Numbers two and three  

Rubenesque1968 49F
152 posts
3/27/2006 12:13 am

Last Read:
4/21/2006 5:33 pm

Numbers two and three

Dear Readers,

In my last post, I let the cat out of the bag, so to speak. Yes, I have been married three times. I wrote about my first marriage, and feel the need to write about the other two.

My second marriage lasted less than a year. I was dating this guy for about six months. Things did not work out between us and we broke it off. One day, I was walking along and saw his brother. He and I started talking and we realized how much we had in common. About a week later, I found out I needed major surgery that would require me to be off work for three to four weeks. As a waitress for a small restaurant, I knew I couldn’t afford to take the time off of work and had decided to put off the surgery. Well, ex #2 got wind of it and asked me to marry him. We discussed just living together, but his lease had a “morality clause”. Basically, I couldn’t stay overnight at his home unless we were married. My lease was ending, and his rent was cheaper. Yes, these are all poor excuses to get married, but we did it anyway.

Within four months of us getting married, ex#2 began experiencing erectile dysfunction. Now, this was 1998 and Viagra had just come out, however he wasn’t comfortable taking it. He said the risk was too great. So, although I tried everything, and I do mean everything to get him hard, he never did. He decided that I should go have sex with other men. This was my first introduction to AdultFriendFinder.

I put up an ad in Texas, and met a man. He was married and seeing women on the side with his wife’s permission. Things were okay, but it started bothering ex#2. After two get to know each other dates and two sex dates, ex#2 decided he didn’t want me seeing other men. I said goodbye to my buddy, and tried to make a go of our marriage without sex. I begged him to see the doctor and get on Viagra, but he refused. This was not a marriage of love, but of convenience. He and I both knew it, and without the sex, the marriage was a goner.

Ex#3 and I met in a bar. That should have been a big clue to me. But, I wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice. We dated for a year before we moved in together, and lived together for another year before we married. I knew he was a drinker, but made myself believe it wasn’t all that bad. He was not a mean drunk, just a goofy one. His work was spotty, at best. For the most part, I supported both of us. Although it was hard, we really tried to make it work.

Then I found out he was doing drugs, heavily. I am talking using needles to shoot up speed. I kept letting it slide, begging him to stop, believe his promises that he would. Then, eight months into our marriage, he was pulled over for a dui. He blew almost twice the legal limit, and I had to bail him out of jail. I stayed with him through court and the whole bit, but told him I couldn’t live with a drunk and an addict any longer. We lasted a total of 18 months before I left.

So, there you have the sordid tale of Rube’s adventures in marriage. And, I believe one can see why I have no intention of getting married, again. I cannot trust myself when it comes to picking men to spend my life with. It seems every time I do, I pick wrong.

Thanks for reading

hourglasses 48F

4/2/2006 7:09 pm

Wow, and I can't even get one person to marry me. Although in some ways it sounds like that is for the best.

Rubenesque1968 49F

4/6/2006 7:42 pm

HG ~ I would never take back my marriage to my daughter's father, mainly because without it I wouldn't have her. However, it may surprise you to know that I probably wouldn't take back the other two either. Both of those marriages helped me to understand myself better, and I am glad to have that.
Thanks for visiting my blog!!

AndyUnique 70M

4/21/2006 1:36 am

Now I can see why you are in the mental health field. My love life has been the exact opposite of yours and that's where I'm at too. I've never been married, no children and live alone. I tried the bi thing to see what it's like and it left so much to be desired that I can't it stomach anymore. I hear they call guys like me "lone psychos" at the local meat wracks. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

Rubenesque1968 49F

4/21/2006 5:33 pm


Being in the mental health field really has nothing to do with my failed marriages, I started in the field before I was married. However, it does say a lot about me. I am a professional caregiver, and that usually spills over into my personal life. All husbands took advantage of that fact.

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