows a lack of intelligence or care about ones own self being. Those who criticize should take another look at them self before complaining that some one else does not want them. There is probably a reason? While women may still put some value in visualization, many seem less concerned with looks and put more value in character and values shared. Why else would we see so many cases of 'beauty and the beast' as we walk threw life?

rm_96471926 51M
29 posts
5/4/2007 4:33 pm

YOU R E BEST...............

Become a member to create a blog