Update on my chaotic life (Part 3)  

RedheadedMedStd 35F
1734 posts
3/10/2006 2:22 pm

Last Read:
3/13/2006 8:09 pm

Update on my chaotic life (Part 3)


Being a surrogate Mom is something that I had not really considered before I got involved in the project and I couldn't back out. I really don't look pregnant if you just look at me. Most people don't even know I am pregnant until I tell them or show them. My classmates just figured it out, cause I let it slip. Blogland knows, but that's it. My roommate, my family, Hersh, Mr. IFC, no one knows. I mostly wear hoodies and jeans anyway, so I have been able to hide it. I have never had morning sickness, but there are side effects that I noticed, my boobs got bigger for one. I have to be very selective in what clothes I wear. Most of the clothes that I purchase, even if they are the right size, the shirts are generally short, because I am long all over. I am normally a size 0 and I am probably a 2 now. But I only own 0s and 1s so I am wearing clothes that are careful to my pregnancy.

The reason behing hiding it? My family would not approve of the fact that I went through with the idea. They like the idea for someone else's daughter, not theirs. When I was not at first careful, people were asking me why I wasn't married and where the Daddy was. And come on it sounds like an elaborate lie if I tell people I am a surrogate Mom. I am very young to be doing this the agency said that. I quit smoking my 2nd or 3rd month. I can eat pretty much anything within reason. Same with drinking. I have only gained about 10 pounds. According to the obstetrician the baby is healthy, and although on the small side for 6 months, that it is probably because I am so small.

The couple that I am carrying the baby for lives in Nebraska. He is a chemical engineer and I can't recall what she does right now. She has had 4 miscarriages, and the doctors told her she shouldn't try again to carry her own kids. That's where I come in. I have met them 2x's and yes, I am being paid, no I don't know the sex of the baby, and I am not going to help name it or anything. The only thing I am scared about is giving birth and how much it will hurt. I feel the baby kicking mostly when I try to fall asleep. I am not really attached to it cause truthfully it has become a hassle. My 23 year old spirit has definately been deflated. I can't go out with my friends, I have to take really good care of myself, get lots of sleep, eat pretty healthy and all that. Also, none of my genes went into making this kid, I am literally the "holding pen." I don't know how else to describe it.

I don't think I will ever do this again. Although I have been praised endlessly by those who know about it, this just proves to me how not ready I am to have my own kids. I will be a loyal Trojan woman for years to come. Plus people assuming at first that I just got knocked up; it sucks! I am not planning on telling those closest to me. My Mom just thinks I need to do sit-ups. She thinks I have a "beer gut." Can you imagine my very conservative parents hearing that their radical kid has decided to carry a baby for another couple? Can you imagine their reaction? They would freak that's what they would do. I am still trying to decide my excuse for labor. I guess I am ashamed of what my parents would think.

Ok, any questions? Raise your hands, and don't all yell them at the same time. Let's be adults about this.

Toodles!
Red

NewJAXCitee 39M
52 posts
3/10/2006 3:54 pm

I never would have guessed youd do something like this, but I applaud you for doing it. The positive that will come from it is once you have the baby you can resume a "normal" life unlike if the baby was yours to keep.

As for your parents you're not gonna be able to hide it from them forever are you??


climbmelikeatree 48M
80 posts
3/10/2006 6:40 pm

A sacrifice I can't imagine. I admire you for it-maybe your family will figure out that they should too.


PrincessKarma 45F
6188 posts
3/10/2006 6:51 pm

*raises hand* How did you decide to do it? Was it just the $?

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma


RedheadedMedStd 35F

3/10/2006 7:34 pm

No it was originally gonna be a egg donation thing, but it went further. The agency pushed me to do the surrogate mother thing. It was partially the money, but also to be able to say I've helped people accomplish a dream they couldn't fufill without me. It's like a life goal. Check that one off the list.


RedheadedMedStd 35F

3/10/2006 7:39 pm

NJE,
I hope I can keep it to myself. It would be frightening if like my water broke at their house. I would be so.... I dunno what the emotion would be, but it would be very extreme.


MussyAliasAmnii 40M
3 posts
3/11/2006 1:16 am

I tell you what you could be interesting person on this site... I have just got on hear and stumbulled across your blog.... I stayed up most of the night reading.... Kinda addictive....
How many people can stay they brought the ultimate joy to a couple?


frangipanigal 46F
10406 posts
3/11/2006 2:54 am

You must be tiny for your family not to notice at 6 months! It is a very admierable thing you are doing. I can't imagine going through that and not telling my family. More strength to you.

Frangi


MillsShipsGayly 53M

3/11/2006 5:21 am

I honestly can't imagine and I wish you well


WoundFossaTinge 39M

3/11/2006 10:15 am

I can't imagine doing this, but it is an incredibly generous gift you are giving them. (I know you are getting paid, but for some people who can't have children on their own, this may sound like a VISA commmercial, but what you are doing is "priceless.")

I wish you luck, and as for your parents, I would hope they would be understanding of your decision and even admire you for this act as well. However, keeping it from them for this extended period of time might be a whole nother thing. I know my parents would want to know and be more upset that I kept it from them, then for doing something, and yes, I know, I could never be a surrogate mother and could never do something that compares, its just the idea. Anyway, good luck.


avatar08 43M

3/11/2006 1:20 pm

I just started reading your blog...My ex and I had two misscarriages and were begining to wonder if was ever going to happen...I must say what your doing is...well almost saintlike...I am so very impressed by your gift and reaffirms my faith in humankind...even thought it is not mine...Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Dave


dasher121 37M

3/13/2006 5:00 am

Well it does seem that you are learning a great deal from this. Much luck to you throughout this miss Red.

The Dude.


RedheadedMedStd 35F

3/13/2006 9:05 am

Tommy-
*giggling*
That's Mastercard seetie...


RedheadedMedStd 35F

3/13/2006 9:05 am

Tommy-
*giggling*
That's Mastercard sweetie...


rm_xxyyzz33 50M

3/13/2006 12:57 pm

As someone who is married and has been trying to conceive for 1 1/2 years, I admire you greatly. I hope you realize what a wonderful and giving gift you are giving this family. You are to be commended and I wish you well.


NSAAddict 43F

3/21/2006 9:32 pm

Hey Red, saw you on the slots and realized I haven't been over to visit you yet. Love your blog, can't wait to read more and I can't believe you are a surrogate mom! That is the most selfless act and you really should be applauded for giving something so precious to people you don't even know. Looking forward to hearing how it all turns out. Best of luck girl, NSA


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