Androgenetic alopecia  

Richard_Surplus 41M
22 posts
3/5/2006 9:33 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Androgenetic alopecia

In the January 9th New Yorker, staff writer Burkhard Bilger--describing recent advances in baldness cures--notes how balding is more of a "software problem," than a "hardware problem." Andgenetic alopecia (male pattern baldness) is a condition triggered by testosterone mixing in the bloodstream and creating an enzyme that turns follicles off. In other words, the follicles remain functional, but no longer receive the signals to function.

The role of testosterone in inhibiting follicle operation, Bilger adds, had been presumed for nearly 2,000 years when Hippocrates observed that eunichs were famously resistant to baldness.

Intelligent design, my ass. More like divine malice.

If you take this a step further, the evil cosmic joke becomes apparent. In order to maintain the signifier of your virility (i.e., a full head of hair), you must surgically end your capacity to be virile (i.e., castration). Women and employers are habitually misled by their attraction to hairy-headed men because of this mistaken instinctual understanding that hair connotes health and strength. When in fact it is the nearly opposite. Baldness actually means fecundity.

Not that I am a bald man. But I'm sure when I finally come around to thinking that procreation is a good idea, I will be. And when that day dawns, and the morning sun shimmers atop my naked pate, I would hate for it to be misinterpreted.

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