My Secret's Out  

RedHead2922 44F
35 posts
7/1/2006 10:59 am

Last Read:
7/26/2006 11:12 am

My Secret's Out

I am going to die. And then I’m going to kill my dog.

On any normal weekend Cody is in need of a lot of attention, he’s an attention hog of a dog. So when I’m not giving him full attention he will find ways to force me to pay attention to him. His thing is going into my bedroom, grabbing the hair band I took out the night before, or a sock, or underwear and running to me wherever I am to make sure I notice. Fine, it’s his thing and I have never been able to break him of this, and secretly its kind of a fun game we play. He puts it on my lap or at my feet and when he sees that I have noticed he grabs it before I can get it, runs downstairs and waits for me to come after him. He likes making me chase him, its fine most times I’m able to get whatever it is away from him before he runs outside with it. On a couple of occasions I have found my undies in the yard…must have been a day when I didn’t feel like playing the chasing game. Today was one of the days I didn’t feel like playing the chasing game, and I’m paying for it in pure embarrassment.

Normally he only blackmails me into the chase with one of three items; socks, undies or hair bands. Today he chose something new…

how should I put this?
*Ahem* he chose my…
massager…
my battery operated boyfriend…my…
Alright Ill just say it- he got my vibrator!!!

I don’t know how he got it, honestly I don’t remember leaving it out, but I must have forgotten to put it away…anyway he got it and I had no idea.

I had been cleaning around the house and he dropped something at my feet that I just assumed was one of his rubber toys and I dismissed it because I was busy. He even barked at me a couple times and I never raised my eyes to see what he had for me!!!

Oh my god and there’s more…
He took it outside.
He took my vibrator into the yard!

A few minutes had passed since the barking incident and now he was outside barking at something. I stuck my head out the sliding glass door to see what it was, and noticed Cody at the edge of the fence, and a couple of kids with their mom walking on the sidewalk on the other side of the fence. I shooshed him because I thought he was barking at them. He wasn’t. And the kids stopped to look.

When Cody stopped barking to look back at me, I could hear something sort of humming, something sort of buzzing against the fence where he was. It sounded like a toy airplane that you wind up or something. I wondered if one of the kids on the other side of the fence had maybe dropped a toy or something and it rolled under into my yard so I walked over to it. It wasn’t a toy airplane, but it was a toy, my toy! It must have come on while he was tossing it around in the yard. The worst part about it, I could see those kids and that mother through the slats in my fence, and I saw the look on her face before she rushed them off down the sidewalk…away from the vibrator in my yard.

Oh god, I think they were walking home from church.

I’m so mortified!

I tried to get to it as fast as I could before she saw, honest! But it took me a minute to comprehend what it was that was buzzing against the fence in my yard!

Oh god, I’m going to hell.


rm_sexyeyes967 47F

7/1/2006 11:45 am

don't forget to take b.o.b. .... lol....

funny b.o.b. moments, blogville is full of them, no doubt. I could actually hear him against the fence..


WeaveBurlsValve 55M
127 posts
7/1/2006 12:02 pm

Quick!
Run to the nearest pet store and purchase MANY dog toys that make noises!
Make sure some of them are roughly the same color and size as your vibe.
Keep the yard full of them... The Mom might think she was wrong about what she thought she saw...

And never ignore Cody again unless you know what he is playing with!


rm_zippy181 55M
4 posts
7/1/2006 12:03 pm

oh dear shit happens, but it will give them something to talk about, i bet you those mums have one them selves at home , i have seen them used a cocktail wisk - i must admit it does turn a few heads , but who cares . its not like you were sitting by the fence useing it .


rm_1Gargoyle 49M
4 posts
7/1/2006 12:41 pm

Well now if I am driving around Austin and see socks, panties, hair band, and a vibrator in the yard I'll know who lives there So how is cody if your boyfriend does not require batteries, does he steal his undies? Don't worry Mom went rushed home to check her undies drawer to make sure it was not hers, you know how kids like to play with things.


kerrod 50M

7/3/2006 9:33 am

So the neighbors saw your vibrator, big deal. What's the worst that can happen to you, one of your neighbors knocks on your door and wants to introduce you to one of their single relatives to go out on a blind date. Laugh it off and store it in your memory to share with your girlfriends when you're getting hammered on one of those "Ladies Night Out."


tenorsaxxman 67M

7/14/2006 7:27 pm

Just tell them it's one of those electronic gopher repellers; they say there aren't any in your area and you say, "see, it works!"

Tenorsaxxman


rm_Slurrystar 53M

7/27/2006 10:03 am

When I was 13 or 14, my friend and I were playing around in his backyard and I found a dildo near the alley. We had no idea what it was. We turned it on and off and on and off for the longest time, trying to figure out what was to be done with it, and then his mom appeared in the yard and took it away. We didn't care, we had other things to do, but I don't think I ever saw my friend's mom look so pale. "Your mom looks kinda sick," I said. He laughed. Probably a year passed before I figured out what that toy was.

Good times!


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