The witch is dead! I mean...  

RedheadedMedStd 35F
1734 posts
4/23/2006 9:17 pm

Last Read:
4/26/2006 8:36 pm

The witch is dead! I mean...

You remember in "The Wizard of Oz" when the Munchkins did a happy dance for the Witch of the East being dead?

My nightmare neighbors moved out! I will for the first time in almost a year be getting some non-nerve wracked sleep. I won't be waking up to the door slamming, wondering when the dog will shut up, if I should call my landlord Joe in the morning to complain (yet AGAIN!), calling the cops and letting them in at 4 am, or Ousting the hallway 5 times a day cause I can't breathe for all the bachelor stench radiating from their place.

Just thought you all should know.

Ding Dong the wicked witch is dead!


P.S. I did do my version of the happy dance for about 15 mins. when I found out they were for sure moving out. They've been illegally squatting/living there since March 14th. No telling how long it will take to clean up the mess they made moving and all the damages to the apartment.

Dekora 54M
937 posts
4/24/2006 9:33 am

I can relate. I lived for four years in an eight-plex. Thought that I was King Poop of the Hill because I had the #1 apartment - ground floor, mailbox unit mounted outside my door. It wasn't long before I learned:

#1 - Other tenants including the post man/woman slam the mailbox doors frequently, and typically at odd hours.

#2 - Other tenants and their guests have big feet, stomping liberally on the stairs up and down. Even the three year olds who just now know how to go up and down stairs without crawling can do so with force enough to move off-kilter the best hung pictures on your walls.

#3 - If the building is non-smoking, the number of tenants who choose to sit outside and smoke is directly proportional with the outdoor temperature, correlated with the wind direction which propells the smoke into your opened living room windows. The less the breeze so the smoke stays low and flows more easily into your window, the more they will puff.

#3a - While smoking on the front step outside your window, the tenants will get into an argument on their cordless phone with some relative, scream and shout obscenitites at them and hang-up violently; repeating 3a at least five times in ten minutes.

3a, 1) - While smoking and hollering, their young child ( remember "little big-foot from #2 above?) will either start throwing a fit, or begin kicking and pounding on the outside of your apartment wall.

3a, 2A) - Will do all of the above when you're trying to have an intimate dinner with a prospective lover.

3a, 2 - If not done during dinner, will wait to commence until you've placed your arm around her shoulder and just began your approach for the first sensual kiss of the evening.

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