Yes, I have trust issues with men,and here's a good reason why.  

RedMenice 47F
138 posts
2/1/2006 7:42 am

Last Read:
6/28/2006 8:18 pm

Yes, I have trust issues with men,and here's a good reason why.


Well....today.....I get online....and here's what I get....(-------------------------
this is from my blog...
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
THOUGHTS ON MY LIFE...AS IT WERE
I WANT TO TELL YOU A STORY...

I want to talk about someone in my past that meant (means) something to me. I met her through a site I play around on now and again. I ended up really screwing it up. Anyway...we talked online for awhile. She always tried to come off as a hard ass woman who just wanted men for fun sex and that was it. I always threw out there that I could get her to love me if she gave me the chance. She invited me over a couples times but it was always late and she lives about an hour away. There was something about this girl that REALLY intrigued me. I ended up inviting myself over one afternoon. I walked in and was really struck by her simple beauty. Long, dark, curly auburn hair. Great smile and great big eyes. She had a pleasant and somewhat smokey voice also. We sat down and talked all afternoon. She showed me her "flash" work. It was awesome. It was time for me to go. I remember thinking...do I kiss her or not? I stopped at the door and kissed her. It was a simple kiss. I tried with that one kiss to let her know I was interested in getting to know her. She reciprocated. She later told me it's hard to find a man that kisses well. We continued to talk online and via the phone. I told her a lot about me (almost everything UNFORTUNATELY) and we had many talks about her life and times. It was going very well I thought. She invited me over one evening on a Friday. She told me the front door would be open and to just come to the bedroom. I was SO nervous. It had been a long time since I had been with someone and I wondered if I was up to the challenge. That hour drive seemed to go on forever. I finally got there and walked up to the door not knowing if it would really be open. I pulled on it and low and behold it opened. I quietly walked to her bedroom door all the while smelling something sweet in the air. I pushed her door open and saw all the candles lit throughout the room. I thought WOW...she listened to what I liked! There she was, laying there in her satin nightie...half asleep. She looked so sexy. I looked around the room and took it all in...the sights and the sensual smell of the candles burning. I disrobed and joined her in bed. She had a big thick comforter that felt very comfortable as I climbed in next to her. We layed there for a few minutes just snuggling and then began to kiss. Very nice, long, slow, deep, passionate kisses. We began to become one in that bed as we continued. We both enjoyed eachothers bodies that night. That was as close to "making love" with some as I had had in A LONG time. It was very sensual and passionate. We really seemed to be into one another and enjoyed the others company. We spooned for a long time that night. She even reverse spooned. I was in heaven. Why do I put this down in my blog? Well as I said in the beginning of this...I screwed it up by doing something REALLY stupid. I had done it as a joke to someone else but sent a random "flirt" to her and she took it (understandably) personal. I tried to apologize in vain, but to know avail. Then she hit me with the dagger. She said that she (did...past tense) REALLY like me. That comment went right through me. I was SO wounded. It felt like someone close to me had died. I tried to apologize again but she wouldn't hear it. I want to say for all the world to read...that I APOLOGIZE. It was never meant to hurt or bother you in any way, shape or form. I have missed you for so long, just to have you go away again...
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and MY reply
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You seem to have an inability to know when to stop.
All you've done is make me dislike you even more....not because of your 'apology'.....but because.......even NOW......when you're trying to make yourself look SO good to the world .....(or perhaps you're trying to salve your conscience...if this truly IS a real blog posting).......you are unable to tell the truth......the WHOLE truth.
I would have respected you more if you had 'come clean' with why I turned you away......that you were dishonest.
But no.......NOW you've made me look petty.....that I would get mad and spurn you over a 'flirtatious wink'.......when we both know that where you REALLY fucked up was when your ex wife (live-in/whatEVER you want to call her)... called me.......and THEN.......you didnt have the balls to CALL me about it afterwards.......you told me over the INTERNET.....WHAT a MAN.
Just let it GO .......until you can truly grow up and take responsibility for what you have done and will do......you're not healthy for ANY woman to be involved with.
I think it's disgusting that you continue posting that you're divorced (which implies you're single/available) while looking for women.
I have better things to do with my time.......and I dont think you can really appreciate how angry this has made me......but at the same time.......I thank you......for its better to have seen all of what you're capable of before I got much more involved with you.
Do every woman a favor......stop playing the 'game' until you can play honestly
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I dont normally air my dirty laundry.....but THIS would be a prime example of why my profile has been turned off in the past.
Men.....wonder why you're not getting any replies or good connections?
Give some thought to putting a LITTLE more effort into things, perhaps a totally honest profile and more then a 'wanna fuck.

ChopsRedidDrawl 45M
2 posts
6/20/2006 1:54 pm

Wow, I can understand why you would be upset. My profile isn't much but it's honest. Uggg, I'm sorry you had to go through that.


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